


Death will know your name

by ShouldNotBeHere



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood and Injury, Death, Depression, F/F, Finally, Fluff, Guilt, I promise, I should probably add slow burn?, LGBTQ Themes, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, also im not a native english speaker, i have problems with commas, it gets better and longer with every chapter, not really happy for the most part
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-01-09 23:16:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 82,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12286278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShouldNotBeHere/pseuds/ShouldNotBeHere
Summary: AU in which Max never went back to Arcadia and never made contact with Chloe after moving out to Seattle. She still got her powers but there is no storm, no Jefferson and Rachel is alive and successful in LA.Max, 22 years old right now, still wanted to help others with her powers but without abandoning her passion for photography - thus became a war reporter.Chloe is 23 and living in San Francisco.





	1. As the water grinds the stone

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So, first things first – English is not my native language. One of my reasons for writing this is to actually hear some feedback from you guys. There will probably be grammatical errors and strange sounding sentences – please feel encouraged to point them out! :)  
> Secondly, this fic is not going to be a happy one, at least not for the first part. There will be mentions of abuse, hurting, angst, PTSD, death, guilt, depression, suicide, drugs, a little gore... All that fun stuff. Also fluff later, probably smut too.  
> And there will be a lot of exposition in the first two chapters. Sorry, I know it can be tiring to read :(

 

 

_Time is like a bullet from behind_  
_I run for cover just like you_  
_Time is like a liquid in my hands_  
_I swim for dry land just like you_

 

**_29.06.2017_ **

Every person has its own definition of peace and quiet. For one it will be that lazy ticking noise of an old clock hanging on the kitchen wall. Somebody else will find the sound of a heart, beating rhythmically inside his lover's chest to be peaceful and calming. Another one will feel content sitting on his balcony at 6am, drinking coffee, listening to morning traffic and muffled voices coming from the TV.  
Max never really thought about it. She rarely sat in total silence – for years there was always some kind of noise in her life, at all times. Usually music or that ambient noise of the dorm life: students talking and laughing, that shy girl practicing her guitar skills every other morning, birds chirping outside of her window, a quiet hum emerging from overheating laptop. She was so accustomed with it, most of the time not even registering all this sounds around her. That was her definition of peace and quiet.

She slowly breathed out through her nose and opened her eyes. It was all different here. For the last year (omitting a couple of weeks) she was trying to get used to her new situation. Sure, she knew this was not going to be easy. She was practically pushing her way into a life she knew barely anything at all, not even sure if she was ready for something like this.

Truth to be told, she probably wasn't.

But there was one thing that she was sure of – she wanted to help. Even if it meant to 'risk her life for a couple of sad photos'.  
That's what her parents called it anyway when she talked with them about becoming a war reporter. The quarrel that took place that day should be documented in history books – Max never before saw her father _crying_. Ever. Even when he cut off a good chunk of his finger while cutting wood. Not even when his mother, Max's grandmother, had a stroke and died hours later in a hospital. She sometimes doubted if her father could cry.  
The sight of his tears broke something inside of her heart that day.

But they didn't know what she is capable of, what she can really do. You don't get superpowers from some divine being only to waste them on rewinding awkward conversations and broken mugs.

Here, in the outskirts of some small Israel city where she was camping with three soldiers and one colleague, she could do more. She knew she could because she already did in the past. Once, twice, fifteen times.  
And right now she is not referring to all the awards she got for her work. Sure, she managed to make a name for herself in a really short time – her photos were 'amazing', 'expressive' and 'true', at least that's what critics were saying. They also commended her written articles, some even comparing them to the works of Robert Fisk.  
But that was not why she was doing this, not entirely.

Sooner or later people will forget her 'expressive' photos, just like they keep forgetting about wars and all that suffering. They will, at best, make a sad face, comment that 'life is so unfair, poor people' and then they will go watch some dumb comedy show, only to never again think about this unpleasant reality. As long as it's not their own reality, her photos will only be sad reminders.  
_'God, when did I became such a cynic?'_  
No, she had to do more. She would feel awful about herself if she let her powers go to waste.

A week ago Aaron was joking that she is like a rabbit's paw, their lucky charm. Max glanced at a sleeping man, barely older than her. His mouth was partially open, luckily he wasn't snoring. He was resting on his left side with arms folded on his slowly moving chest. If not for a bloodied bandage wrapped around his arm and dog tags hanging in front of his dirty shirt he would look really peaceful. Normal.

How far from truth that was. She knew that he was ready to get up and fight in an instant if needed. Here you just can't sleep peacefully. They had to be vigilant at all times. Especially after last week, when not even one night was quiet. Yesterday a mortar attack targeted a small playground, barely 200 yards from their camp. You could also often hear shots coming from the nearby city.

But today, for the first time in a week, the night was silent. Peaceful and quiet. Max couldn't even hear the wind. The only thing reassuring her that she didn't spontaneously go deaf was the sound of breathing and occasional rustling coming from her moving companions.  
It was really unnerving.

She closed her eyes, trying to think about something else for a while.  
In moments like this she usually thought about her home, thousands of miles away.  
About her parents, probably not even sure if she is still alive.  
About her friends from school who all found work in various magazines, journals, newspapers and advertising agencies.  
About her old friends that she never contacted again after moving away to Seattle. Even after so many years. She managed to get a diploma from a prestigious university but couldn't force herself to write a simple short message till it was way too late.  
Max was not known for burning bridges behind her. She was abandoning them and patiently waiting, until they were rotting and falling apart because of her negligence.  
She hated herself for that, especially during nights like this.

Her thoughts were full of Chloe since she got her powers for some reason... Well, to be honest, she never really completely stopped thinking about her. But now? Every topic was sooner or later ending with that girl. How was she after William death? Is she still living in Arcadia Bay? What is she doing with her life right now? Is she thinking about Max from time to time? Can she ever remember her?

Finally she fell asleep, dreaming of pirate ships and gigantic sea monsters tearing them apart with ease.

\----------

The thing about radio music – it was mostly crap. Everything sounded the same and was about the same thing: love, fucking or love and fucking. Nothing really deep, nothing innovative.  
And that was fine, don't get me wrong here. Apparently most people enjoyed listening to it daily, so there must be something to it. Even if a small percentage of people thought that it was only good for getting you up in the morning to turn it off. The perfect alarm.

A quiet, definitely not made by a fully conscious person, moan came from the bed. Moments later a slender hand reached for the bedside table and with unbelievable force slammed down on the poor alarm clock, efficiently shutting it down. A small set of keys and an old cellphone placed nearby moved a little with a small ding, even further disturbing this quiet morning.  
Then there was silence.  
And even more silence.  
Finally there was another moan and a yawn, accompanied with a pleasant sound of rustling sheets and not so pleasant sound of a creaking bed.

Clouded blue eyes stared at the clock. They stayed there for a while, not really capable of interpreting what they were seeing right now. Wonders of a still sleeping mind.  
“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuuuuuck!” And obscene mantra filled the small room. Thin, short haired woman quickly jumped off her bed, nearly slipping on a shirt she threw on the ground a couple of days earlier. That would be a phenomenal way to start a new day – who wouldn't want to slam his face in the wall right after waking up?

She quickly dressed herself, picking clothes mostly at random. Just as she was finishing putting on her pants, an obnoxious melody started playing from her bedside table. She grabbed her vibrating cellphone, not even glancing at the caller ID, and answered it.

“Yeah Carl, I know, I'm already on my way.” She lied quickly, painfully aware that her voice was betraying her in this moment. It was way too hoarse and sleepy to even remotely sound like it belonged to somebody who 'was already on her way'.

“Chloe, for fuck's sake, again?” She heard an angry voice and involuntarily rolled her eyes. She heard this kind of accusing voice way too often. Especially recently.

“It's the last time.” She mumbled, not really in the mood to argue. Besides, there was nothing to argue about anyway. “I will be in the studio in 30 minutes, tops.” She continued before Carl could reply in any way, using her free hand to grab the keys.

“You better. Otherwise I will cut your profit.” He hanged up before Chloe said anything back. Putting her phone in her pocket she cursed quietly and started making her way to the bathroom. There was no way she was leaving without at least washing her face.

She turned on the lights, not really too happy to be greeted by her own reflection.

Bloodshot eyes with dark circles beneath them, ruffled hair that she really should dye in the near future to hide the showing roots, scarce remains of nail polish on her too long nails... She couldn't remember when was the last time she looked so bad, so... Ill.  
It was not her fault that she couldn't sleep.

After a short while she exited the bathroom, looking a little better – at least good enough to go out and interact with other people. Not that she really wanted to or cared about that in the slightest. Over the years she came to conclusion that no one minded how tattoo artists looked anyway. She could go to work in a white top, without bra, with an uncombed hair and without makeup - she still would have clients and no complaints. What mattered was talent and that Chloe had.  
What also mattered was focusing on her work, and about that...

She grabbed an almost empty mug sitting on a countertop in the kitchen and without hesitation drank the stale remains of her yesterday's coffee. Then she quickly left her apartment, on purpose avoiding looking at a black laptop sitting on the other end of the table.

She hopped in car and turned on the radio to occupy her mind with something. She didn't want to think. Especially not about that thing that kept her from sleeping well for the past couple of weeks. That is, if she even managed to fall asleep at all.

Hah. A futile attempt. Since, by a complete accident, she heard the name 'Caulfield' in the news she just could not stop worrying.  
10 years have passed since she last saw Max.  
5 since she stopped hoping to ever hear again from her.  
A year since she almost stopped thinking about her. Since she became a tiny, quiet voice hanging in the back of her head that surfaced from time to time to remind her of her idiocy.  
A couple of weeks since Max, again, became like a hurricane blowing away all her other thoughts.

Chloe knew that her ex-best friend would hit it big. Even when they were much younger. To be fair, her photos were great, almost always they had that _something_ in them. That still rough but definitely present talent. She sometimes envied Max – the fact, that she could make something nice without really thinking about it was, from time to time, a little infuriating. Chloe never was that good at anything. She could draw, sure. But if she was _talented_ then brunette was simply _gifted_.

Max could find work wherever she wanted, in any magazine, journal or some other shit like that, Chloe was sure of it.  
_'Then why the fuck did she became a fucking war reporter?!'_  
That was something hard to comprehend. That tiny brunette with kind smile and doe eyes was not fitted for something like that. Sure, her character could have changed in the past years as much as Chloe's, you never know. Still, she just couldn't begin to imagine that small woman near the front lines, tightly holding her camera, with bullets flying above, bombs going off in the distance, people dying all around...

She took a deep breath. That night, when she heard her name for the first time since so long (and on top of it in TV) at first she was dumbfounded. And that was the last 'good' emotion she felt since that day.

She heard somewhere a myth that camera always adds 10 pounds. That skinny, pale, short woman receiving some award that Chloe didn't really care for was definitely busting that myth. That fake smile plastered to her face, lifeless eyes and tired posture was almost making her look like a zombie. It hurt to look at.  
Whatever Max did to get those photos was not worth it. Not in Chloe's eyes. Fuck no.

Since then she spend most of her free time looking up informations about brunette. She saw all her photos, read all her articles, watched all the interviews. Once, twice, thrice, one thousand times.  
And she cursed herself for doing so. She made a promise to the world that Max Caulfield is in the past. Convinced herself that she was not a part of her life anymore and will never be again. The anger she felt for that girl ( _'woman now'_ ) shifted to longing, only to be even later on reduced to full of grief acceptance. And for what? Only to be replaced by an almost constant fear for somebody, who probably couldn't even remember her?  
_'Fucking pathetic.'_

Chloe should take care of her own life and once and for all forget about another person who abandoned her. Like her father, like Rachel, like even her mother.

“Fuck.” She tightened her grip on a steering wheel and turned left, to the parking lot in front of her work.  
She just couldn't do it. She couldn't forget about Max. Especially now, when brunette had a very real chance to die at any moment.  
God forgive, she just couldn't move on.

 

  
_Time is like a blanket on my face_  
_I try to be here just like you_  
_Time is just a fiction of our minds_  
_I will survive and so will you_  
  
_Bullet – Covenant_

 


	2. It's the side effects that save us

_Graceless_  
_I figured out how to be faithless_  
_But it would be a shame to waste this_  
_You can't imagine how I hate this_

**_10.08.2017 – month and a half later_ **

“Take a step to the left.” A quiet, amused voice caught Aaron's attention.  
“Why, you just assume that I can't hit it from here?” He smiled, glancing over his shoulder at a sitting brunette. He kept idly playing with a small rock between his fingers. “Your lack of faith in me is hurting me greatly, my lady.”  
Max theatrically rolled her eyes and shrugged. “Do how you please. But you won't hit it from here.” She said with such confidence that Aaron had no choice but to listen to her.

He changed his position, took a comically big swing and threw the rock, perfectly hitting one of the cans sitting on a partially destroyed wall.  
Max faintly smiled. It took only three rewinds to get it right. Too little to be considered as good practice but right now she was happy for any opportunity to use her powers, even so insignificant. She was slowly going crazy from sitting here, where nothing ever happened. Nothing to take a picture of, nothing to rewind, just... One big nothing. And they were supposed to sit here for at least a week more.  
_'I'm going to die here. But not because of a stray bullet or terrorists but of pure boredom. I guess that's kinda fitting for me.'_

“I would have hit it anyway.” She heard Aaron's voice and looked at him, abandoning that silly line of thought. He made his way to her and sat beside, resting his back on a dirty wall.  
“Yeah, sure.”  
“Seriously. That throw was easy.” He shrugged but continued talking when he saw doubt, clearly painted all over her face. “You really have no faith in me, huh? Or can you foresee the future all of sudden?” He playfully bumped her with his shoulder, still smiling.  
“Crap, you got me.” He was closer to the truth than he could imagine. In some way she could see the future. “But don't tell anyone. Who knows what Ben would do if he knew.” She asked, trying to keep a straight face.

Aaron, with fake indignation, placed a hand on his chest. “Me? Miss Caulfield, your secret is safe with me. I guarantee that I would never abuse the trust of a lady, especially such a pretty one.” He theatrically took her hand and touched it briefly with his lips. Max quickly looked the other way trying to hide her slowly reddening cheeks, a little embarrassed.

He laughed wholeheartedly and friendly poked her arm. He knew that this would be her reaction – she took any sincere compliments, especially ones regarding her looks, like an embarrassed teenager.  
He thought it was adorable how flustered she can get.  
She, on the other hand, hated that this was still her reaction. She was 22, for God's sake. She shouldn't act like a shy teen anymore.

But, to be fair, Aaron wasn't seriously flirting with her, he just had a thing for teasing. In fact, most of the time they acted like siblings.  
Not to mention, he had a wife waiting for him in New York. Max saw pictures of them together and heard how his voice changed when he talked about her. He was more happy, more relaxed every time he mentioned her. Just... So full of love.

Max wasn't interested either way. Since she ended things with her last boyfriend (incidentally, his name was Maximilian – so many misunderstandings...) sometime around high school, she stopped caring about her romantic life. She was not really sure that she even wanted to be with anybody – sure, it was fun while it lasted and she liked him but... It just seemed to her that he needed her more than she would ever need him.  
Besides, it was kind of boring.

They sat in silence for awhile, each one of them consumed by their own thoughts. Finally Max moved, stretched her aching muscles and went for her camera. She decided to look over her photos, again.

She passed her colleague, Ben, giving him only a quick nod. She wasn't really in a mood to talk to him. They usually got along fine, but they didn't have many common topics to discuss, besides of course their work or politics. He was also a little... Rude? No, no rude. Harsh, maybe. But she respected him. His work was really good and he arranged for her to be here. It would be way harder if he hadn't helped so... Yeah. She was grateful.  
He nodded in response, apparently also not keen on talking right now.

She grabbed her bag and pulled out a digital camera. She loved her polaroid but here it would be impractical, to say at least. She had to leave it in her apartment in San Francisco – which was a present from her grandparents for her 21st birthday. They lived there (in the city, not in that particular house) and thought that she would like to get out of Seattle and finally settle on her own after graduating. They were right, she didn't want to stay with her parents in that town for the rest of her life. And she was grateful for that apartment, she really was. Even if she slept there once and never even unpacked. She just felt like it was just something bought only to convince her to stay, to change her mind.

This camera wasn't old, she got it from parents maybe year or two ago – but it looked way older. Paint was gone, plastic parts were chipped in many places and it was scratched like hell. She ran her thumb over the biggest gash, having no problem to recall how it got there. It was a few months ago, when a small chunk of debris from a rapidly crumbling wall flew into her hand, damaging both her skin and camera.

She didn't rewind time that day – if the camera was still working she had no real reason to do so. Her wound would stay anyway, since she was incapable of rapidly healing herself, unfortunately, and time manipulation didn't work on her body. Also, she had to be careful - some wounds could be hard to explain if she used her powers after already getting them. Because how do you even begin to explain a bullet wound in your arm but without the bullet and an exit wound? Ice bullets?  
Nice idea but no, it was not possible.

She also sometimes wondered if she was shortening her own life by using this powers. Rewinding for 15 or 30 seconds may not seem as much but sum up all the times she did that and you would get a few days at least.  
Now, the question was, will she die a few days sooner? Practically her body already lived through these hours and she got older...  
But if that was not the case then she, technically, was immortal.  
It was an oddly terrifying thought.  
_'It's kinda to late to think about it right now anyway.'_  
She sat down on a bucket that they used as a chair and turned on her camera.

\----------

  
_'We should really fix this fucking glow-tube.'_ Chloe thought, again, while sending the annoying light source a mean look. The buzzing coming out of it seemed to be louder than the music she turned on a couple of hours ago. Not possible, she was sure of it.  
But apparently the glow-tube didn't know that.

This stupid humming, it irked her. She couldn't focus on work. Good thing that right now she was only doing a commission on paper, not actually inking somebody.

She put aside her pencil and got up, glancing once more at that stupid glow-tube. _'It's all your fault.'_ She summed up, painfully aware that she was getting angry because of something she probably wouldn't even notice a year ago.

She stretched her arms, nearly touching the door frame as she walked out of the room. She was going to the kitchen for some fresh coffee, maybe also to smoke in the meantime. An awful addiction that she once managed to successfully quit.  
Well, successfully till now.

But she found that nicotine rush calming. Pot was also really good at soothing her but it was so long since she bought some...

A few days ago Carl caught her smoking in the back. Usually he is very strict about that – every time he saw somebody with a cigarette he would get angry and start to nag, like, 'it's unhealthy you moron', 'ever heard of lung cancer', 'I don't really care about you but don't fucking poison me', that kind of scolding. But he didn't even look a her that day. He just left her alone.  
And she was grateful for that.

Making sure there is enough water in the electric kettle, she turned it on. When reaching for a mug she caught a glimpse of her face in the nearby mirror (it was a tattoo studio – they had mirrors literally everywhere). She looked better recently – she gave up blue hair a while ago, settling for blue highlights instead and right now they were bright and crisp. They looked nice with her strawberry blond hair, contrasting in an attractive way.  
Her nails, although not painted, were cleanly cut. Even her skin was a little tanned so she didn't look like a walking corpse.  
But black circles under her still bloodied eyes were not going anywhere soon.

She poured the boiling water into her mug, not even paying any attention to that pleasant smell of a freshly made coffee that immediately filled the kitchen. She drank so much of it that she became kinda... Insensible to that scent?

She still had problems sleeping – that problem was also not going anywhere. But she was a little... Glad that she couldn't really rest well, I guess? It was easier that way to maintain this strange routine that she fell into.  
Every morning she was felling like shit, exhausted even before she got up, because she didn't sleep enough. Thanks to that she was too tired to think about anything important ( _'about anything dreadful, scary, depressing'_ ) when she was at work and could focus on her job.  
A few hours later she would jump into her car and head home, or, if her stomach was loud enough, to get some takeout food. She could cook something – she was good at it, thanks to her mother – but since Joyce died Chloe practically abandoned the kitchen.  
At home she'd turn on her TV for some background noise and, usually, start working again. Making more projects, moderating their website, even responding to clients' emails if there was literally nothing else she could do. She hated that but at least this messages seemed endless and trying to answer them all was really time consuming.  
Then, late at night, when her eyes would start to sting and eyelids wouldn't stay up, she'd go take a shower and then to bed. But despite the yawning, the hurting eyes and her heavy head, she couldn't fall asleep immediately.  
So she brainlessly watched her ceiling, or, if she felt particularly adventurous, her wall and slowly drifted away.

Then in the morning she would fell like shit. Loop and repeat. Even on her free days, when she insisted on doing overtime.  
_'Welcome to the exciting life of Chloe Price, ladies and gentleman. At least I will be rich with all that extra money I get from Carl.'_

She was aware that this couldn't continue for long. She had to do something or at this rate she would die from caffeine overdose.  
Or, which would be way worse, she'd fall asleep behind the wheel and kill somebody. That would be really awful, to put it mildly.

But being tired all the time was comfortable. Easy.

She took a sip of her coffee, not bothered by its still high temperature. She hated moments like this, when she managed to lose her focus. All of her deliberately buried thoughts were starting to emerge from that heavy fog of exhaustion she created around her brain. Just like right now, when she was thinking about her life, how she degraded it to something dull and empty. She couldn't even remember when was the last time she went to a pub or a party, not to mention a concert. Her younger self would be hella disappointed in her.  
She chuckled sadly, a little amused. ' _Hella_.' During the last few months she used it less and less and it kind of fell out of her dictionary.  
She was not particularly sad about that.

Anyway, she was ought to do something about her life. She stopped checking out any news about Max's life, convincing herself that it was easier that way... And that turned out to be a shitty idea. Who would have thought?  
But she was stubborn. Till now.

_'Letter.'_ A loud and clear idea appeared in her mind. _'Maybe I should write her a letter? They deliver mail to military units, don't they?'_ As far as she knew Max was hanging out with some unit in Israel right now. Chloe could probably find more specific information if she really wanted to.

She could also write an email, that would probably be easier. Brunette surely had one. But a physical letter seemed like a better idea... No, not better. _Safer_ idea, in her mind at least. There was, of course, no guarantee that her letter would even reach Max – it could get lost, misplaced, destroyed. And it would take months to even hear a reply from her... If she would ever reply. She had kind of a habit to not do that.  
But it felt more personal. More real than some black dots neatly arranged on a lifeless white screen.

And if she was to really do it then she should do it properly. Her thoughts, written down by her trembling hand on a slightly creased paper, her almost palpable feelings enchanted in that small cavities left in places where she pressed on the pen too hard.  
_'That sounds like some mushy therapeutic shit.'_  
For the first time in so long the corners of her mouth curved up a little. Maybe, yes, but she liked this idea. What she didn't like, however, were the possible outcomes.

She would be devastated if she never got a reply back. After all this, after how invested she got? And yeah, about that... She couldn't really understand why she still felt so strongly about someone who abandoned her ages ago (and probably now was a completely different person) but truth to be told? That didn't matter. She cared for her and that was it. Maybe because Max was the last thing linking Chloe to her past, the last bridge to that happy times when everyone was still alive and close by.  
Maybe, who knows.

Still, she was unsure about this letter, scared. But she knew that she wouldn't forgive herself if Max died, unaware that Chloe still cared and wished her all the best. That she was not mad or anything about the past. How could she, when brunette was thousands of miles away, helping people in such an extreme way?

She put her already empty mug in the sink and went back to her desk. She will write that letter.  
But not today. She'll wait a few days to convince herself that this really is a good idea. Then she'll start.

 

_All of my thoughts of you_  
_Bullets through rotten fruit_  
_Come apart at the seams_  
_Now I know what dying means_  
  
_Graceless – The National_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first – thank you all very much for all the comments, feedback and kudos. I really appreciate them all, especially since I wasn't so sure about posting this online in the first place :D  
> And, again, I'm sorry for any (grammar related or not) mistakes. Someday I will get better at this, I promise.  
> Now a heads up – next chapter will be retrospections, focusing mostly on the most important things that happened to Max and Chloe since 2013. I just feel like it's necessary and that there should be a little more content before shit hits the fan.  
> Take care, you beautiful people.


	3. Where seagulls wail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can skip this chapter if you want – it's not really necessary for the story. There is still absolutely zero fluff here, quite the opposite actually – including some (just a little, really) gore.  
> I kind of feel like I took it a little too far in some parts. Still, I hope you enjoy it, despite everything.

_Where you have gone to_  
_I cannot say_  
_Wherever I belong to_  
_Too far away_

  
**14.10.2013**

Max has always liked October. Everything around her has begun preparations for winter - nature and humans alike.  
Beautiful brown leaves slowly making brittle carpets all around town, flocks of birds covering the sky, squirrels hoarding food, neighbors hiding garden furniture and grills in their cellars, people already wearing light jackets. It was all almost too perfect for photographing.  
Autumn had that great atmosphere that Max loved.

She leaned on the brick wall behind her. While she was waiting for her bus to arrive she took out photos from her bag, once more reviewing them.  
Apart from one class, that she already had in the morning, her schedule was free today. So she decided to spend some time around the lake and take a couple of shots for her homework project. The light was great today and she wanted to utilize it as much as she could.

90% of her photos were exquisite. She caught a swan that was just preparing to take flight, a squirrel sitting on a branch with the sun perfectly framed in the background, an otter in the exact moment when it was emerging from the water... And many, many more.  
She was conflicted. These were one of the best photos she ever took, there was no doubting that. But she couldn't help but feel like a fraud.  
A tired, time rewinding fraud.

Sighing, Max threw photos in her bag. She still couldn't believe that it was all real. It was exactly a week ago when she discovered her new, amazing abilities. And how was she using them?  
Well, she already saved 3 mugs from breaking and one book from being drenched in orange juice, not to mention how she ingratiated people with her incredible power to say exactly what they wanted to hear... And now she took some wonderful photos.

_'Truly awesome, SuperMax.'_ She sighed again. Her excuse, that she was only 'testing' her powers, stopped being plausible when she rewound time only to answer some stupid question during class. No, she wasn't 'testing' them, she was selfishly using them for some stupid shit. Like come on, she should be better than that. It felt... Wrong.

She noticed some movement out of the corner of her eye and slightly turned her head to get a better look. There was a man, tall and muscular, leaning on the wall a couple of yards from her. He was dressed in a military uniform and there was a huge duffel bag placed between his feet. Orange light casted by the sunset was illuminating his face in such a way that Max's attention was instantly drawn to a big scar on his cheek and a black eyepatch above it.

She looked at her feet, feeling even worse now. How many like him, people who could do something meaningful with her powers, are out there? People who wouldn't waste such abilities on some silly drama, stupid dishes or just to get good grades?  
Too many. So why she was 'the chosen one'?

Max got on the bus and took the first free seat. She glanced once more at the disfigured man that was still standing near the wall. An idea sprouted in her mind.  
Maybe, just maybe, she could do more.

\----------

**12.03.2014**

“What's on your mind?” Rachel's voice was quiet, full of warmth. Her eyes, as always filled with something hard to pinpoint, were focused on Chloe. Blue haired girl was lying on her bed, smoking.  
“Nothing.” She took a drag of her cigarette, not looking and Rachel who was putting on her bra right now. “You. Me. Us.” She corrected herself after a while, apparently not pleased with her first answer.

“Us?” Still smiling, Rachel raised an eyebrow, now curious and a little alerted. She looked around the room trying to locate her shirt, not sure where Chloe threw it earlier. “What do you mean?”

This time she didn't answer immediately but Rachel didn't push. She knew better – Chloe always had hard time speaking about her feelings, good or bad ones.  
Instead she focused again on her shirt, finally finding it near the door. Yeah, that was right, she recalled something about getting rid of it in that vicinity.

“Shit, I don't know.” Chloe sat up on her bed, putting the cigarette away. “You are not leaving yet, right?”

Rachel shook her head, busy with buttoning her shirt. “No, you still owe me a fancy dinner, at least. That's only gentlemanly.” She joked, looking around for her remaining clothes.

“No, that's not...” Chloe sighed, apparently not in the mood for jokes. Confused look on Rachel's face forced her to continue. “You are so close to graduating from Blackhell. For weeks you've been practically talking only about LA.” She glanced at her with a strange look that Rachel never saw before. “But recently? Nothing. Like you have forgotten or something.”

“Chloe, I still have a couple of months of class and exams.” She reminded her, simultaneously putting on some pants.  
“I know, I know.” She didn't sound convinced. “But, did something happen, change? You've been kind of offish for some time... I mean, fuck... We are still running away from this hellhole, right?”  
Rachel forced herself to smile and sat next to the blue haired girl. She caressed Chloe's cheek with her fingers, thinking.

She thought about Frank. About how he was keeping her photos in his wallet; about their dinners, lately very frequent; about their 'just one night' that turned into 'every other night'.  
She also thought about herself. About how she was hopelessly fighting this new feelings. How she was too scared to really commit, too frightened to make a choice. Still too unsure.

“Don't trouble yourself Chloe.” She kissed her tenderly. “You have nothing to worry about. Anyway, I have to take a raincheck on that dinner.” She got up and sent Chloe a warm smile. “I still have to take care of some school stuff. I'll call you later.” And just like that she was gone, moments later already outside of this house. Chloe clearly heard how Rachel slammed the front doors.

She collapsed on her mattress ans closed her eyes. “Fuck.” She summed up, not really sure what to think about all this. Something was up with Rachel, she just couldn't figure out what. For the last few weeks she seriously wasn't herself, like she had to constantly hide her nervousness or something. They barely even talked when they were together, limiting themselves to meaningless topics...  
Or maybe Chloe was seriously overreacting and paranoid.

She should stop being so clingy. Everything was fine, wasn't it? They went out together today and it was nice. Rachel is probably just nervous about graduating or some other school shit, that's it. This all will pass, surely.  
Because they had _something_ , right? Something strong and good.

She opened her eyes and grabbed her clothes. A small, really tiny part of her brain was still screaming that something is wrong but she deliberately ignored it.

\----------

**15.05.2014**

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her head was starting to hurt – an obvious sign that she was overusing her powers. A couple of more rewinds and a nosebleed will appear. Some more after that and she will pass out.

She reached out with her hand and focused once more on a row of cars that were passing in the distance. Slowly exhaling, she rewound.  
For a fraction of a second everything was still. Then it started to move quickly backwards.  
She focused more. Cars slowly slowed down, almost coming to a full stop again. Almost.

When she felt a small sting of pain in her brain she put her hand down, allowing the cars to move forward like they were supposed to. She wiped her eyes, feeling tired. No matter how hard she tried she just couldn't stop time entirely. Even when she ignored the pain and kept going – she quickly learned not to do that if she didn't want to faint on the spot.

But Max was sure she could do it. Her powers developed greatly since she got them – in the first couple of weeks she could rewind time only for 20-25 seconds at most and felt tired after doing so only 2 or 3 times in a row. Right now she could go for even 60 seconds before feeling any pain or exhaustion.

She also discovered some confusing things about the way her power interacts with stuff. If she had something on her for a long time – like her clothes, bag or camera in hand – they would not rewind. They stayed with her.

But when she grabbed a random rock or a fistful of sand... They always went back to where they were, even if she tried to hold them. She just couldn't – things literally went _through_ her, like she was a ghost or something. A strange sight, let me tell you.  
But, there were exceptions from this. Like with food – luckily everything she swallowed would stay with her, thank God for that. She also once tried to rewind a splinter she got on purpose for testing – and this time she wasn't so lucky. Sure, it was reversing, removing itself from her skin but every little movement that small piece of wood made - she was feeling it. An awful sensation. It would probably be even worse with bigger wounds.

It was just a matter of training. Hopefully.  
But, for today, she was done.

\----------

**21.07.2014**

“Are you fucking serious right now?!” Chloe was almost screaming, not bothered by the fact that she was attracting some curious looks from bystanders.  
“Chloe, it's not...”  
“What's 'not'?! What, 'it's not what you think it is, it just looks that way'?! So what the fuck is it then?!” She glanced at Rachel's travel bag that rested firmly on her shoulders. Frank, standing now at the other end of the parking lot near his camper, was carefully observing the girls, not trying to intervene. For now at least. “So what the fuck are you trying to do?! Because, right now, it looks like you are going away! And with _him_ , of all people?!”

It was pure coincidence that she even met them here. She was driving to Two Whales when she passed Frank's car.  
She almost caused an accident when she hit the brakes, dumbfounded by the sight of the two of them together. But her confusion quickly turned to rage and then to fear when she saw the packed bags.

“What the fuck Rachel.” She added, quieter this time. “Why? For fuck's sake, I thought that we had something going.”  
Rachel looked powerless. Like never. “I'm sorry Chloe. It... It was not supposed to go this way.” She finally spoke, trying to meet her eyes.  
She was telling the truth, she really wanted to talk with Chloe beforehand. But she just kept postponing it, week after week till today came and it was too late. Because they really had something, something that Rachel was not ready to completely abandon, despite what she felt towards Frank. She knew it was wrong but right now she only wanted to just ride away from here, run from it. Send Chloe a text or something, lie even that she had to go to her family, alone. After some time break it off in some way... Maybe.  
Anything was better than this – this hurt and screaming girl standing before her.

“Yeah, no shit. I was not supposed to be here, to know anything.” Chloe almost hissed. “Was I ever meant to be here, Rachel? In your life? Or were you just screwing around, like with everyone around you?!” She continued, aware that she was nearing her limits. She was very close to just falling apart in front of Rachel.  
And she really didn't want her to be around when it finally happens.

“Chloe, listen...”  
“No, you know what? Fuck you. Fuck you and fuck him, fuck you all! Of course that you would fucking run away from me, like everyone so far!” She interrupted her, not wanting to be here anymore. Anywhere but here.  
Chloe turned around and quickly hopped in her car. “Go, go and be fucking silver screened in your precious LA, I'm done. I don't give a fuck.” Ignoring all of Rachel's further attempts to communicate, she started her car and just drove away, leaving her in an almost empty parking lot with a packed travel bag near her feet.

\----------

**09.08.2015**

She was terrified. There were no other words to better describe what she was feeling right now. She felt herself panicking and was powerless to do something about it.

She thought that she could do this. She already spent here some time, met poor and starved people who lost everything, talked with them, saw violence and dead bodies, took pictures and wrote about them. When she could she rewound time to warn others about an explosion, gunfight or just accidents. It was not easy and nice, of course not. But she managed.  
She really thought that she was doing fine.

But right now? With her back firmly pressed against a dirty wall, knees pulled to her chest, tongue stuck to her dry palate and arms wrapped so hard around her legs that they would certainly leave bruises?  
She was not doing fine. Not at all.

Max was always trying to be careful. Her top priority was to stay alive and that meant that she always had to hide during shootings – and she always did, daring only to sneak a peak or two for some photos or to rewind and help with warnings if she could.  
But today she was in the middle of the combat. She finally got unlucky.

She wasn't panicking about bullets flying above her head, no, she was safe here, for the time being. She was terrified because of Mark who was, right now, lying maybe a yard from her with an enormous hole in his throat.  
They talked just a moment ago. They were laughing, cracking stupid jokes. His eyes were full of life, his face happy and calm, at ease.  
But the only thing she could remember right now was the gushing blood, suddenly erupting from his throat and that sick gargling noise he made – a sight and sound that made her want to vomit, scream and cry at once. Seeing someone dying like that in front of you was so different from just looking at motionless, already dead bodies. A paralyzing view, especially for someone who never before saw people die right beside her. Sure, she already saw a couple of gunfights that resulted in dead people but it was nothing like this. Not at all.  
She knew him, liked him. But she couldn't help him, she couldn't think, couldn't focus, couldn't...

She felt something on her shoulder and her heart almost burst out of her chest, she could swear that she felt how it bounced off her ribs. “It's fine, hey, it's fine.” A little shaking but calm voice sounded near her head. She knew it, knew Aaron's voice. “You're safe here, hey. Breath.” That grip on her shoulder strengthened, only to weaken a moment after. Then to again strengthen. And again weaken. Over and over again. “Focus on me, ok?”

Max didn't respond, barely aware that someone was speaking to her. She still couldn't take her eyes off Mark's corpse. But she subconsciously started slowly focusing on that alien hand, like a drowning man clutching at straws.

Moments later something big obstructed her view. “It's fine. You can get through this.” Aaron, still gripping her shoulder, knelt in front of her, forcing her to look at his face.  
It was not fine. Bullets were still flying above her heads and he was shot in the arm, which, since he had problems even holding his rifle, rendered him useless right now. But Max didn't know that, didn't hear anything besides his voice. “It's fine. Breath with me. Slowly.”

Finally, after what felt like hours but couldn't be more than a few minutes, everything went quiet. Someone started yelling behind them, someone took care of Mark, someone was crying in the distance. Aaron was still sitting in front of her, talking calmly.  
Not long after Max started to cry.

\----------

**13.09.2015**

She still heard ringing in her ears when she opened her eyes and looked at her arms. The right one was fine – a little dirty and with few scratches, nothing out of the norm. She held it up in a very familiar way, with her hand grasping at nothing.  
The left one was similar – also dirty and scratched. But there was a dark hole from which blood was slowly pouring down.

_'I've been shot. Oh God, they shot me.'_ She thought, unnaturally calm. Like she was thinking about her dinner or something equally mundane.  
She wasn't feeling any enormous pain – probably the reason she wasn't freaking out about this as much as she should. Instead she felt a sting, an unpleasant pressure and a wave of heat emanating from her arm. Was it thanks to adrenaline, small bullet caliber or just shock – she didn't care.

She involuntarily started to rewind, as slowly as she could. Her blood, still lazily flowing down her arm while everything around was moving backwards, was bizarre to watch.

She felt something touching the back of her wound and hissed, losing her focus and letting time move forward again. She quickly turned around, just in time to see a part of the wall behind her being chipped off, roughly at the same height that her new wound was.  
Max looked again at the hole in her limb, still astounded.

She was lucky, they later told her. Bullet went clearly through her arm, not even grazing the bone. It hurt for some time – not too much but it was still an unpleasant experience.  
She was also left with a round scar. Sometimes, when she was deep in thought or nervous, she subconsciously rubbed it with her thumb.

\----------

**12.02.2016**

Chloe got out of her car, slamming the door behind her. Dressed in black shirt and black formal trousers she looked really out of place standing near her rusted old truck.  
She also looked cold.

Chloe wasn't sure where exactly she stopped. Not that it mattered – right now she just wanted to get away as far as she could from that cursed town, where nothing ever ends well.

With trembling hands she lit up a cigarette. Right after the funeral she went home, packed her things and rode out of Arcadia Bay. Step-douche could keep the house, for all she cared. She would probably stop to let out some of her feelings on her poor room but she already did that earlier, when she heard about Joyce.  
Besides, she was feeling mostly numb right now anyway.

She had no idea what to do next. She just kept driving but quickly realized that she was heading to LA without even thinking about it. Cursing herself, she decided to stop in some cheap motel and get some rest.  
She had some money, enough to stay alive for a while – since she had basically nobody to go out with or from whom to buy drugs, saving it up wasn't that difficult.

She threw the filter tip on the ground, stomped on it, took her bag out of the car and went through the parking lot.

There was a clearly bored guy at the reception desk, maybe a little older than Chloe. He sent her way a quick glance. “Yes, we do have vacant rooms. $30 for a night.” He mumbled, probably saying this sentence for the fifth time today.

“Sure, I'll take it.” She searched her pockets for her wallet. “One question though, where are we? I mean, what city?” She asked, not concerned about the fact that it probably was a strange question.  
“Sausalito. Near San Francisco.” He answered, apparently not bothered or even surprised by her words.  
_'San Francisco, huh?'_ After checking in she took her bag and went up the stairs, searching for her room. Her parents spent there some time before Chloe was born. She remembered that they talked about it, she even saw some photos.  
She ignored a sudden sting that reached her heart and put the key in the lock.

 

_When shall we meet again_  
_I can't foresee_  
_That silenced path, till then_  
_Where you will be_  
  
_Forever and a Day - Daine Lakaien_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here we are. These chapters are getting longer and longer, sorry.  
> And again, I'm not too sure about this one.  
> I already have a few more written – I just need to translate them - and let me just say, if you didn't like this then you will HATE the next one.  
> Take care and once more, thank you all for your support and sorry for any mistakes.


	4. Scared to meet yourself further on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time to push the story forward.  
> A little more gore in this one but not much.

_Sometimes our destiny goes wrong_  
_For someone like you, and those who're among you_  
_Everything fades, into oblivion_  
_Branded by failure_

 

  
**14.08.2017 – 4 days later**

She heard once that her way of eating apples was strange. Instead of eating around the core she always ate the whole fruit, leaving only the stalk on which the apple was once hanging from.  
She threw it in the general direction of the trash can, missing by a remarkable distance.  
Moments later the same thing happened with a crumpled piece of paper. It bounced off the wall, nowhere near the trash can, and landed on the floor, right next to all the other torn pages she already sent flying earlier.

Irritated, she wiped the sticky remains of her last meal on her pants and reached for another sheet of paper. Ever since she started writing instead of working in the evenings she was feeling a little better. Finally she felt something more than tiredness.  
It was a shame that this 'something more' she was experiencing was mostly aggravation.  
But, it was still better than nothing. Baby steps.

When she started writing this letter she had no clue how to even begin. All of her opening lines were... Inappropriate, she felt. She isn't going to start with 'Hey, how are you? Still alive? Do you even remember who I am?'. Ridiculous.

Chloe muttered something inaudible under her breath and threw her pen on the table. She laid down on her couch, burying her face in the worn fabric. There was another big problem – she couldn't keep herself from pouring all the bitterness she felt onto the paper. She always started in a neutral tone, only to find out after two paragraphs that she began to accuse Max of all that was wrong in the world.  
Well, not literally, but it sounded like she was still angry.

“I was never good at writing.” She stated to the empty room, opening her eyes and turning her head just in time to see a well-dressed woman interviewing some big CEO. “Maybe I should record something instead or some shit.”

Chloe reluctantly got up from her couch and grabbed the remote. Maybe tomorrow she will be more creative. One or two days of delay couldn't hurt.  
She turned off the TV before they could show the news from the war front.

\----------

“Ben, get down!” She shouted, ignoring the nausea she suddenly felt and trying to think clearly. Her eyes were darting from side to side, face was pale and a couple of loose strands of hair were sticked to her wet forehead.  
Ben didn't even think about it – he instantly hunkered down, saving himself from a bullet which, in different timeline, pierced his cheek and shattered his palate, definitely ending his career as a war reporter.

Max lowered down her hand, panting. She felt an increasing pressure in her head and knew that she will soon feel the metallic taste of blood in her throat and on her lips, along with the excruciating headache. She rewound 28 times (29? 30?) in the last minute and oh boy, was she feeling the strain of that now. It wouldn't be so exhausting if she could focus more – but right now, with bullets flying around? She was too scared, barely holding up.

Not to mention the occasional sight of her friends, lying near with shocked expressions on their bereft of life faces.  
And even once 'bereft' of an eye.

Max didn't even notice that she screamed weakly, desperately rising her hand up and rewinding yet again. By doing so she created another sharp needle in her brain that made her whine quietly.  
She will probably curse herself later that she didn't look away – seeing an eye grotesquely making it's way into the eye socket, slowly recomposing itself was a nightmare fuel for sure.

To be honest, everything going on around her was a nightmare fuel. Death wherever you looked, buildings exploding, screams and wailings that, from time to time, broke through the noise of constant firing...  
Well, she wasn't bored anymore, that's for sure.

Max tried to focus only on her friends right now. She felt exhausted, despite the amounts of adrenaline in her bloodstream, was sore and barely conscious but she was not going to let them die in this hell, not today. Not after last time, after Mark and all those innocent civilians caught in the middle of this fight.  
They will not share their fates with Ben from the alternate timeline, not a chance.

Finally, the last shot sounded and everything went still. No more gunshots or explosions, only the wailing remained. It took a couple of minutes, 10 tops, but Max felt like it was going on for hours – and it was not because she kept rewinding the same minutes over and over.  
She wasn't even sure why everything ended. They killed everybody? Enemy retreated? It didn't matter.

She didn't notice Ben, now carefully peeking over his cover and taking photos. She didn't even see Aaron, kneeling near her and asking her something.  
She overdid it this time. Her headache was growing and a part of her shirt directly under her chin was getting more and more bloodier. It didn't take her much longer to pass out.

\----------

She woke up sometime later, feeling a sharp pain. Like someone suddenly hit her back.  
Which was strange because she was currently lying on it.

Feeling confused, she opened her eyes and quickly regretted that. Bright light attacked her face, forcing her to close her eyelids again with a quiet hiss. _'Okay, let's try that again. Carefully.'_ She thought, trying to force her mind to work again. Her headache was gone, like always when she lost her consciousness after overusing her powers – she just felt like someone poured a ton of mud into her brain, causing it to work very slowly. Like it was sinking deeper and deeper into some sort of slumber.  
Cthulhu would be probably mad that someone was copying his technique of sleeping.

Max tried opening her eyes again, this time with better results. She was lying on the backseats of one of the MRAPs they rarely used. Sunbeams, entering the vehicle through a thing commonly called a 'window', were the source of her earlier discomfort. Who would have guessed.  
She was probably awaken by a bigger bump in the road or something similar.

She lifted herself a little to get away from the sun, instantly feeling unpleasant stickiness on her chest that she was not aware of till now. She looked down and saw an enormous, partially dried reddish stain on her shirt.

Max suppressed a sting of fear that appeared in her still not exactly working brain. She did not remember being shot and she didn't feel any pain so it all had to be from her nosebleed.

She touched her face, checking if there was also blood there, but found nothing. Guys must have wiped it out when they were helping her.  
Still, the size of this stain was... Alarming. No wonder that she passed out.

“Well, look who is finally up.” A calm voice caught her attention. She took her gaze off her shirt and met a pair of deep, green eyes staring at her with care from the front seat. “How are you feeling?” Aaron asked concerned but with a bright smile.  
She smiled a little. She couldn't help it.

She also tried to speak but the only sound that came out of her mouth was a quiet grunt. Max closed her mouth, swallowed with difficulty and tried again. “Better now, thanks.” She reassured, in the meantime reaching for a bottle of water that Aaron silently offered her.  
She took a small sip of lukewarm liquid. She couldn't remember when was the last time she had something cold to drink.

“You should really do something about those nosebleeds, they are getting worse. Talk with Rob when we get back to the base or something, he can help.” He looked over at the man sitting beside him. “He is still there, isn't he?”  
The only response he got was an affirmative mumble and a little nod. Rick was never really talkative, especially when he was doing something. Like driving.

“I know, I know. I will.” Max reassured him, glad that he wasn't looking at her at that moment. Of course she won't do it – there was nothing to talk about. She was pushing her powers too much, that was it. How was she supposed to tell that to a doctor and not sound like a crazy person? 'Oh hey, don't worry, I was just rewinding time a little too much, no big deal.'

Aaron nodded and turned around, scanning the road ahead of them. Max heard the rest of the group talking quietly further in the back of the truck and decided not to interrupt them – she wasn't keen on talking right now either way.

She looked through the window, seeing only sand. There was nothing else to observe, even the sky was free of any clouds. _'This would be the easiest game of 'I spy' ever.'_ She thought, not entirely sure why something like that would even bother her right now. Apparently her mind was still trying to wake up.

She didn't want to think about anything serious like her health or powers, that much she was sure of. She was scared of rewinding after that last time, especially in a moving car. She never tested it – she didn't want to do it alone and couldn't think of a good explanation for the possible weird outcomes.  
Because how could she even begin to explain some crazy shit? Why she was suddenly a few yards in front of the car? Or what if she let go of her powers for some reason and get stuck _in_ the car? Would she be just cut apart? Or would she become one with the vehicle?

She sighed. It didn't matter, she wasn't going to use her powers for a day at least anyway. She had to recover first if she didn't want to cause another nosebleed, headache or something worse.

“We are going back to base?” She asked after a while, already sure of the answer. There was nowhere else to go – the only time they were using this truck (and that was a rare occurrence) was when they were riding to or out of the base.  
And apparently now, after that attack, they were done with their assignment, whatever it was. Max didn't really know any details – she was just traveling with them as a journalist and that meant that she was still a civilian. A very lucky and privileged civilian but still, every detail was usually classified. She didn't mind. As long as they allowed her to tag along and take photos she was content.

“Yeah, that's the plan.” Aaron said, looking at her in the rear mirror. He smiled and winked, probably to ensure her that everything was fine.  
Max relaxed a little. Good. It meant that she will have some time to rest and ma...

A whistling sound interrupted her thoughts. Baffled, she only had time to quickly glance at Aaron's still smiling face before a loud bang stunned her for a moment and something sharp embedded itself in her side.  
As soon as she heard the first sound she unconsciously lifted up her hand – and that probably saved her life. Still, she wasn't fast enough and because of that she was now painfully feeling how something was being ripped out of her side as she started to rewind.  
It was a miracle that she managed to not let go of her powers.

If last time she felt a needle in her brain then this time someone was shoving a fucking ice pick into her head. She also instantly felt blood pouring down from her nose, quickly reaching her lips.

She looked around, trying to determine what happened. IED? Mine? No, they were in a MRAP, they should be more or less fine if it was either of those. What else then?

She was lucky that she was sitting on the right side of the car. The left part of the truck was slowly reforming in front of her eyes, as well as part of the roof. Big chunks of upholstery and metal were slowly flying back to once more take place in their original positions. At least she now knew what hit her side.  
It seemed like the point of impact was just beside her, on the top of the car.

But right now she had a bigger problem, one that she noticed almost immediately  – she was slowly exiting the car in the most abnormal way she possibly could. The truck was going back, leaving her suspended in the air.  
Well, almost suspended. Without a chair under her she began to slowly float down, onto the sand beneath her.  
Good to know that her power was fucking up the gravity, in case if she ever wanted to jump down from a skyscraper while rewinding.

Soon the front seat with Aaron in it passed through her, as well as the front window and the car hood and suddenly she was outside, levitating in the middle of the desert.

She couldn't keep rewinding for much longer. She felt how her mind was giving up, too tired to maintain something like this. Not after all that happened not so long ago.  
Closing her eyes she pushed harder, rewinding as far and quick as she could, praying that she wouldn't pass out just yet.

When she finally gave up and lowered her hand she felt something tugging her down and almost instantly landed on her knees, burying them in hot sand. Yelping, she turned her head, just in time to see a truck that she rewound, quickly approaching her. The sight of a big bumper heading straight for her head was terrifying, to say at least.

With the last bits of strength left in her body, right now enhanced with a new wave of adrenaline, she desperately moved to her right, not wanting to end up as a roadkill.

Rick saw something seemingly appearing out of thin air in front of his truck and reflexly steered to the left, dooming his and saving Max's life in two ways.  
Firstly, by not running over her lying body.  
Secondly, by unawarely planting himself right under the already incoming explosive shell. It hit near the front seats instead of the middle of the truck, almost instantly killing Rick and Aaron on the spot. That way he also basically shielded her body in the only way he could right now.  
Max, hiding her face in the sand, felt a hellishly hot wave hitting her and something piercing her back but she was too tired to do something before she finally passed out.

 

_Every step we take on this road_  
_Forcing us to break our boundaries_  
_Nothing left to say, fade away_  
_Everything I do won't change, oh no_  
  
_The Shimmering – Beseech_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...  
>  I don't know what to say about this one so let me just tell you, the moment when the two of them are finally meeting is already written. It won't be 'very soon' but 'soon'. And that means that there will finally be space for a little fluff, which I'm eager to write after all those angsty chapters.  
> Thank you for enduring it with me and take care <3


	5. I'm held together by string

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some descriptions of wounds below. Nothing really graphic.  
> And even more angst. But that is about to change a little in the near future.

_What they say is true_  
_It is a dirty blue_  
_This color around you_

  
  
**18.08.2017 – 4 days later**

“You've been very lucky, miss Caulfield.”

_'No. That is not true. It was not luck.'_ What _was_ lucky, however, was the fact that they got attacked fairly close to the base. She didn't have to wait for too long for someone to come to help them.  
It was also a worrisome thing – everyone thought that area was secure so that kind of assault, so close to the base... Concerning.

Not that Max cared right now. Exactly 47 hours passed since she woke up in a sterile, bright, white room, not really sure if she was in a nightmare or if she finally went crazy.

46 hours ago doctors told her that they did everything they could but her damage, although luckily not life threating, was extensive. Scars will form in places where sharp shrapnel pieces of metal pierced her skin, not to mention the part on her back where a big chunk of heated steel basically embedded itself, melting her shirt and flesh into one. If not for the amount of drugs they were pumping into her system she would probably be in agonizing pain.  
They also told her that she shouldn't expect for the feeling in her hand or shoulder blade to come back. Maybe she will never recover full mobility in her fingers either.

44 hours ago she learned that they managed to rescue only her and Ben. He was still in critical condition and they reassured her that they were doing what they could but it was painfully obvious that they were not hopeful.

40 hours have passed since she talked with her parents on the phone and calmed them down. Mom was panicking and crying, not really listening to Max's assurances that she was fine.  
It was a difficult conversation.

21 hours ago doctors told her that Ben died.  
20 hours and 59 minutes passed since Max stopped caring about anything.

“Really lucky, in fact, that you got thrown out of the car. If not for that we wouldn't be talking right now.” A man, probably older than her father, was standing near her bed, examining a clip pad in his hands. He didn't even bother to look at her while he was talking. “However you managed to do that.”  
Max didn't respond. She had enough of lying, of saying that she can't remember anything from before the attack.

The doctor cleared his throat, not really bothered by the lack of reaction. Apparently he was fine with holding a monologue. “Anyway, we shouldn't keep you here for too long. We can't do much more for you, miss Caulfield, and this facility isn't really suited for long-term patients. As long as you take care of dressings and remember to rest you should be fine. In a week please schedule a visit with your family doctor for a check up and to remove the sutures. Also you will need analgesics – as I said earlier, that third-degree burn on your back will... Not be a pleasant thing for you to endure in the few upcoming weeks, even considering the nerve damage. Lucky, that you didn't need a skin graft... But, in any case, if you were to experience anything alarming, do not hesitate to go to the hospital.” He lifted one of the pages he was looking at, quickly glancing over the one beneath it. “You are really lucky, miss Caulfield.”

Again, he got no response from her. Her mind was blank. She understood what he was talking about, she just couldn't force herself to react in any meaningful way, to give a shit.

A short moment later she was left alone in this repulsively sterile room, abandoned with only her meaningless thoughts as companions.

\----------

“What the hell do you mean that you can't tell me that?!” Chloe's voice, much higher and louder than usually, was boiling with rage that was excellently masking the fear and panic she was trying to repress for now.  
“I'm not asking for fucking nuclear codes for God's sake!”

Annoyingly calm and firm voice came out of the speaker. “I'm sorry, we do not provide such information by phone, even for the immediate family. You can submit an official ap-”  
Chloe's grip on her phone tightened, making the plastic parts crack audibly in protest. “I'm not going to submit any fucking applications, I just want to know if she is alive!”

“I'm really sorry but...” Chloe, with an angry snarl, moved the phone away from her ear and in one fluid move sent it flying through the room. The bright screen met with her wooden closet, almost instantly covering itself with cracks and blacking out.

“Shit... Fucking shit goddamnit!” She basically roared, throwing her fist at the nearest wall, ignoring the pain that wandered through her arm.

She didn't know much, the news were very vague. Chloe only heard that one of the units stationed in Israel was hit in an attack on a territory that the army considered safe till now – and only because of that they covered it at all. Normally she wouldn't be so concerned - she almost didn't even hear about it since she was showering at the time they were talking about it in the news. She stepped out of her bathroom just in time to hear the ending bit, about how 'the two reporters that were following the unit at the time of the attack were in critical condition.'  
This was probably the only sentence that could cause Chloe's mind to instantly panic.

She watched the reportage again on the Internet but it didn't provide much more – only that it happened in Israel and that the name of one of the reporters was, in fact, Caulfield. After many more fruitless searches she decided to find any number or mail address she could reach for more information.  
Well, as you can guess after looking at her phone, it didn't work. Today, 4 days after the initial accident, she tried the last number she had.

Chloe leaned on the wall and slowly slided down, till her knees reached the floor. She closed her eyes, trying to calm herself. _'It means nothing. 'Critical condition', not 'dead condition'.'  
_ A needle of fear thrusted in her heart wouldn't go away. She felt strangely worried since she postponed writing that letter, like she was making a big mistake. She had a premonition, you could say.

She tried to think. What else she could do? She didn't have Max's number, she lost it shortly after Rachel moved away – in a drunken fit Chloe threw her phone from the lighthouse, right into the water. And even if she had it then probably brunette had already a different number... A decade is a long time.  
She couldn't find any Caulfield on the Internet - no Facebook or even a stupid Instagram account. _'Seriously, what kind of photographer didn't have an Instagram page, even an empty one? Come on, is she a hipster or something_?'  
She also didn't know anybody that could provide her with any form of contact, no mutual friends.

Chloe slowly inhaled, running her hand through her messed up hair. She hated this feeling of helplessness, this weakness. For the majority of her teen and now adult life she had to be strong, ready for more losses and disappointments. Everyone was abandoning her, no one stayed.  
That's why right now, when there was finally a small chance that she could reclaim someone she previously lost...

Chloe hid her face in her palms. She had no idea what to do now.  
An unfinished, forgotten for now letter was patiently lying on the table in the adjacent room. It almost seemed like it was waiting for her to calm down and leave her room, only to brutally remind her of it's existence – a metaphor of her now crushed hope.

\----------

**21.08.2017 – three days later**

Orange light shining through the uncovered windows caused her apartment to look... Odd. The practically unused furniture, coated in a thick layer of dust, were illuminated in a strange, almost alien way. Like it didn't belong here.  
Especially compared to the boxes neatly stacked in the corner, full of her private stuff.

With hesitation Max closed the door behind her, carelessly dropping her bag on the wooden floor. Right now she was standing in a big, completely bereft of soul living room. Grey walls were bare, lacking even a simple stupid calendar or picture, shelfs were empty, windows were missing curtains. The leather couch, placed in front of a pale wall where the TV was probably supposed to be, looked borderline ridiculous. Max didn't really care for television – she was only interested in movies and that she could watch on her laptop if she really wanted.  
Not that she had much time to do so in the last couple of years.

A long kitchen island was separating the living room from a row of countertops, a fridge and a stove. Someone, probably her parents, placed some fruit baskets on top of it – they looked depressing when they were empty.

Two identical doors were welcoming her from the other side of the room. One was leading to her bedroom, the other to the bathroom. Ignoring both of them completely, Max slowly walked to the remaining glass door on her right. She could see a beautiful panorama of San Francisco behind them – living on the 7th floor had some advantages.

She stepped out on the balcony, carefully placing her hands on the metal railing. A warm gust of wind brushed her hair and forced itself under her clothes to touch the sensitive skin underneath. From here the city looked almost magical, especially during this golden hour. A few months ago Max would probably snap a photo of it without even thinking.

The sun almost disappeared behind the horizon when she finally decided to go back inside. She walked to the bathroom, dragging her feet on the way.  
Max turned the light on and, for the first time since the attack, looked into the mirror hanged on the wall. A white gauze plastered onto her temple was standing out the most, especially against her brown hair and numerous freckles. Her eyes almost looked as if they were just two empty dots, lazily drawn by a slacking painter that didn't care enough to make them stand out in any way.

Her left cheek looked like if someone threw a fistful of glass shards into it.  
A multitude of small scratches, some of them deeper that the others, were marking her skin in an ugliest way possible. Another stroke of luck, as they told her numerous times – most of them won't leave scars. Maybe two or three but nothing she couldn't easily hide under some makeup.

She lifted her hand, running her fingers through the cut skin. She was expecting to feel uneven canyons beneath her fingertips – instead she felt nothing but a small tingling on her cheek. It was easy to forget that her sense of touch in that hand was gone.

Max felt a sudden crushing pressure in her throat and closed her eyes to calm herself. She exhaled through her nose in a jerky, uneven way that made her desire to cry even bigger.  
In a quick, desperate move she took off her shirt, ignoring the instant surge of pain it caused in her back and side and opened her eyes, not exactly prepared for the view she was about to experience.

Her side looked horrendous. Everywhere you looked you could see either stitches, bandages or cuts that were not deep enough to justify being sutured. Scabs that formed over them were unappealing, dark and uneven. But it was yet another 'stroke of luck' that nothing really serious happened to her. She could easily had her lung or spine pierced instead of only suffering from bruised ribs and some cuts. Her left arm and hand looked similar but here the damage was more permanent - notably the nerve damage that prevented her from feeling anything she held between her fingers. She also had trouble with performing more precise tasks.

On the small patch between her neck and arm she could see another bandage, curving over to her back. She could feel it under her shirt, almost hearing how it was rubbing against the soft material with her every movement. She was dreading the moment when she would have to change it – it hurt, not as much as she thought thanks to yet more damaged nerves, but still. She couldn't lay down on her back or ever lean on the wall without feeling pain.  
_'So lucky, for sure!'_

She sat on the edge of her bathtub. She shouldn't be so lucky – it was really some dumb, stupid fortune that she was alive, although she shouldn't be.  
She should right now be dead, laying in a cold morgue with the others. Like Ben, Rick, Aaron...

Her thoughts wandered to Aaron's wife. How her world probably fell apart a few days ago, without any real warning, in a brutal and unfair way.  
And it was all because of Max.  
She truly believed that it was all her fault.

Maybe they would be alive if she didn't rewind to basically save herself. She felt like she sacrificed them for her own life and honestly? Right now it didn't seem like a great deal. It was exactly the thing she wanted to prevent with her powers, not cause.

She started crying, for the first time since she woke up in hospital. At first quietly, embarrassed, like she was doing something she was not supposed to do. All of the feelings that she tried to keep locked behind a dam now were starting to finally overflow it. Sadness, grief, anger and most of all guilt and shame – everything hit her at once and she was powerless to stop it.

Max was basically wailing in her bathroom, in this empty and unfamiliar house.

\----------

“You sure you will manage?” Chloe glanced at the bearded man standing in front of her, really grateful for the way he formulated his question. If even one more person asked her if she 'was fine' she would definitely hit him.

“Yeah, thanks Carl. I just need some time.” She said while getting in her car. They were standing in the parking lot, casting long shadows on the tattoo shop behind them.

“No problem. Call me when you want to come back.”  
She nodded, eager to already get moving. As much as she just wanted to leave everything and drive she had some obligations.  
She also had to buy a new phone and a GPS.

She turned the small device on and was presented with an accurate map of her current position. She quickly typed in her destination – Seattle, Washington. After a short while GPS showed her the most optimal route and estimated drive time – 13 hours. So she should get there sometime around 7am.

She couldn't just sit in her room. The last couple of days were excruciating and she was fed up with waiting for any information. She had to do something, anything, even something desperate.

She didn't have any contact information, or so she thought – she remembered that she got one or two letters from Max when she moved out. She still had them, buried deep in her journal that she stopped using after meeting Rachel. She never got rid of it for some reason and, as it turns out, it was the best decision she ever made.

After some digging she managed to find them and learned the address. And since she was not really keen on writing and wanted to know instantly what was going on she didn't really have any choice but to go and pay a visit to the Caulfield family.  
What more she had to lose?

 

_You curled up warm_  
_In your own little corner of Sodom_  
_Did you agree to believe_  
_This fall has no bottom_  
  
_Dirty blue - Wovenhand_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be much longer than this one and with the upcoming release of BTS EP2 I'm kinda afraid that I won't be able to publish it in 3 days, like I've been doing so far - translating takes so much more time than writing, ugh. Not to mention that Shadow of War and South Park are still waiting in my library for me, not to mention life related stuff :| But yeah, I will try my best.  
> Especially since it's the chapter in which they finally meet.  
> And also, let me say, I'm so happy for your continuous, growing support and kind words - you guys are really great.  
> Take care!


	6. I won't go back again with a dry eye

_Let me think about it, for a minute_  
_There was a forest fire burning, somewhere_  
_There was war_  
_There were pictures of you, from the day before_

 

**22.08.2017 – one day later**

“I... I'm sorry, what?” Chloe stared at the woman sitting across from her, utterly confused. The look on her face was so stupid that she would feel pure shame and anger if someone were to took a picture of it right now.

“Max is in San Francisco. Since yesterday.” Vanessa repeated, glancing at Chloe with tired but curious eyes. It was obvious that she wasn't sleeping well.

_'You've got to be fucking kidding me.'_ Chloe leaned back in her chair and snorted quietly with laughter. _'Of course she is there. Where else could she be if not right under my nose?'  
_ She felt such relief that for a moment she was certain she was going to slide off the chair, right onto the kitchen floor.

“Chloe, are you alright?” She opened her eyes upon hearing her name, not even sure when she closed them.  
“Yes, Mrs. Caulfield.” She was better than 'alright'. Max was alive and so close that she was practically at Chloe's fingertips. “Yes, I'm just happy. I was worried about Max.” She squeezed the cup of hot coffee placed before her, warming her hands.

It was so long since she felt so... Light. Like she just got rid of a big boulder that was crushing her lungs. Even if she was still tired after that trip she took not long ago.

Vanessa smiled weakly. “Just, Chloe... Max has been through a lot.” She stated, observing her reaction. “She is not the same girl you remember. A lot of stuff happened to her out there.”

Chloe just nodded, not wanting to interrupt. She was aware of this, she saw how Max looked on TV and photos. It was so obvious that she 'has been through a lot'.

Vanessa continued. “Her last accident... Was bad. Really bad. A man contacted us when she was still unconscious to inform us of her situation. He kept repeating how lucky she was and that she should be fine. Max was the only one who survived.” She paused, glancing at the window with a pensive look. Chloe was still silent, now wanting even less to interrupt.

“Max won't talk about it, she repeats that she's fine even though she isn't. She never wanted to speak about what happened to her on her journeys. We knew that she was shot only because one day we saw her scar.”  
Vanessa looked back at Chloe. “What I mean by that, be careful if... _When_ you meet her.” She corrected herself, even if a little hesitantly. “Don't walk on eggshells around her, that's not what I'm getting at, Max is a strong woman. Just...” She sighed, apparently deprived of appropriate words.

Chloe shifted a little on her chair, suddenly feeling nervous when she realized what Vanessa was politely trying to say. _'She is worried. She doesn't want me to be around Max right now.'_

Her good mood vanished somewhere just like that, eagerly replaced by increasing uncertainty. Was Max in such a bad place that her mother was worried about the two of them meeting again?

_'Well, of course she is concerned about her only child.'_ Also, Chloe was not really a shining example of... Anything good. Tired as hell, with visible tattoos, dyed blue hair, punk attire and a big truck parked right outside their window. She was so different from her 14 year old self, practically a walking unknown.

“Mrs. Caulfield, I'm not going to hurt Max.” She finally answered, straightening herself on the chair. She tried to make her voice calm and sincere, despite her nervousness. “I won't do anything bad to her. And if she doesn't want me in her life I will go away.” She assured, knowing perfectly that she will have problems with keeping this particular promise.

Vanessa smiled, baffling Chloe a little with this gesture. “I know that you won't hurt her on purpose.” She reached for a notebook and ripped a page, quickly scribbling something on it. Moments later she handed it to Chloe. “I really hope you will get along again. Max always regretted that she didn't keep in contact with you.” She added when Chloe was examining the small and elegant writings.  
An address and a cell number. So little yet so much.

\----------

**25.08.2017 – three days later**

_'Yea, okay. You can do this. This is easy, this is nothing in comparison.'_ She lifted her hand again only to back off a second later.  
She breathed in slowly, calming herself. _'Okay, this time. Easy.'  
_ Hand up, hand down.

_'Jesus Christ, I'm hopeless.'_ She chuckled, not sure if she should cry or laugh at her own attempts. Now, when Max was literally so close, why is she hesitating? It was pathetic enough that it took her so many days to even come here. And now this stupid standing in front of her door? _'Get a fucking grip Price.'_

“Yeah, sure. No more fucking around.” She muttered to herself, quickly raising her hand yet again and pressing the doorbell before she could back out.

Boring, a little to happy sounding melody ringed in the apartment. Chloe waited for a few seconds.  
She pressed it again, only convincing herself more that this tune was awful.  
15 seconds later she was still waiting.

“Ok, time's up.” She banged her fist on the door, not wanting to bother with that horrendous doorbell ever again. Chloe was never a very patient person.

“Max! I know you are there!” Well, she didn't, she was bluffing. Big deal, lock her up. “It's me, Chloe!” She added like it was an obvious, normal thing for her to even be here. Like, yeah, they didn't see each other for years, sure, but why wouldn't she just show up at her doorstep in some random city they never talked about?

But apparently that didn't work either. She was about to knock again with determination when she heard a quiet clicking noise and suddenly there was no door to bang on.

_'Oh God, she is so small.'_   Was Chloe's first stupid thought when she looked at the woman standing in front of her.  
For a few long second both of them looked ridiculous.

Chloe, with her hand still in the air ready to knock, with lips parted and a look on her face that was expressing... Something, that's for sure. A strange mix between impatient nervousness and surprised awe? Like she was expecting to see something different. A dinosaur, for example.

Max, on the other hand, although shocked even more than Chloe, was showing much less expression – her face was almost blank, only her eyes were big and surprised. Her clothes were something that was catching the eye the most: she was wearing way too big pajamas that were covering most of her body. Only her head was visible, along with slowly healing scratches on her cheek that wandered lower, quickly disappearing from view under the collar.

“Chloe?” Max broke the silence first with her hoarse voice.  
And it was all that Chloe needed in that moment.

She lowered her hand, starting to straighten out her arms for a second, like she was going for a hug but decided against it almost instantly. She still remembered Vanessa's words and now saw how _bad_ Max was looking in person. Even if she wanted to embrace brunette with every part of her body it was not the right moment.

“Max, oh my God.” She said instead, smiling with pure relief. To know that she was fine was one thing but to actually see her, after so many years?  
“Jesus, Chloe, how are you here?” Apparently Max couldn't believe her eyes because she was still looking at her with this surprised expression.  
“That's how you welcome an old friend? Come on, let's talk inside.” Chloe was still grinning, unable to stop herself from doing so. All the resentment she felt towards Max disappeared in the past couple of weeks. However strange it was, right now she was ready to do anything for that small person in front of her.  
It seems that this is what happens when you worry about someone for such a long time.

But Max wasn't so sure about this. She stood for a couple of seconds, with Chloe's words ringing in her ears, before she finally moved and let her into the apartment.

Chloe quickly looked around. A lot of boxes piled near the wall, lights turned off, clothes carelessly thrown on the floor...  
“Chloe, what are you doing here?” With a quiet 'hmmm?' she turned around, meeting with Max's tired eyes. Only now she noticed that they were red and a little puffy, highlighted with dark circles that formed under them.  
Her smile eased a little.

“Dude, I'm living in San Francisco. I moved here more than a year ago.” She leaned on the couch, crossing her arms on her chest.  
“No, what are you doing _here_ , in my home?” Max specified, slowly closing the front door.

“I've... Been worried.” She said, not attempting to lie. Why would she now? “I heard about your work a couple of months ago on TV, then I heard about the attack...” She sighed quietly. Her smile was completely gone. “Look Max, I know that we parted in not really a happy way and it has been years since we last talked but fuck that. I was seriously worried.” She sighed, not really sure how the brunette would react.

At first she didn't say anything. Max was seriously lost in all this. First she gets super powers, then out of the blue Chloe starts to occupy her thoughts and dreams and now she is in her apartment, just like that? In this specific moment in her life, when she was barely existing?  
She really didn't know what to think of this at all.

“I...” She started, feeling how she was about to cry once more. She sighed and made her way past Chloe, onto the open balcony. She didn't want her to see her face right now. “It's not the best time to rekindle old friendships, Chloe.” She finished, stopping near the glass door. She was holding her arm, not able to cross them comfortably on her chest without feeling pain. She was absent-mindedly rubbing the not-so-old circular scar.

Chloe was aware that this situation was a possibility, she even promised she would leave Max alone in that case.  
But she was not at all prepared for it. She didn't except Max to actually rebuff her.

“Max... I went to Seattle. Spoke with your mother.” She stated, moving away from the couch and taking a few careful steps in her direction. Only now, when brunette was standing in the orange rays casted by the sunset, Chloe could see how sickly thin she looked. Light was making her t-shirt almost see-through, basically highlighting the shape of her upper body. “Listen-”

“You met with my parents?” A sudden shift in her voice forced Chloe to stop and shut her mouth almost instantly. Max rapidly turned around, locking their eyes. To say that she was angry was an understatement.

“Of course.” She practically growled. “Of course it's all about this again. And they dragged _you_ into this? Seriously, give me a break. Why won't you all just leave me alone?!”  
“What the fuck? Max, I don't...” Chloe, startled and confused, tried to cut in.

“Is it really so hard to understand that I don't need all this?! I'm _fine_ , everything is fine, I don't want to talk about it because there is _nothing_ to talk about!” She took a few steps clenching her fists, quickly shortening the distance between them. Her eyes were watery but she wasn't quite crying yet.

“You can go back to my parents and tell them to leave me the fuck alone.” She hissed, standing right in front of Chloe, persistently keeping her eyes focused on her still surprised and perplexed face. She had to look up to do so. “Everything. Is. Alright.” She repeated, grabbing the front of Chloe's shirt in the process. “I don't need any help, I don't, it's pointless, not worth it, I fucked up, I'm not...” The rest of her words drowned in Chloe's chest when Max buried her face in the soft fabric, finally starting to cry.

Now even more confused, but also a little grateful for this turn of events, Chloe carefully wrapped her arm around the shaking girl, quietly muttering a calming mantra into her hair.  
_'Well, so much for first impressions.'_

\----------

**26.08.2017 – a couple of hours later**

Chloe slept in uncomfortable places before – she slept in her car, on windowsill, on her desk at work, in the garage, in her closet, on other people, in bushes, once on the roof... She did questionable things in her past.

And that's why now, practically bent over the armchair, with her head hanging upside down she wasn't really feeling any enormous discomfort. She was a little stiff and her neck will probably hurt a little but she was at least warm and lying on something soft.

She opened her eyes, sleepily looking at blank wall in front of her. _'Wait, why am I ever sleeping on a chair?'_ She forced her body to sit up, reluctantly welcoming the mild pain that burst in her rigid muscles.

She looked around, quickly stopping on the small shape curled on the couch under the blanket. Even though Chloe could only she the back of her head she could hear that Max was sleeping calmly – a steady, regular breathing noise was the only thing disturbing the silence.

Chloe rubbed her eyes, remembering yesterday's events. Not much else happened after Max freaked out on her – whatever Chloe tried to do beside holding her and mumbling nonsense had absolutely no effect on brunette. She did manage to force Max to sit on the couch so that was something.

After a while her crying transformed into sobbing, quieter and quieter. She didn't even notice when Max had fallen asleep on her. _'She had to be hella tired and drained.'_

Chloe was not really sure what to do after that. She was not leaving her here alone, not a chance. After a long while she escaped from under Max's weight, slowly letting her lie on the couch. She thought about moving her to the bed but decided against it – she apparently needed to sleep, it was wise to just let her do that without interruptions.

What she did instead was finding a blanket and covering her carefully with it. August was just ending and nights were still warmish but a light blanket was nice to have anyway.

After that... She had no clue what to do with herself.  
She started browsing the Internet on her new phone till she felt tired and went to sleep, hours later.

Feeling her stomach growling she reached for her phone and checked the time. 9:14.  
She slowly got up and quietly went to the kitchen to make some coffee.

She quickly encountered a slight problem – cupboards were empty. No coffee, tea, sugar, pasta, rice... Nothing.  
A little confused she opened the fridge. It was a little better – she found some butter, a half full bottle of milk (expired, she checked) and a salad that probably was made around the time when Brutus was betraying the Caesar.

“What is she even eating?” She asked herself, closing the fridge.  
“Mostly takeout.” A shy voice reached her ears, causing her to turn rapidly around, like she was caught doing something she was not supposed to be doing.

Max was sitting on the couch, looking at her. She must have been doing so for a while because there was no trace of sleepiness on her face.  
“Yea, that we have in common. Sorry, I was trying to make some coffee.” She carefully apologized, moving back to the armchair on which she was sleeping.

Max lethargically waved her hand, dismissing her apologies. “No, I am sorry. For yesterday. I'm not really... _Friendly_ recently.” She murmured, glancing away. “You didn't have to stay.” She added, still not looking at Chloe.

“Dude, it's fine. You needed that, you've been through a lot I bet.” She once more scanned the living room. An idea, a stupid and risky one, popped in her head. “Anyway, get up. We're leaving.”

Upon hearing that she looked again at Chloe. “What?” Max asked with surprise clearly painted across her face.  
“I'm not stuttering, am I? Get up. Wash, change, whatever you want to do and pack some clothes and things. I'm taking you to my house.” She explained, crossing her arms once again, expectantly staring at her.

Max looked now more nervous than stunned. “Chloe, it's not the best id-”  
“Come on Max, don't give me that. There is no way in hell I'm leaving you here alone, not after yesterday. I can promise you that I'm going to stay here for as long as it will take for you to agree, scout's honor.” She reached into her pocket, pulling out a wrinkled pack of cigarettes and made her way to the balcony.

“Chloe, you never were a scout.” She heard from behind, too preoccupied with getting her lighter to work to turn around.  
_'Like you would know.'_ She thought, putting the cigarette in her mouth to stop these words from getting out of it. “No, but I'm stubborn.” She said instead after a short while, leaning on the railing and puffing out smoke. Since she couldn't make any coffee, nicotine had to do for now.

When she didn't hear any confirmation that Max was going to listen to her, she turned away from the stunning panorama of the city and threw brunette an impatient look.

“Look, it's not like you think it is. Your parents didn't send me here, _I_ wanted to come. You really think that I would just show up again if your mother asked me to, after how you practically abandoned me? Hell, she didn't even want me to interfere with your life right now.” She put out the cigarette on the railing, happy that Max was finally paying attention to what she had to say. “I promised her to be gentle but for fuck's sake Max, you look awful. I was seriously worried after I saw how you looked on the TV, like a zombie. I wasn't sleeping at night because of you, damn it.” She added, the last sentence noticeable quieter than the rest.

She threw the bum over the railing, not really concerned about littering right now. “So, after yesterday, I really have no desire to let you out of my sight for longer than I absolutely have to. I would propose we stay here but you don't even have anything edible to eat so that's out of question.” She finally stopped talking, looking closely for any signs that she overdid it this time.

Max looked at her in silence. Finally she got up.

\----------

Sluggishly making her way through the hallway, she kept cursing herself in her mind. The ride was awkward – neither of them wanted to talk about the elephant in the room and small talk seemed like a ridiculous idea, given the circumstances.

They stopped near the front door and Chloe put Max's bag (that she insisted on carrying) carefully on the floor, looking for keys in her pockets. When she finally found them she unlocked the door and moved a little to the right, allowing brunette to go through first. “Don't worry about the mess, I can't remember when was the last time I cleaned this place.” She warned, with a smile on her face and reached for the bag before Max could even think about it.

She carefully walked inside. Chloe's place, although smaller than hers but designed in the same way, was much more cozy looking.  
“Make yourself comfortable, I need to take a quick shower.” Chloe declared, seconds later vanishing in the bathroom.

_'Great.'_ Max sighed, still unsure about all this. She sat on the worn couch, so different than the almost unused one standing in her house, looking around.

There was a laptop sitting on the table near her. The screen was black but a small light was still indicating that it was not completely turned off.  
Right next to it Max saw a ton of papers scrambled around, as well as at least three different mugs, all dirty. On the other side of the couch a carelessly thrown remote was resting on a cushion.

Despite the messy condition of the table, Chloe's living room wasn't really dirty – Max was excepting something far worse. No clothes lying on the floor, no sticky stains, no crumbles on the carpet.  
The kitchen was a different story – even from here she could see all of the pizza boxes and empty beer bottles stacked on the countertops. Well, nobody can be perfect.

She glanced again at the papers, adjusting a little her position to be closer and started looking through them. In the first pile she found sketches, more or less finished.

Her eyebrow perked up. She remembered that Chloe's drawings were good but this ones? _'Wowser.'_ They were amazing. She had no idea that she was so talented. _'Not surprising, Sherlock. You never talked with her after a few lousy texts, how could you know stuff like this.'_

She put the pages back where they belonged, feeling a sudden pressure in her throat. She couldn't do even one thing right in her life, could she? She left Chloe at the worst time in her life, left her parents to play some goddamn superhero, left the ones she wanted to help.

The guilt was eating her alive. The last night was the first one she slept through without nightmares since she came back. Max was convinced that she should not be alive, she shouldn't be the one to survive. They didn't deserve to die, not more than she did – if not for her powers she wouldn't be sitting right now in this room. She would be in some morgue or already deep beneath the ground.  
And right now, for her point of view, it wouldn't be such a bad thing.

What if they really died because of her? She saw how the car maneuvered to the side to evade her. She was aware that Rick basically planted the truck right under the mortar shell.

What if she didn't rewind? If the car was hit like it was supposed to be hit, on the back and not the front? Would they survive this?  
Who knows. But Max couldn't get rid of the impression that her actions doomed them all. Because she panicked and tried to save herself instead of thinking like a sane person for a moment.

Since that day she didn't even try to use her powers. Her throat was tightening up, muscles didn't want to move and fear was taking over her mind when she even thought about rewinding.

She breathed in and out, slowly. She didn't want to cry again, not here, not right now. _'I shouldn't even be here.'_ She stated again, hiding her face in her palms to calm herself.

She jumped a little when she heard a strange, muffled noise. It took her a while to recognize it as the sound of running water. Apparently Chloe was taking her sweet time and only now stepped into the shower.

Max looked over at the second pile of papers, much more wrinkled and creased. She reached for them without really thinking about it.

She briefly glanced over pages. Most were some printed out articles and photos with barely readable notes scribbled on the side.  
She squinted, not sure if her eyes were deceiving her. _'This is... Mine?'_ She was looking at one of the photos.  
It definitely was one of her shots, she remembered taking it months ago.

She put the photo aside, quickly forgetting about it when she saw a big headline on the next page that instantly piqued her interest. She carefully read it.

'SITUATION IN ISRAEL EVEN WORSE – ANOTHER DIRECT ATTACK'  
Beneath there was a photo of an almost destroyed MRAP. Short caption under it talked about some casualties and specified that it was an aftermath of an attack.

Max quickly read the full article. Soon enough she found her name briefly mentioned, as well as the names of her friends. Writer mostly focused on explaining why it was a big deal, that the area was thought to be secure and what this means for the stationed there troops.

She looked through the rest of printed out articles, not surprisingly discovering that they were all connected to her or her work. _'Chloe was telling the truth.'_ She felt awful about this revelation. _'She was telling the truth and I lashed out on her.'_

She grunted with frustration, putting the article about her accident on her lap. _'I really can't even do ONE thing right, can I? I don't deserve her concern.'_

She didn't even hear when Chloe shut off the water and came out of the bathroom, dressed in fresh clothes and with a towel in her hands that she was using to dry her hair. She was about to speak when she noticed Max's posture and papers scattered around her. A spark of understanding appeared in her eyes.

She started moving, on purpose stomping on the creaking spots in her floor. She really didn't want to startle her right now.  
Max glanced over her shoulder to look at her.  
The silence was almost deafening.

“I'm re-”  
“I shoul-”  
They both started talking at the same time, cutting almost instantly. Chloe smiled, encouraging Max to talk first.

She cleared her throat and tried again. “I'm really sorry. About everything. For not contacting you. For yesterday. For...” She looked at the papers that she kept examining for the past couple of minutes. “... This. You shouldn't worry so much about me. Not after how I treated you. No one should.”

Chloe shook her head, sending a few droplets of water from her hair onto the wall. “Max, don't be ridiculous.” She just said, throwing the towel over her shoulder. “Yeah, sure, I was... _Mad_ at you at first. But it doesn't matter now, it's in the past, we can't go back and I'm not going to live in it. We were just some stupid kids. Right now I'm happy you are here, alive.” She smiled, not aware how much she made Max want to cry with her words just now.

“I was serious before – you look like shit and it's pissing me off. I'm not going to let you out of here until you are better.” She sent her way an amused glance to emphasize on the fact the she was partly joking and moved to the kitchen to grab a leaflet from her favorite pizza place.  
“Seriously though, if you want anything, to talk or something, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere.”

For the first time since she came back Max smiled. It was a weak smile but full of gratitude. She still felt like some sort of criminal, someone not supposed to be alive and here, like she betrayed everyone...  
But she was hopeful. Just a little.  
Hopeful that it can be alright someday.

 

 

_I'm still fond of you_  
_And I think about you_  
_Most of the time_  
_So what_  
_As if you didn't already know_  
  
_As if you didn't already know - Flunk_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I managed! It's 8am here but I did it. Yay, my eyes hate me right now!  
> Anyway, I'm going to sleep now. Another chapter will be shorter, since I'm not going to torture myself so often with 4k+ words at once, not since I have to write them basically two times. But hey, we are finally on a path to some fluff, so that's good!  
> Thank you for still reading this and encouraging me and take care :)


	7. I'd cut your hand off so I'd never let it go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be posted in two chapters but I merged them after coming to a conclusion that it was a better thing to do.  
> So it's even longer than the last one.  
> I hate myself.

_We need some wind_  
_To blow the clouds away_  
_We need a sun to dry the rain_  
_We need to break the chain of yesterday_  
_We need a storm to kill the pain_

 

**27.08.2017 – one day later**

The sun was just rising when Chloe was woken up by a strange sound. She groggily opened her eyes and looked around, trying to pinpoint the origin of the noise.  
She quickly focused her gaze on the TV where some guy was trying way to hard to advertise a vacuum cleaner.

Chloe lifted herself up a little, yawning. When was the last time she fell asleep in front of the TV? Leaving out the times where she was drunk, of course.  
It had to be ages ago because she couldn't recall.

She reached for the remote, involuntarily glancing at the closed doors leading to her bedroom. Max was probably still asleep... If she even managed to sleep at all.

Chloe, after practically forcing her to eat something, insisted that brunette should sleep in the bedroom. She was not going to let her live on her couch or sleep with her in one bed, even if it was her own bed.  
But she didn't foresee that Max would almost instantly take the opportunity and basically lock herself in that room, away from the world and Chloe.

She wasn't mad or anything like that, she just felt a little dispirited.  
Sure, she understood but was still worried and wanted to help. _'If sitting here on my ass while she was alienating herself is helping then, well... I'm amazing at it.'_

She turned the sound down a notch, lying down again on her back. To be fair, Chloe had absolutely no idea what she was supposed to do next – she didn't think this through at all. Once again, her stupid impulses forced her to do something questionable, to disregard her common sense. _'Yeah, sure, let's take Max like she is some sort of puppy! I can't even fathom what could possibly go wrong!'_

For now she was going to give her space and time. What else could she do, besides making sure that she was eating? How do you even talk with someone who experienced such things like Max? Chloe was not a therapist, not even a 'friend' right now. Just some random girl from the past.

She grabbed one of the pillows and burrowed her face in it. “Seriously, what the fuck was I thinking?”  
Well, it was a little too late to think about this anyway.

She already started to doze off when she heard a quiet creak. She moved the pillow away from her face and glanced at her bedroom door.  
Max, standing hesitantly near the door-frame, looked at her with nervousness clearly painted on her face. Even if she was illuminated only by the light coming from the TV, Chloe could read her face like an open book. Brunette looked bad, especially when she moved her head a little and her wounds emerged from the shadows for a brief moment.

When she saw that Chloe wasn't asleep she quickly turned her face, wanting to hide her cheek – a motion that she had already mastered and probably now wasn't even conscious of doing it. “You are awake.” She stated the obvious, apparently surprised by this fact.

“Yeah, for quite some time now.” She nodded, shifting her position to take a better look at Max. “Did I wake you? Shit, sorry, I sometimes forget about the TV.”

“No, no... I wasn't sleeping.” She ensured, still standing near the door.  
Chloe, as always not really thinking about what she was doing, sat up and pointed her hand on the TV. “In that case, want to save me from this guy? I swear, if I hear even one more time that 'nothing sucks like an Electrolux' I'm going to throw this TV out of the window.” She joked, smiling a little.

Max glanced at the screen and after a short while sat on the other end of the couch, apparently deciding that she felt sympathetic for the piece of electronic.

Chloe quickly silenced the poor guy and instead turned on some music with a couple of clicks. _'The joys of having a SmartTV.'  
_ “Thanks. It would be a shame to trash this TV, I bought it with my first paycheck.” She mentioned, wanting to start the conversation in a smooth way. She was really tired of all this awkward silences they shared in the last 24 hours.

Max glanced at her, taking the bait. “So, what are you doing for a living?”  
Chloe pointed with her chin at all the drawings scattered on the table. “I'm a tattoo artist. Never saw myself behind an office desk and physical jobs were mostly boring.” She smiled, more boldly than the last time.

“You came to San Francisco to make tattoos? Or was it just luck?” Max lifted her brow a little, in the meantime taking the edge of Chloe's blanket and covering her lap with it.

“Nah dude, pure luck. I just jumped in my truck one day and stopped here without any real plan.” She shrugged.  
“Just like that? And what did Joyce say about this?”

Chloe's smile faltered a little but didn't disappear. “Fuck if I know. She probably is thankful that I at least waited for her funeral to end before I moved away.” She said calmly, like she was talking about the weather.

Max's face dropped instantly. She wasn't expecting this kind of explanation. “Oh my God, I... I'm really sorry Chloe.” She stuttered, regretting that she even asked.

But Chloe just waved her hand. “It's okay, it's fine. It was a while ago.” She grabbed the other end of the blanket and slided her legs under it.  
It was not that she wasn't missing Joyce, quite the opposite actually. But it was an old wound - healed but still hurting from time to time.  
She was used to the feeling of loss.

“I'm still sorry. Joyce was like a mother to me... What happened? That is, if I can ask...” Max added quickly, not really sure if she wasn't treading on dangerous grounds. Chloe seemed fine with talking about this but you never know.

“Chill dude, seriously, it's fine. Some asshole mugged her when she was walking back from her late shift. It went sideways.” She grabbed the empty mug standing on the table to have an excuse to break eye contact. It was enough that she was feeling the anger that started to fill her heart, she didn't want Max to also see it.  
_'Okay, maybe it's not completely fine.'_

Chloe freed her legs from under the blanket and stood up, quickly moving to the kitchen. It took her enough time to calm a little. “But they caught him, step-ass made sure of it. At least he was good for something in the end. Coffee, tea?” She glanced at Max briefly, quickly turning to the kettle she just turned on.

Brunette slowly shook her head, only after a second realizing that it was in vain. “No, thanks. You have a stepdad?”  
She was prepared for a lot of things – in fact, she was sure that not much can truly surprise her, not after she got her powers – but hearing the news about Joyce felt like someone punched her in the face.  
She remembered Chloe's mother, of course she did. Some of her best memories from her childhood were tied with that woman. There were weeks when she was seeing her more than her own mother and she definitely more often ate her meals.  
It was almost surreal to think that Joyce was dead.

“Yeah, David.” Chloe muttered with clear aversion. “Ex-army dude. A total douchebag, I still don't know what Joyce saw in him.”  
It was not a fair thing for her to say but she still hated him. He never really respected her, knew everything better than anyone and always had to be right. It was seriously jarring with her rebellious character.  
_'Does this mean that Chloe was completely alone when she was moving away?'_ Max thought, not keen on asking that question aloud.

Chloe poured the boiling water into her mug, after a short while returning to the couch with her new source of energy. She sat down, quickly burying her legs again under the blanket. “So, there's that. I had nothing left in that town so I came here. End of story.” She sipped on her drink, not concerned that she scalded her lips a little. “Better tell me why are you here and not in Seattle instead.”

“I never really wanted to live there.” Max shrugged a little, careful not to move her arm too much. It still hurt, especially when she moved too quickly. “My grandparents are from here and gifted me that apartment for my birthday.”

Chloe, puzzled, lifted her brow. The question she wanted to ask was practically painted on her face. “So, uhm... I guess it was a bad present? Because of your job you are constantly abroad, aren't you? I mean, sure, having a house is cool and all that and it's convenient but...” She shut up, realizing that she started to babble.  
Chloe sparsely babbled.  
It was weird.

_'I should really be careful with my words.'_ She thought, sealing her lips by taking another sip of coffee. She still wasn't sure how to talk with Max without bringing up any bad memories and if she was suddenly having some sort of spontaneous logorrhea then, well...

A sad smile made it's way onto Max's lips. “No, not at all, it was a very deliberate attempt to keep me here. My family didn't... Isn't really approving of my career choice.”

“Oh.” Chloe did not expect this explanation. That seemed a little... Desperate. _'They are so much against this war reporter job?'  
_ Why should that surprise her. Joyce would probably make a big argument if she heard that Chloe wanted to enlist, especially without any serious kind of training. Not to even mention the fact, that she was their only daughter.  
_'David would be pleased if I enlisted. She always thought that I lack discipline. Asshole.'_

“Yeah. Oh.” Max yawned, bringing Chloe back to reality. She was grateful for that – she didn't really want to think about David. “Like we all know, it didn't work. We really fought that day.” Brunette added, shifting a little on the couch to place her weight on her healthy arm.  
“I can imagine.” Chloe murmured, pretty sure that she didn't want to imagine that. “I saw the boxes. Have you ever lived there before?”

Max slowly shook her head as much as she could in her current position. “I didn't have time to do so. Not long after that I left and my parents moved my things there. Since I didn't want to live in Seattle anyway... I was supposed to take care of unpacking when I got back. But then December happened, Christmas, New Year, spring and summer and I didn't return.” She glanced at Chloe with a strange look that was hard to exactly pinpoint in the shadows. “I was angry and too focused on... My job. I came back when autumn rolled in and only because I had to appear on TV for a couple of minutes.” She sighed and got quiet for a minute.

Chloe was silent – it seemed that Max was opening a little and she didn't want to interrupt her with some stupid comment.  
She never before had to be so aware of her own behavior. Chloe had to admit that she much more preferred to just speak without thinking.

“I spent a couple of days with my parents because it was more convenient and then I left again. Loop and repeat.” Max finally said, ending her story.  
She laid her head on the armrest, feeling tired. She didn't really want to sleep – recently that 'activity' became something she seriously dreaded. Either her dreams were filled with nightmares that were causing her to break down or, if she was lucky enough to not remember them, she thrashed around in her sleep, making her arm and back hurt like hell the next day.

So she kept her eyes opened, focusing them on Chloe. Max saw the hesitancy in her face, like if she didn't really know what to do with all that information she just learned. Like she wanted to ask about something more but didn't think it was a good idea.

That was definitely not the reaction that Max wanted to cause. _'Sure, just drop the story of your life on her head and remember to start with all the hard and depressing parts. Get a grip Max, you wouldn't say all that to somebody you just met.'_ She cursed herself, not really sure why she even told Chloe so much. Okay, maybe not 'so much' because she barely said anything – still, Max never really talked about this stuff with anyone. She didn't want to and had nobody to tell if she changed her mind.

Also, Chloe wasn't really 'somebody she just met'. Certainly not after all those times she appeared in her dreams and thoughts in the recent months.  
Yes, they didn't really talk much in the last decade and their ability to chat about stuff was a little... Let's say 'rusted', but Max didn't really feel all that. And it was nice not to think about other stuff, about _it,_ as she kept referring to 'the things that happened when she used her powers that last time' in her head. She didn't want to name _it_ , names carried weight and meaning. Names were powerful.  
Calling that _catastrohpy **murder betrayal**_ just _it_ was helping.  
Or she just convinced herself of that. God knows she had a lot of time to do so.

So, right now, anything that took her mind off _it_ , of that feelings of guilt, helplessness and fear was more than welcomed. Especially if it was something like this girl with blue highlights.

Chloe was staring at the blanket, absent-mindedly playing with her necklace. She was collecting her thoughts, as Joyce would probably say.  
She finally spoke after a while, calmly and quietly. “Max... I'm happy you came back.” Chloe stated, meaning not only the fact that brunette came back alive to the city and didn't die in the middle of nowhere. She was also grateful that Max was the first person to ever come back to her, to her life after running away.  
Even if Chloe did have to basically drag her into it and fight for this moment.

But Chloe was not destined to see Max's reaction – brunette was already sleeping, definitely too tired to survive such heavy conversations at 5am.

A warm smile formed on her face. _'Of course. Typical Max, typical.'_

Chloe, careful not to wake the brunette, tucked her in and turned off the TV. She got up, cracked the window open and sat on the windowsill, searching for her cigarettes. She rarely smoked inside anymore and if she really had to, like now, she always made sure to do so near an open window.

When she got back Max was still sleeping on her couch, only now more curled up and clinging to the blanket. Chloe wanted to move her later to the far more comfortable bed but it could wait for a bit. She was not sleepy, not after that coffee, so she just carefully sat beside her and opened her laptop.

Almost an hour later Max started mumbling incoherently in her sleep. Chloe just glanced at her, concerned a little.  
Only after brunette started to whine quietly and shiver she lightly placed her hand on Max's arm, gently squeezing and massaging it through the blanket. That seemed to have worked only partially, since she stopped trembling but still sounded like she was whimpering.

Without any better idea, Chloe started to hum in an attempt to soothe her. It couldn't hurt, could it?  
After a while Max calmed down a little, much to Chloe's delight.

It became routine in the next couple of days – when Max was finally asleep and had nightmares, Chloe was there to calm her. She sat near her for as long as she had to, going to sleep only after she was sure that brunette was dream-free or when she woke up.  
Neither one of them was against this new routine.

\----------

**03.09.2017 – a week later**

It was all way more complicated than they anticipated.  
Chloe was sure that it won't be easy, of course. But she thought that, given some time and support because that were the only things she could provide, Max will improve. And she did, but not to the extend that Chloe hoped to.

Max, on the other hand, wasn't sure of anything. At least not right now.  
Yesterday she was sure that she wanted to cry till the end of her days.  
Two days ago she didn't want to exist – not to die, just to stop existing. Her thoughts were sometimes suicidal, especially in the first days after she came back, but after all that she did to save her skin the idea of killing herself seemed... Ridiculously stupid. Like she was wasting all of the lives she sacrificed.

With that in mind, even if she was haunted by some questionable urges every time she looked out of the window, she always pushed them away.

She talked with Chloe often, mostly about 'safe' things, unimportant chit-chat. It helped, sure, more than Max thought it would, but still...

Chloe could sometimes hear her crying in the bedroom or bathroom. Brunette also always refused to accept any help with changing her bandages, even if it was a difficult thing to do alone.

But that Chloe understood that. Once, by an accident, she saw a small part of Max's back when she was standing up and her sweater lifted a little, just high enough for Chloe to see the bandages and the wounded skin. Like if someone rubbed brunette's body with a grater.  
She was aware that Max was still hurting – she kept wincing from time to time from pain when she thought that Chloe was not paying attention.

It was heartbreaking to watch her like that. Chloe really wanted to tell her that she didn't have to hide her feelings, that she was not alone, that it was okay to ask for help... But how many times she could repeat herself like a broken record?

But still, there was progress. Their little routine hasn't perished and even though neither of them addressed it directly, it was clear that Max was grateful and Chloe more than happy to help. Brunette's eyes were much less red and even the black circles got smaller.

Their usual day was, quite frankly, boring – when Max wanted to be alone Chloe usually worked on her projects. She was still on her 'vacation' but kept creating new designs and contacting clients about them. Also, someone had to take care of shopping.

Sometimes Max watched her while she was drawing. There was something calming about watching her work, all focused and attentive.  
The way she poked out the tip of her tongue when she was dealing with small details was also kinda cute.

When Max was feeling better Chloe did everything she could to occupy her – starting some silly, abstract conversations, watching with her some dumb movie that she kept commenting on or talking about her work and things that happened there. They very rarely talked about Max's life and that was also fine.  
Still, the more days passed the more often brunette was smiling. So they probably were on a good path.

Right now Max was feeling alright. They've been talking for quite a while, sitting on the couch. Chloe was dressed in a simple t-shirt and short pants while brunette was wearing an oversized sweater with legs tucked under the blanket – it didn't matter how hot it was, her body was always almost completely covered. You could basically only see her head and fingers.

Chloe many times wanted to tell her that she didn't have to do this, that she was still beautiful, that she had nothing to be ashamed of – but she kept quiet, sure that she wasn't even close to being in a position where she could comment on things like that.  
There was also a possibility that Max was hiding her wounds because they reminded her of everything.  
Chloe was guessing that it was probably both.

“And what did Carl do?” Max asked, continuing the topic. Her gaze was entirely focused on Chloe and that made her a little too self-aware.  
“What do you think? He was livid.” She shrugged, trying to relax herself a little by sinking deeper into the couch. She was basically lying on the armrest with her feet nonchalantly placed on the table. “Of course he fired him on the spot. Luckily the client was very understanding and, with a little bit of creativity and a much bigger bit of discount, we fixed it.”

Max, barely noticeable, shook her head. “How can you wrongly tattoo such a simple name?”  
“It happens. Well, not to me, I'm amazing, but it does. That usually is not a dealbreaker either but that guy had already caused so much shit... We later found out that he was drugging himself with painkillers before work since he was constantly hangover. Let me tell you, you never want to be inked by someone high on meds, period.” She grinned, remembering the situation. Carl shouting obscenities at that poor guy, the shocked face of the client and Chloe laughing her ass off in the back...

“He was kinda weird anyway. He was a good artist and he was very handsome with a great sense of humor but he was kind of... Slow? Not really in touch with the reality, that's for sure.”

Max's gaze drifted away a little. “I knew someone like him.” She stated, with these simple words instantly focusing all of Chloe's attention on her. Moments like this, when she added something to the conversation instead of just nodding or commenting were scarce.  
“Oh?” Chloe showed her interest, biting her tongue before she could add something teasing about handsome guys that Max 'knew'.  
It was hard.

“His name was Mark. He was... Unique.” She said, almost more to herself than to Chloe. “He had a great beard and an awesome sense of humor but he was completely detached from reality. He kept forgetting about small stuff like wearing a belt or if he ate his breakfast that day. Seriously, he couldn't remember if he ate something or not.” Max was smiling a little, probably not even aware of that. Chloe just nodded, waiting for the rest of the story.

She didn't have to wait for too long. “But he had godlike aim. Like really, he never missed. Not even once.” She cleared her throat and reached for the mug with her right hand. Chloe noticed that it would be far easier for her if she did it with her left hand.  
She didn't comment on that.

Instead, using the fact that Max was drinking, she spoke up. “Yeah, change aiming to drawing and we are talking about the same guy. How do you know him?” She asked, curious. She was guessing that Max met him on her job, given the fact that aiming usually is directly correlated with shooting.

A small pause. A little too long for Chloe's liking. “Army. I met him on my first trip, 2 years ago.” Max finally spoke, cupping her mug in her hands. “I didn't really knew him that well. He died during an ambush.”  
_'Fuck, figures.'_ Chloe cursed, almost feeling how she started to tread in dangerous waters. This talk can quickly go downhill.  
“Shit, I'm sorry Max.” She said, almost painfully aware how weakly it sounded.

Max wasn't looking at her, apparently finding something much more interesting on the blanket. But she didn't look like she was going to break down and Chloe took that as a good sign. “I... Couldn't do anything to help him. Like I suddenly lost control over my body.” There was something strange in her voice, Chloe noticed. Not sadness, not only. Guilt?

Max never told anybody about this. Who would listen anyway? Her parents? They would freak out. Other soldiers? They probably saw things like that so many times that Max felt almost stupid bringing it up around them. They would laugh at her.  
Wait, no, they would not. Nobody would make fun of her because she experienced someone's death. It's just that... Max felt like she shouldn't make a big deal out of this. They were at war, stuff like that happened everyday.

“Hey, come on, what were you supposed to do?” Chloe took her feet from the table, suddenly sitting up. Max looked at her, a little alarmed by this abrupt move. “You are not a soldier Max. You don't have superpowers either, besides of course your talent to take awesome photos.” She smiled briefly, quickly becoming serious again. “And you have no idea how I respect you for using it like that. You could be sitting right now in Hawaii or somewhere, taking photos of volcanoes or celebrities if you really wanted to. You are really super, SuperMax, but you can't stop bad things from happening, including someone's premature death.”  
_'We also wouldn't be talking right now if you didn't make the choices you did. I'm also thankful for that.'_ She caught herself thinking, a little ashamed of this thoughts. They were selfish, inappropriate.

Lately Chloe was having a lot of this questionable thoughts about Max – the more they spent time together the more frequently they appeared out of nowhere. And Chloe, like a responsible adult that she certainly was, ignored them. For now she was just happy that Max was here, that's all.  
Yep, no reason to be concerned. There'll be time for that _never_.

Max shook her head again, this time with a little more force. She winced when her muscles protested in unison and placed her mug on the table, suddenly aware how easy it would be to spill it's contents. “No Chloe, you don't under-” She sighed, falling silent. _'Of course she doesn't understand, you didn't tell her about your powers, about that shit show.'_

She was still not keen on using them. She didn't even want to talk about them, especially not when she wasn't even sure if she could demonstrate anything – Chloe would just probably think that she lost her mind from all that trauma.  
Max wouldn't blame her for thinking that.

“Yeah, I don't understand.” Chloe said before Max decided how to repair her previous sentence. “How could I? I never saw anyone dying.” She murmured with sad and concerned look on her face.  
“I don't know how you feel. How could anyone know how another feels? But I get that you've been through a lot of shit already. And you can't keep blaming yourself for everything that happens around you.” She was staring at her with such intensity in those azure eyes that Max had to look away, with cheeks probably a little more flushed than she would like them to be.

“Chloe...” She cleared her throat after she collected herself a little and was able to look at her again. “That was not at all what I meant. I... Thank you.” She said, not finding better words to say for now. She was smiling, even if her smile was a little sad. “You know... I never told anyone about this. About Mark.” She admitted, not really sure why.

“Anytime, Max. I'm the lucky one, huh?” Chloe relaxed a little, glad that the mood they created with this topic vanished away. She was also relieved that Max looked like she wasn't going to cry.

Her gaze trailed off for a second, focusing oh brunette's moving hand. She was massaging with her thumb a little spot on her arm through her sweater.  
Max, still focused on Chloe, caught her quick glance and almost involuntarily looked down. She wasn't even aware of the fact that she was once again rubbing that stupid scar.  
She slowly stopped, putting down her hand on her lap.

Chloe didn't ask – instead she stood up and stretched. “I don't know about you but I'm starving. Do you want something specific to eat?”  
Max nodded, happy that they moved on. She wasn't really hungry but whatever. “Chinese?”  
“You got it, Maximus.” Chloe grabbed her phone and walked into the kitchen area, probably to make some coffee in the meantime. She drank a lot of it, Max noticed.

_'And since when we are using nicknames?'_ She wondered, not minding it at all. For the last week Chloe was using only her name when she addressed her.  
Nicknames were... Familiar. Like they were kids again. It felt normal.  
Max was definitely not against feeling normal.

\----------

The next day Max was feeling better. She was still having trouble sleeping but the last night wasn't so bad, especially not with Chloe sitting near.  
They both refused to think about this too much. It was probably a bad strategy to deal with her nightmares like that – sooner or later Max had to go home, alone.  
It was just another thing that she had to deal with later.

But right now she was fine. Her mood has been pretty stable since yesterday, no sudden outbursts or anything like that. She was still felling shitty and everything hurt, sure, but she was better.  
They both noticed that.

“So...” Chloe started when they were again sitting in the living room. Max tore her gaze away from the TV. She wasn't really paying attention to it anyway. “Hm?”

“You have any idea what to do next? I mean, do you want to go back there or..?” Chloe asked carefully. She was nervously playing with a pencil that she held between her fingers.

“Uhhh... I don't know yet?” Max answered truthfully, perplexed a little by this question. Her future was something that she was not even considering for now – she had enough problems dealing with the present.  
She still wanted to help but it depended greatly on her powers. If she burned out or couldn't force herself to use them again then this whole war reporting thing would be far more risky.

But if she still could rewind time... Then it was complicated. Could she even go back there, after all that she did? Right now she was very jumpy, once or twice she was really close to panicking because of some sudden, unexpected noise that reminded her of the sound of tearing metal and crashing glass. If she went back now she would have a mental breakdown for sure. She was not ready at all.  
Maybe someday she will be?

And what if someone died again because she wanted to change her destiny once more? _'Do I even have any destiny? After all that 'cheating death' thing?'  
_ It was a troubling thought. And what about other people? Saving someone from dying is different than actually rewinding their death.

Yet she still was sure that a power like this should not be wasted. It was too great of a gift to just throw away because she had problems that she couldn't deal with.

Max rubbed her eyes. “Ugh, I really don't know. I was not thinking that far into the future.” Money was not an issue – she was rich. Not filthy rich but she was way above the middle class. She earned a lot thanks to her photos and articles and since she wasn't really spending any of it because she was constantly working...  
Actually, the only thing she spent money on was her life insurance. And some presents.  
And it was a great idea, even if a costly one at the time. The compensation she recently received from the insurance company basically settled her for life.

“Yeah, I thought so.” Chloe nodded, clearly thinking about something. “Sorry, it really is way to early to wonder about that.”  
“I will have to do it at some point.” Max stood up, carefully stretching her back. “Coffee?”  
Chloe nodded once again, reaching for the remote. She had enough of this stupid reality TV.

A few minutes later Max was back with two cups, one in her right and one in her left hand.  
The one on the right was fine, stable – she had absolutely no problems carrying it across the room without thinking about it. Like any other mundane task.  
But the left one was a different story. She clasped it in her hand with such force that you would think she was afraid that someone was going to steal it at any moment. She was still not accustomed to the lack of feeling but most of the time it wasn't really preventing her from functioning normally. No, this wasn't really a problem.  
Shaking was. Sometimes her hand would start to tremble a little, without any prior warning.  
Like right now.

“Crap.” She murmured, seeing as the liquid escaped the mug and splashed right onto her fingers. Chloe almost instantly glanced at her and jumped to her feet. “Here, let me help.” She quickly reached for the cup, way to fast for Max to stop her from doing so.

“Ouch, shit!” Chloe hissed when she grabbed the mug, almost dropping it on the floor. In a swift move she placed it on the table. “Jesus, that's fucking boiling. Are you okay?”  
“Yeah, I'm fine. I didn't feel it anyway.” Max placed the second mug near the first one and looked at her hand.  
Chloe raised her eyebrow. “Wait, what? It was hot as hell dude.”

Max blinked, only now realizing why Chloe was confused. “Oh. Yeah.”  
Yes, this was the best possible reaction. 'Oh.'  
_'Smooth Max, smooth.'_

“Um, yes, I know.” She added, moving to the kitchen sink and turning on the tap. She gently placed her fingers under the running water. Not that it helped in any way but you just don't disregard mother's advice, not if you kept hearing it through most of your childhood. You burned yourself? Place it under the cold water. “Yeah, I just didn't really feel it. I have lost my sense of touch in a few spots after the accident, apparently it's not unusual and definitively nothing to be concerned about.” She explained, not wanting to worry Chloe even more.

“Nothing to be con-? Max, just how serious are your wounds?” She heard footsteps behind her and, after a short while, saw Chloe standing near her.  
She felt small under her gaze. “Uhm, quite so?” She turned off the tap and shook the excess water from her hand. “I mean, I still have all my limbs and I'm not paralyzed, so that's fine I guess? It's not that bad, really.” She assured, searching for paper towels with her eyes.

Chloe handed her one sheet and took the rest of the roll with her into the living room. There was still that coffee stain they had to wipe from the table. “Why are you always like this Max.” She asked, not really expecting an answer. She crumbled the wet paper and threw it into the trash.

“Like what?” Max looked at her puzzled, not really sure if Chloe was going to get angry at her or express her concern. Or both.  
But Chloe did neither. “Always downplaying yourself.” She stood in front of Max, crossing her arms. “Look, if I hear even once more something like 'it's not that bad', 'it's no big deal, everybody would do that' or 'it could be worse' coming from your mouth I'm going to shut it. Violently. How many times do I have to tell you that you are amazing till you finally believe me, dumbass? You wouldn't be my best friend if seriously thought different.” She was smiling but her tone was serious. She was leaning a little forward, basically forcing Max to back up a little into the kitchen countertops. No way to escape.

“You can complain as much as you like, I will gladly listen. Really, you don't have to act like it's something stupid and not worth my time or some other shit like that. I hate hearing you hours later, crying behind closed doors. You are just human, you should sometimes try to act like one around me.” She hesitantly backed up from Max, granting her some personal space and slowly made her way onto the couch. “And I fucking mean it Caulfield! Now get your ass over here and let's watch something stupid.”

Max, closing her slightly agape mouth, quickly recovered from the initial shock. She grinned a little, not really sure what to say. “You are impossible.” She said, obediently following Chloe into the living room.  
“And you love it. Now, what do you think about watching 'The Room'? They are making some sort of a continuation so a rewatch of this abomination is a great idea.”  
Max nodded and sat beside Chloe.

 

_I don't remember_  
_Nothing but a minor chord_  
_There's still some ember_  
_Of the fire you adored_

_Dry The Rain – Lord of The Lost_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a feeling that some sentences in this chapter are a little... Strange? I couldn't exactly pinpoint why but they felt slightly off. So sorry about that, I'm still trying to get a grip on this translating thing.  
> Still, hope you liked this chapter. I did enjoy writing it, even though there isn't really much going on in this one.  
> Take care people <3


	8. So much regret for things I never said

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8, aka “How to write about many things to push the story forward without actually having to write a lot about any of them” aka “HtWAMTtPtSFWAHtWaLAAoT”  
> It's not a very catchy title, I admit.

_Strange_  
_Changes come with age_  
_Some things disappear in a day_  
_And some things slowly fade_  
_And you and I are like the ink staining all the other pages_

 

**09.10.2017 – a month later, Monday**

“You are sure you're gonna be fine?” Chloe was so concerned that Max almost felt worried herself.

“Che, I'm not a kid.” She rolled her eyes, managing to send her a soothing smile. “I will survive a few hours alone.” Max added, following Chloe with her eyes while she paced around the living room searching for her things. “Besides, you have to go back to work someday.”

It was hard not to notice that, during this past month, Chloe was bored out of her mind – she was completely not accustomed to doing basically nothing. Finally Max had to almost force her to phone Carl and tell him that she was going back to work.

“I know, I know...” She murmured, looking around for her car keys. “But if anything happens, anything at all, call me immediately.”  
“Yes, mom.” Max rolled her eyes again, amused.  
Chloe, in response, poked her tongue at her in a very childish manner.

Brunette chuckled quietly. “Go already or you will be late.”  
“Nah, Carl will think that something bad happened to me if came to work on time on my first day back.” She finally found her keys, sneakily hiding under the cushions. “Aha, there you are! Anyway, I'll be back in a couple of hours, if so-”

“Oh my God, just go you worrywart. I can take care of myself, you know.” Max interrupted her, deliberately shifting her gaze to look at the TV.

This time Chloe rolled her eyes, opening the front door. “Yeah, sure, okay, I get it. Go ahead, throw me out of my own place. In that case, peace out Maxwell. Try not to have too much fun while I'm out, you know, working.”

They've been doing fantastically right now, despite a little rocky start. Chloe's humor, occasional serenity, character and even just her being around helped Max, she was feeling better – during this month she smiled more than she did in the last two years combined.

She still had problems with nightmares and slight mood shifts but they were manageable. Especially with Chloe's help.  
But there still was that one big problem. You know, the one about Max still living here?  
It was fine for now and Chloe kept insisting that she didn't mind her sleeping in her bed but let's be real. Sooner or later Max had to take care of her life and stop being so dependent on Chloe. She was an adult, she could fight her own fights.

Max meant to talk with her about this for a while now but something always got in the way. Like today – she is not going to burden Chloe with this problem since she just started working again. She is stressed out enough already.

But Max wanted to talk about it soon.  
Like 'this week' soon.

\----------

**11.10.2017 – Wednesday**

Max was carefully watching Chloe as she was, again, pacing around the living room. She was in the middle of a rant about some asshole who scratched her car in the parking lot without leaving any kind of note like a decent human being.

She was gesticulating wildly, with her brow furrowed and an unlit cigarette trapped and kneaded between her pink lips – at least for now, because earlier she played with it for a while between her fingers and even stuck it for a moment behind her ear.

Her necklace was swinging around as she moved, unhesitatingly following her rapid turnings, bouncing of her chest silently from time to time. She even combed her hair a couple of times with her hand to get rid of loose strands that kept attacking her eyes.

Max couldn't stop staring at her, all heated up and angry like that. It was mesmerizing.

Chloe stopped suddenly, focusing her attention on the sitting brunette. “Max, are you even listening to me?”  
_'Uh-oh.'_  
“Emm...” She blinked a couple of times, angry at herself that she was caught staring. “Sorry, you lost me for a moment there.” She murmured glancing away and hoping that her cheeks are not as red as she felt them to be.

Yeah, that was another reason for her to move out quickly. Max started having really weird and random thoughts popping in her head about Chloe. She was also staring at her a lot more without really realizing that she was doing so.  
It was baffling. She never thought about anybody like that. And she definitely shouldn't start right now with her childhood best friend.  
Who was also a girl.

The fact that Chloe seemed to pick up on this and started teasing her whenever she had a chance to do so was not helping Max at all.  
Like right now. “Max, I know that my body is distracting but my eyes are up here.” She laughed, her earlier anger gone just like that.

Max was sure that Chloe had to hold herself back when they first met after all these years. In the last week she teased her on a daily basis and she refused to believe that Chloe just found out that she liked taunting her so much.  
She probably either finally felt at ease with brunette around to joke like that or she actually figured out what Max was thinking.  
Brunette was really hoping that it was the first explanation.

“Oh, bite me.” She mumbled, getting even more flustered.  
Chloe was grinning right now. “Well, if you ins-” She had to stop talking, suddenly attacked by a flying pillow. She caught it without any problems and laughed loudly.  
“That's not what I meant! And you know it!”  
_'It's definitely time to move out already.'_

\----------

**13.10.2017 – Friday**

“Chloe, got a moment?”  
She was sitting on the couch, leaning over to her laptop with a focused stare traveling from left to right across black letters displayed on the screen. Her fingers were idly drumming on the wood in constant, rhythmic manner, like always when she was deep in thought. A blind man could have concluded that she didn't have a moment.

“Sure thing, what's up?” She looked away from the bright screen, straightening herself.  
“I want to talk about something.” Max announced with a blank stare that was so alarming for Chloe.

She lifted her brow and moved a little to make some space for brunette to sit on. “Yeah, I figured that much.” She nodded, stopping herself from saying anything more. Max was partially right about her love for teasing – what she didn't know was that Chloe still restrained herself from saying some things, not sure how brunette would react to them. “What is it?”

Max didn't sit on the couch. Instead she stood behind her, forcing Chloe to shift a little on her seat. “I... Should go back.” She spoke, nervousness painted all over her face.

Chloe just stared for a while, stunned. “Wait, what? Like, soon or..?” She asked, worried and uncertain – Max knew this look of hers, Chloe kept bestowing her with it for the first couple of days.  
She hated the fact that she was able to elicit this kind of look from her. Chloe should never be worried so much.

“Um, yes, soon. This weekend maybe?” She shrugged. She didn't plan this far ahead yet – she was way too anxious about talking about this to even begin to think about details.

Chloe was staring at Max for a short while with such a dumb look on her face, that brunette would certainly laugh if they talked about almost anything else.  
After a few seconds Chloe sharply exhaled, suddenly everything clicking in her head. She rolled her eyes, snorting quietly. “Fuck Max, you can't do that to people!”  
“Do what?” Max was still not understanding what was exactly happening.  
“Dude, I was sure that you are talking about going back abroad, not about moving out. I almost had a heart attack.” She sighed, still chuckling a little.

Max's eyes suddenly widened when she figured out how their talk sounded. “Oh... Oh no, no, this isn't about that, not at all!” She lifted her hands a little in a defensive manner, trying to correct herself immediately.

“I got that much already.” She winked at her but quickly became serious again. “Are you fed up with my sojourn or with me already?” She asked, half seriously and half in joke with her gaze glued to brunette.

“No, nothing like that. But you can't sleep on the couch for eternity, Chloe.” Max said, leaning on the back of the couch and shifting her weight to her forearms.  
“You know that it's not bo-”  
“Yes, yes, I know it's not bothering you.” She quickly interrupted her. She was already convinced about this decision and didn't want to argue with Chloe. “Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate what you are doing for me but you have your own life. You shouldn't be wasting your time either here because of me or working.” She explained, trying to smile reassuringly.  
The monstrosity that appeared on her face was hardly reassuring.

Chloe furrowed her brow. For a second she looked like she was pondering about something. “You know what?” She asked rhetorically, not waiting for Max to actually respond. “You're right. I shouldn't waste my days in here with you or working.” She agreed, much to Max's surprise.  
_'It was... Easy.'_ She thought, strangely disappointed. She expected... Wanted Chloe to fight about it a little.

“It's a good thing that I'm not doing that at all then!” Chloe huffed suddenly, a little annoyed. “I'm not wasting time with you, you idiot. But if you are so concerned about this then we are changing things up.” She kept talking, successfully preventing Max from interrupting her this time. “We are going out tomorrow.” She declared, crossing her arm on her chest.  
_'Wait, wat.'_

Max straightened her back, happy about the fact that she had the height advantage over Chloe for once. “Where?”  
Her only answer was a smile. A confident, happy smile that painfully stirred something inside Max's stomach. “You will see.” Chloe added after a moment, apparently enjoying too much the look on brunette's face to do that earlier.  
“Was that supposed to calm me? Because if so then you failed enormously.” Max commented, nervously kneading the sheathing of the couch with her hand.

“Come on, don't be like that. When was the last time you stepped out of this house, besides the time when I dragged you in?” Chloe remarked. “I promise that I'm not going to take you anywhere you wouldn't want to go. It will be fun and you need some fresh air.”

“I... Chloe, it's not a good-”  
“Max.” Chloe just said, looking at her with that annoyed stare again. She quickly shut her mouth. “Do you trust me?”

Max blinked.  
She thought about Chloe sleeping on the couch that was way too small for someone her height, with her arms hanging inches above the ground and her head resting on the hard armrest while insisting that she was comfortable.  
She thought about her words, direct and heartening, said with such confidence that it was hard to doubt them.  
She thought about about her careful touch and quiet, soothing voice that Max was always desperately grasping at when her own mind was betraying her and trying to drown her in the sea of nightmares.

“Absolutely.” She nodded.

Chloe smiled. “So be quiet and wait. If you really want to move out then let's at least go out to celebrate it. I'm not going to drag you to a party or anything, relax.” She rolled her eyes like it was so obvious.

Max looked at her a little confused. “To celebrate? I thought you would be a little more against this idea since you had problems with leaving me alone for a couple of hours just a few days ago.”

“You are not in prison, Max. I'm not going to handcuff you to the radiator only because you want to move on with your life.” Chloe sighed, glancing at her laptop when a short noise emerged from it's speaker, signalizing a new message.

“If you are sure about this then I will support you. And you can come back here anytime, you know that.” She murmured, a little quieter but still audible.  
Max swallowed, suddenly feeling stupid. She sighed and placed her hand on Chloe's arm. “Thanks, Che.”  
“Anytime, Maximus.”

\----------

  
**14.10.2017 – Saturday**

“Yo, Maxwell, are you coming?!” Chloe stood near the front door, impatiently glancing at the clock hanging on the wall. It was already after sunset and the city kept getting darker and darker with each passing moment.

“Yes, I'm coming!” Max shouted back from inside of the bedroom, busy with putting a sweater on. Chloe warned her to dress warmly, only fueling her curiosity. And nervousness.

“We have to drive for a bit so move that bony white ass of yours already!” Chloe hurried her, fixing the strap of her bag.  
Max just rolled her eyes, not keen on commenting on that.

A while later they were both sitting in the car, Chloe irritatingly quiet about their destination and Max really anxious.  
“Seriously, relax dude.” Chloe glanced at her quickly, shifting her focus from the road for a second.

Max sinked a little in her seat and peered through the window, observing less and less buildings the longer they traveled. They were apparently going somewhere far from town, which was good. The city was busy and noisy, full of people, especially on the Saturday night. Max was definitely not up to any kind of socializing with strangers right now.

Chloe put on a surprisingly timid music which, mixed with the calming vibrations of the moving car and boring sights made Max really sleepy. She was practically napping when Chloe stopped the truck.  
Only when she bumped her knee Max woke up, looking around groggily. “Wake up, sleepyhead. We're here.”

She yawned, opening the doors. “And where is this 'here'?”  
Chloe grabbed the bag and closed her doors. “In the past... Well, not exactly in the past, but close enough anyway.”  
Max furrowed her brow, looking around perplexed. “What do you even mean in-” She suddenly stopped talking when her eyes landed on a white lighthouse looming on a cliff not far from them. Despite the distance it was still looking enormous and kinda majestic.  
It took her a couple of seconds to realize that it couldn't be the same lighthouse she remembered from her childhood. There was no forest and the cliff was smaller.

Chloe spotted her reaction and smiled. “Like I said Max, close enough. Not the same, I'm not going to drive to Arcadia at 11pm on a Saturday night but it's still nice.” She said, fiddling with something on the back of her truck. “Come here, you can be amazed later.”

Max blinked quickly and hesitantly pulled her gaze away from the lighthouse. She took a few steps towards Chloe's voice and was greeted by a quite unusual sight. The metallic, a little rusted in a few places back was covered with a warm blanket and two small pillows. Chloe was already lying on one side, looking really comfortable.

After a short while she spent on thinking about this idea, Max carefully climbed up, taking her place beside Chloe.

“Look out for your head.” She warned, lifting her hand and knocking on the truck with her knuckles right above her pillow.  
_'Seriously, she fit all this in that one bag? What kind of black magic is this?'_  
“Uhm.” Max nodded, surprised at how much space was actually here.  
Chloe handed her yet another blanket which she gladly took and covered herself with it. “So, where are we?”

“Feast your eyes Caulfield because what you have here is a sight to truly behold – a beautiful black ocean illuminated by the one and only Pigeon Point lighthouse. Not as pretty as ours, I know, but it's good enough.” She theatrically waved her hand and lifted herself up a little to look at Max.  
Brunette was again focused on the lighthouse. “It looks so familiar...” She said, reminiscing.

“Yup. That lighthouse was one of the only nice things that we had in Arcadia.” Chloe nodded, not following Max's gaze. She preferred to keep looking at her face. “The only difference is that here we have a hostel at the base of the lighthouse, not a group of alcoholic teenagers starting bonfires.” She murmured, aware that she was once one of those kids.  
“But, that's not all. Lie down.” She recommended, doing the same. “There aren't many more better places from where you could watch the stars.”  
Max lied down, only now noticing the sky. She was too enchanted with the lighthouse to even think about looking up. “Wowser.” She whispered, instantly agreeing with Chloe's statement. Here, far from the city lights the sky looked liked it was pulled directly from some astronomy book – clear, almost pitch black and illuminated with thousands of stars.

“Who even says that anymore.” Chloe chuckled, putting one of her hands under her head to lift it up a little. It was not the first time she made fun of Max's vocabulary.

“Oh, shut up.” Max mumbled without even a trace of spite in her voice. “I would never have guessed that you were into stargazing.”

“Because I'm not into it, not anymore.” Chloe said, shifting her gaze form one constellation to another. She couldn't name the vast majority of them.  
“Not anymore?” Max picked up, also focused on the sky.  
“Not anymore.” Chloe repeated. “Well, to be fair, I was never really interested in stargazing. It was more about the fact that phrase 'let's go stargazing' meant in reality 'let's go drink and smoke pot under the sky'. Stars were just a nice addiction.” She laughed quietly, her smile not really reaching her eyes.

“Of course.” Max also smiled picturing that in her mind: Chloe lying on that bench they used to play under the lighthouse with a bottle of beer and a joint between her fingers, her hair hanging through the holes between the planks just like her necklace, with the stars mirrored in her blue eyes.  
For the first time since _it_ happened Max thought how good of a photo that would be. “Why did you stop?”

Chloe shrugged weakly. “I stopped having company so I stopped caring about it.” She murmured evasively.  
Max didn't want to dig into that. Not today.  
So she went silent, focusing once again at the night sky and her own thoughts. She remembered how William used to take them up the cliff to the lighthouse when they were younger, how they played around it, had picnics on the benches...

Chloe didn't seem to mind the lack of response. They felt comfortable around each other and this silence between them was enjoyable – both just wanted to be near the other one.

Only after a long while Max spoke up. “Chloe?”  
“Hm?”  
“Thanks. Again. For everything.”

Chloe grinned and poked brunette with her elbow. “You are thanking me way to much, dude. Just wait till you find that spider I put in your clothes the other day.”  
“Ass.” Now it was Max's turn to hit Chloe playfully while she was smirking, very happy about herself. Even though she had to really restrain herself from just grabbing Max's hand mid-slap and intertwining their fingers together.

 _'So gay. Keep it in your pants, Price. Even if it's not your fault that she is so adorable. Maybe it's a good thing that she is moving out.'_ Chloe thought, shifting her stare from Max to the lighthouse.

Everything was going great – in the last couple of weeks brunette was doing amazing, at least when comparing to the first few days. Chloe even found her asleep on the couch when she got back from work late. Twice. It was a surprising thing to see her like that but it was great.  
Although she would prefer that Max slept on the bed like a normal person instead of falling unconscious on the couch while waiting for her.

 _'Maybe this will finally take care of this stupid crush.'_  
Chloe was actually thinking about her feelings like they were just a thing that will pass. She was always quick to fall for someone, just look at Rachel.  
And since she was spending almost all of her time with Max then it was nothing surprising that she started crushing on her. Despite everything that happened, her heart was still not stone cold.

She would probably do something about this, make a move if it was anybody else but we were talking about _Max_ – _that Max,_ the one that spent her childhood with her, with whom Chloe played pirates and talked about boys many years ago.  
The same one that went through unimaginable hell and was probably not even thinking about stuff like this. And even if she did, she probably didn't like girls anyway, Chloe guessed.

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

\----------

**15.10.2017 – Sunday**

Chloe took care of everything – including shopping for groceries for Max, bringing her home and helping her with unpacking all those boxes.  
The apartment looked much better now – previously empty shelves were filled with books and small mementos, curtains were hanged in the windows and there were actually fruits in the fruit baskets.

They were just finishing unpacking when Chloe decided that it's time for a break.  
“Now?” Max lifted her brow, glancing at her meaningfully. “This is the last box. You couldn't like, I don't know, maybe take a break three boxes ago?”  
Chloe got up, reaching for her hoodie she threw on a couch earlier and searched it's pockets for her cigarettes. “Nah, three boxes ago I didn't want to smoke.” She explained with a smile, finally finding the pack in the meantime. She threw the hoodie again on the couch and walked to the balcony.

This view from here always left her in awe. She instantly regretted living only on a 4th floor.  
She lit up her cigarette, almost able to hear how Max rolled her eyes.  
“You should quit smoking.” She heard a soft voice behind her.  
“I once did. Besides, I should do many things.” She turned around to look at brunette, leaning on the railings with the small of her back.

“Great, so you have experience already.” Max was standing near the glass door, leaning to the right on the door frame with her arms crossed on her chest. Light casted by the sun behind Chloe was partially illuminating brunette, highlighting her figure and half of her face.

Chloe had to admit that Max's wounds, at least those that she could see, healed quite nicely. Her cheek looked fine, only deformed by two long, still a little reddish scars that will eventually fade a little.

“I will quit someday. But not today.” She shrugged, exhaling the smoke away from the brunette. “Anyway, what are you going to do now?”  
Max replicated her shrug, looking over Chloe's arm at the city. “Exactly the same thing I've been doing for the past month?”  
“Woah, alone, without me? Am I really that redundant? I thought we had something going on, Max.” She summoned her best sad face, theatrically shaking her head. “Our sitting on the asses and doing absolutely nothing productive was _special_ Max! You can't deny that!”

Brunette snorted with laughter quietly, returning her gaze to Chloe. “Oh dog, I really hope you were never in any drama club.”  
This time Chloe snorted, amused more than she was justified to be after just hearing Max's comment.  
“And what if I told you that I actually was a part of one?” She lifted her brow, with an impish smile forming on her face.

Max blinked, tilting her head a little. Like always when she was really curious about something. “I would say that you are full of shit.” She answered with just a hint of doubt in her voice.

Upon hearing that Chloe grinned even harder, almost instantly putting her cigarette out on the metal railing, much to Max's displeasure. “Hey, my balcony is not an ashtray.”  
“Sorry.” Chloe cleared her throat and, instead of throwing the bum away, threw it into the almost empty cigarette pack she was still holding in her hand.  
“Are you honest?” She asked out of the blue, pushing it into the pocket in her jeans. She looked at Max with a strange spark in her eyes.

She looked back at her, confused. “What?”  
In a swift motion Chloe moved away from the railing, rapidly shortening the distance between them. “Are you fair?” She asked this time, gently grasping Max's arm.

She instinctively started moving away, a little scared by the sudden change in the proximity between them but quickly regained her composure and stopped moving. “Chloe, what do you-”  
"That if you be honest and fair, your honesty should admit no discourse to your beauty. Ay, truly, for the power of beauty will sooner transform honesty from what it is to a bawd than the force of honesty can translate beauty into his likeness. This was sometime a paradox, but now the time gives it proof." Chloe recited, dramatically leaning even closer to Max, only to realese her arm at the last sentence and back away a few steps with a face full of sorrow and anger. "I did love you once." She finished, theatrically moving her glance to the panorama behind her.

Max lifted her brows so high that they basically dissapeared under her bangs. "Was that... Shakespeare?"  
Chloe looked at her, already smiling again. She looked really amused. "Ay, my dear Ophelia. But, to be fair, I never really played as Hamlet. I just know all of his scenes with Ophelia. They are pernamently burned into my brain, I repeated them so many times." She laughed. "But you are partially right, I never was an offical member of the drama club. Thank God."

"Care to... Elaborate?" Max was curious and still a little shocked. She never thought that this day would end with Chloe reciting Hamlet to her on the balcony.

"Once, literally once, I was practically forced to play a small part in the play as a replacement, only because I was the only one avaiable. Best part, it was the same day when they expelled me from the Blackhell." She sighed, a little less happy.  
"By some miracle I didn't make a fool of myself and saved the play. Later on I was constantly bugged by Rachel to help with her future roles and I, more or less happily, obliged. I was also present on many rehearsals." She explained, reminiscing.

"Rachel?" Max asked after a small pause, making sure that Chloe said everything she wanted to.  
"Oh, yeah, I never told you about her." She noticed, perfectly aware of that fact. Of course she didn't mention her to Max – she didn't really want to talk about her and there wasn't really any opportunity to even do so. It was not a topic she could just casually bring up like it was nothing.  
_'Well, there probably won't be a better time than this then.'_

"Yeah, I had a girlfriend back then for a long while. Until she dumped me for our drug dealer and skipped town with him." She shrugged, combing her hair with her hand.  
"Oh." Max commented, at first only registering the part about Chloe having a girlfriend. She quickly realized what else Chloe confessed and hurriedly added more. "I'm sorry, that's awful."

"Yeah, it sucked. It was a long time ago though." She shrugged yet again, sending Max a small smile before she passed her and went into the room. "Anyway, I should get going. I have work in an hour and Carl already shouted at me about being late this week."

Max closed the balcony door. "You were late again?"  
"Hey, it happens. He should know better than to give me the morning clients. You gonna be alright?" She asked, turning away from the front door.  
"I hope so. If not then I will call you, don't worry." Max reassured her, still a little baffled by everything she heard today.  
"You better. See you soon?"  
She smiled. "Definitely."

\----------

The first night was hard.

Max for a long time just sat in her bed, absentmindly browsing the internet on her laptop.  
After that she just laid on the sheets for even longer, staring into the ceiling. A small lamp standing on her bedside cabinet was still turned on. She would not admit it to anyone but she was afraid to turn it off. Her own bedroom felt and looked unfamiliar, especially in the dark.  
There were no posters on the walls, the mattress was not worn out or soft enough, the smell was not right. Her sheets smelled freshly, like a detergent instead of a familiar mix of coffee, vanilla, almonds and just a little hint of cigarettes.

"This is hopeless." Max muttered, closing her eyes. She took a deep breath and got up, deciding that maybe some water would help her.  
But after leaving her room she stopped before reaching the kitchen, catching a glimpse of something white on her black couch. Curious, she went to examine the strange anomaly.

 _'Of course.'_ She rolled her eyes, picking up a hoodie that was way to big for her. _'Of course she already managed to leave something in my home.'_  
She folded the hoodie and put it back on the couch, moving to the kitchen for that glass of water she wanted.  
After taking care of that she began walking to her bedroom but stopped right in front of the door. Hesitantly, she looked behind her, peering into the living room, thinking.

"Oh, fuck it." She went back for the hoodie, taking it with her into the room.

The first night was not that hard.

 

 _We're at the edge of the world again_  
_A step back is a step forward_  
_Been here before when we were innocent_  
_I saw the signs but I couldn't find the words_

_Counterpane – The Birthday Massacre_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More nice chapters?  
> More nice chapters!  
> And now for the bad news - next chapter will be later than usually, I'm not really sure when.  
> Take care people <3


	9. Her hair I would long to adorn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little NSFW below. Really, just a little and in the most cliché way possible.  
> Also, snakes. Be warned if you don't like them.

_Slowly turns the key of time_  
_In the lock of promises broken_  
_In mute silence of my space_  
_I crouch under my yearning_

 _  
_ **17.10.2017 – three days later**

Some people just couldn't cook at all. Like, they would always either burn the food, use wrong spices, undercook something, mix up the required amounts...  
Max was one of those people.

She opened her window to let the smoke out of her apartment. She probably should stick to the takeout food and instant noodles.  
Cold air blasted in her face, quickly making it's way into her throat and lungs. Max spent the last hour in the kitchen with the oven heated up, so the sudden change in the temperature was exceptionally unpleasant.

 _'Looks like it's yet another pizza day.'_ She left the window open and walked into the bedroom, searching for her phone. The sad remains, which once could be referred to as food, that she left on the countertop were definitely not edible.

Normally Max wouldn't even try to cook anything but now she had two good reasons for this experimentation.  
Firstly, thanks to Chloe, she had so much food in the refrigerator that she just had to do something with it. Letting it rot was out of the question.  
Secondly, for the last two days, she was going insane from boredom. Max really wouldn't have guessed that this will be her biggest problem – in the past she often had to improvise and entertain herself and it was never an issue. She could read the same book fifteen times and still enjoy it.  
But now? She tried to read, she had a lot of books to catch up on, but she was getting bored after just the first chapter. Same thing with any TV series – two episodes in and she had enough.  
And the last thing she wanted to do was to just sit and listen to what her brain was spewing out.

So she tried cooking something.  
It didn't go well.

The only moment when she wasn't bored was when Chloe clogged her inbox with messages.  
Just like she did when Max was busy with developing her cooking skills. She forgot to take the cellphone with her an hour ago, so she had a lot of unread texts.  
Smiling, she rolled her eyes and unlocked the screen.  
****

**[03:18]che:** yo, wyd?  
**[03:29]che:** besides ignoring me  
**[03:30]che:** max  
**[03:30]che:** cmon  
**[03:31]che:** talk 2 me  
**[03:31]che:** or im gonna come there  
**[03:32]che:** i know where u live  
**[03:43]che:** k sry that was creepy  
**[03:44]che:** im not creepy  
**[03:44]che:** wait is that why u ignoring me?  
**[03:45]che:** u r not dead are u?  
**[03:49]che:** dont leave me hanging

Max let out a noise that was supposed to announce both her irritation and amusement to the world and quickly typed a response

 **[03:55]maxoxo:** Im fine you creep  
**[03:55]maxoxo:** been cooking  
**[03:56]maxoxo:** or trying to, rather

Answer from Chloe came almost immediately.

 **[03:56]che:** u in the kitchen?  
**[03:56]che:** max u fucked up cereal 2 weeks ago  
**[03:57]maxoxo:** I did not!  
**[03:57]che:** u forgot about milk  
**[03:58]che:** after already pouring cereal  
**[03:58]che:** and putting a spoon in it  
**[03:59]che:** u sat and just ate it like that  
**[04:01]maxoxo:** thats not the definition of 'fucking up'  
**[04:01]maxoxo:** maybe I like my cereal dry  
**[04:02]che:** uhm sure dude  
**[04:03]che:** and i liked the shitbay  
**[04:03]che:** u cant fool me  
**[04:04]maxoxo:** oh shut up  
**[04:04]maxoxo:** you had almost no milk and I didnt want to drink it all  
**[04:05]maxoxo:** what was I supposed to do, pour cereal into the bag?  
**[04:05]maxoxo:** and at least I try

When she didn't get any response, Max slided the cellphone into her pocket, completely forgetting that she was supposed to order something.

\----------

"Chloe!" A loud scream echoed in the building she was leaning against. She rolled her eyes and hid her phone, focusing instead on the cigarette in her mouth.  
"Give me a moment!" She yelled back, exhaling the gray smoke.

"Why the heck are you taking so many breaks? Are you trying especially hard to get lung cancer or something?" The doors beside Chloe opened with a loud creak and a female head peeked outside. “Carl was looking for you, he wanted to talk before you leave.”  
“Yeah, tell me something new.” Chloe chuckled, reaching for her cigs and offering some to the woman. She looked at her hesitantly but finally took one.  
She went outside, closing the metal doors behind her and leaned on the same wall as Chloe, reaching for a lighter. “Thanks.”

“Well, at least now I won't be the only one Carl would be yelling at for smoking.” Chloe nodded, tucking her hands in the pockets of her jacket. It wasn't really cold today, but after standing here motionless for a while she couldn't feel her fingers. Also, the wind was freezing.  
“Huh, I thought that you're already immune to his yelling.” The woman smiled, lighting her cigarette. “He constantly screams at you about something so...”  
“Nah, that's because we're madly in love.” Chloe shrugged, chuckling quietly. “We were supposed to act all professional in the workplace but Carl just can't bottle up his feelings for me. Shouting is the only way he can express his love without actually doing it.”  
“Well, that explains everything.” She watched as Chloe almost instantly took her cellphone out of her pocket, after hearing a short notification sound.

“So, how is your roommate?” She asked after a while, when Chloe stopped typing.  
“Hm?” She looked at her, at first not understanding. Apparently all her focus was now directed to the rectangular device in her hand. “Oh, yeah, um, great, she moved away a couple of days ago.”  
“Already? You scared her away with that date?” The woman asked teasingly, lifting her eyebrow with an amused smile.

“I don- Wait, what?”  
“Come on Chloe, you can't take someone to the beach at night only to 'stargaze'. Just the two of you, alone, in the back of your truck? Not to mention that it could be more cheesy only if you took her to a movie and dinner instead.”

Chloe rolled her eyes, a little embarrassed. “Fuck off, it was not supposed to be a date.” She muttered, glancing away at the sky. Dark clouds were quickly forming above them, a sure sign that it was going to rain soon.  
“Then what, a friendly meeting? Chlo, we have known each other for years and the only places you ever took me 'as a friend' were concerts, parties and sessions. C'mon.”

Chloe lifted her brow, quickly taking her chance to change the topic a little. “Wait, have you ever wanted me to take you stargazing?”  
“Not particularly, no. Fair point.” The woman nodded with a smile and put out her cigarette, not bothered by the fact the she only smoked half of it. Chloe winced a little inside, deeply disturbed by such wastefulness, and also put out her bum.

“Anyway, I have to get going. Remember to talk with Carl before leaving and don't text so much with your girlfriend.”  
“She's not my girl- Oh, you know what Gingrich? Don't let your own ass hit you as you go fuck yourself on the way out.” Chloe shoot her a glance, both amused and a little annoyed.

The only answer she got was a hearty laugh before she was, again, standing alone in the alley, with wind messing up her hair. She wanted to go back immediately after her but Steph's words made her suddenly worried.  
Max wasn't thinking it was actually a date, was she? No, of course not – she was the most oblivious person Chloe knew. Brunette was blind to this kind of stuff. Even if she hanged a big banner in front of Max's door with something like 'HEY MAX, I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU, SIGNED CHLOE' written on it she would still not get it.

 _'Maybe she didn't think of it as a date but after you basically told her that you like girls? She looked a little... Uncomfortable? Perplexed?'_  
Chloe furrowed her brow when a particularly cold wind hit her face, almost forcing her to turn her face away. _'You think too much, Price.'_  
She looked at her phone and quickly sent Max a message.

 **[04:21]che:** u ate already?

She didn't have to wait long for an answer. She felt small vibration and a notification appeared on the screen.

 **[04:22]maxoxo:** nah, still deciding what to order  
**[04:23]che:** wait no  
**[04:23]che:** give me an hour tops  
**[04:23]che:** i end work in a bit  
**[04:24]che:** and ill teach u how to make food  
**[04:24]maxoxo:** srsly Chloe, you can cook?  
**[04:25]maxoxo:** we've been living on fast food for the entire month

Chloe hesitated before answering, only now stopping to think about this idea. It's been years since she cooked something, since the funeral.

 **[04:28]che:** max  
**[04:28]che:** trust me babe  
**[04:28]che:** my cooking is amazin  
**[04:29]maxoxo:** yeah, sure  
**[04:29]maxoxo:** but why not  
**[04:30]che:** cool c u in a bit

She put her phone in her pocket, feeling small drops of rain crashing on her nose. It was finally raining.  
Chloe quickly marched inside.

\----------

Max was really thinking that it was some sort of joke. She was sure that Chloe will just show up with something like a frozen pizza – _technically_ , heating it up could be considered as cooking. _Eventually._  
So now, as she was looking at her best friend chopping vegetables in perfect cubes with quick and effortless motions, while explaining the importance of spice selection, Max was dumbfounded.

"Chloe." She interrupted her lecture, not able to process any part of it anyway. It was hard to focus when you were in shock. “What the fuck.” Max asked with amusement, without even a hint of question in her voice.

“What, about coriander?” Chloe raised her brow, guessing that brunette was asking about her teachings. “I know, it sounds strange when you add it to this mix, but tru-”  
“No, I have nothing against coriander.” She interrupted her, watching as Chloe scooped chopped vegetables onto the heated frying pan and reached for the big slice of beef. She also changed the knife she was using, choosing a more massive one for this.  
Well, it was good to know that Max had various knives for various things in her house. She always used whichever she blindly grabbed after opening the drawer.

“I'm just curious what else are you hiding from me. Drawing, theater and now cooking?”  
Chloe glanced at her with a cunning grin. “I'm a woman of many _talents_ , Max.” She winked at her, quickly focusing on the meat again.  
“I bet.” Brunette murmured under her breath, way to quietly for Chloe to hear. She was not going to dwell into that conversation, for her own sake.

It was better to just change the topic. “Want any help maybe? I feel bad that I'm just standing here while you're cooking in my kitchen.” She suggested, with eyes still focused on Chloe's hands.  
“Actually, yeah. You could find me a corkscrew, I'll be needing it soon.” She pointed at the bag she brought with her, now neatly placed near the refrigerator.

Max looked inside it, curious. She ignored it earlier, sure that Chloe just brought some minor ingredients that Max's kitchen was lacking. “Wine? I didn't see a single bottle of it in your house. I thought you were more of a beer person.” She admitted, looking at the bottle of red wine. She couldn't even pronounce it's name correctly.

Chloe chuckled. “Dude, alcohol is alcohol. But yeah, I prefer beer because it's more convenient to drink.” She explained while Max was looking for a corkscrew. “Besides, this wine is mostly for the sauce, although there will be some left to drink for the dinner. I mean, that is, of course, if you would even want some? I don't know if you drink and I don't want to assume.” She bit her tongue, suddenly aware that she was blabbering. _'For fuck's sake, not again.'_

“Uhm, I don't know.” Max shrugged, finally finding the damned corkscrew. Of course it was in the last drawer she decided to check.  
Chloe looked at her a little surprised. “You don't know? Don't tell me you have never drunk anything.” She asked, before she could think about her words.

Max seemed unfazed but the tone in her voice shifted a little. “A couple of times, when I was still going to school. Never much and never anything tasty. I didn't really have any opportunity to do so later in life, as you can imagine.” She muttered, turning away from the countertop and leaning against it with the small of her back. She mindlessly looked at the description printed on the back of the bottle, not really reading it.

To be fair, she was impartial about alcohol – not down for but not against it either. But when she discovered that booze was fucking up her powers really badly, she stopped drinking it completely.  
But now? Since she still had no interest of rewinding anything?  
Maybe it was time to explore a little again.

“Oh, yeah, that makes sense.” Chloe grumbled stupidly, preoccupied with the sizzling pan. “Anyway, it's different if it's actually used as an ingredient so you don't really have to worry about it.” She assured her.  
Max's only response was a silent nod.

\----------

She had to admit it – Chloe was a _damn good_ cook. Her house never smelled so delicious. The food even looked like it was prepared by a professional chef, evenly arranged on the plate in an aesthetically pleasing way.  
Not to even mention the taste.  
_Oh God the taste._

“Did you ever thought about auditioning for one of those TV shows about cooking or something like that?” She asked later, when they were sitting on the couch, each with an almost empty glass of wine.

“Can you even imagine me there? Fuck, I would constantly argue with jury and they would have to censor half of my sentences. And gestures.” Chloe laughed, probably being not far from truth.

Max snorted quietly. “Yeah, that sounds like you.” She agreed, for a split second wondering if she should continue and ask her the question that was on her mind since Chloe got here.

Apparently she decided that yes, she should. “So, with a talent like that, why you eat exclusively takeouts? You never cooked when I was living at your house and you had a lot of pizza boxes lying around.”

Chloe shrugged. “I don't like to cook only for myself and you didn't want to eat anything for the first week, remember? I didn't want to guilt you into eating something just because I made it or some shit like that. Besides, the last time I cooked something was when I was still living in Arcadia.” She explained, downing the rest of her wine in one quick gulp.  
Before Max could respond, Chloe got up. “Bathroom, give me a sec.” She said, leaving brunette alone on the couch.

Max lifted her hand in a resigned gesture. She learned a few things about Chloe in those past weeks – for example, she had a tendency to run away from any unpleasant topics she didn't wish to discuss. Literally.  
Like right now. Or earlier, when she mentioned Rachel.

Max sighed heavily, not sure what to do with this, if anything at all. She wasn't better than her – she kept running away from everything, even from her own destiny. She was hardly a role model.

But when Chloe returned a couple of minutes later there was a grin on her face. A big, mischievous grin that made Max immediately nervous. And maybe a little aroused.  
Just a little.

“What?” She asked, lifting her brow up. Chloe sat on the couch with such a confident and smug look on her face, that Max wouldn't be surprised if she could push her off the sofa with the sheer size of her ego right now.  
“Max, you know that you can talk to me, right? And you can ask if you need literally anything?” She started, still with this enormous grin plastered on her face.  
This can't end well.

Max shifted anxiously on her seat and put the glass on the table, for safety purposes. “Yes, I know. Why?” She asked slowly, not sure where Chloe was going with this.  
“Good, good. Then why didn't you tell me that your radiators are broken?” She continued, highly amused by this whole situation.  
“My rad- Chloe, what are you talking about?”  
“You should have told me that you are cold at nights. I have a great solution for that kind of problem and you wouldn't be forced to steal my clothes when I'm not looking.” Max thought that this mischievous smile couldn't get any bigger.  
She was wrong.

And she suddenly understood what this was all about. She quickly glanced behind her, looking at two pairs of doors – one closed, leading to the bathroom and one placed right beside, slightly ajar, leading to her bedroom.  
She caught a very noticeable glimpse of white - it was almost like a big stain on her dark sheets. She couldn't tell from here what it exactly was, but she was sure that she would have no problem in recognizing the piece of clothing if she stood near the bathroom door.

Max groaned quietly, feeling the heat building up in her cheeks. “Oh, I'm not... That's not what... I mean... Uhm...” She muttered quietly, trying really hard to disappear right now.  
Chloe was enjoying this way too much.

“Hey, I'm not judging, my clothes are pretty damn cozy. I would steal them myself if I could.” She gently poked Max's knee, forcing her to look up.  
“You left it last time. I should give it back to you.” Brunette said when she finally remembered how to properly formulate sentences. But when she started to get up, Chloe took her hand and tug on it, forcing her to sit down again.  
“Chill, Mad Max. I have other hoodies.” She said with a much more pleasant, amused smile.  
But the smugness in her voice was still present. “Besides, that's fucking adorable.” She added, barely holding in the laugh.

Well, now Max _really_ wanted to disappear. She groaned again and looked away. “Okay, you can now officially fuck off forever.” She murmured, blushing even more.  
Chloe finally laughed out aloud, wanting nothing more than to hold her hand forever.

\----------

**17.11.2017 – a month later**

It was certainly not how she imagined it would happen, but she couldn't care less about that. Max was the only thing that mattered now, her warm body trembling under Chloe's touch when she pinned her to the cold wall, quiet moaning suppressed by her aggressive kisses.

She slided her hand down Max's side, quickly finding the hem of her shirt and slipping under it. Chloe carefully traced a line with her fingers along brunette's ribs and scarred skin, despite all the lust and eagerness she clearly manifested with her mouth.  
Her skin felt like it was on fire, bright blue eyes were filled with something much more primitive and rough than just passion.

Chloe moved onto Max's neck, leaving a wet trail along her jaw. Brunette moaned louder, clenching her fist in Chloe's hair when she hit a sensitive spot, eagerly tilting her head to give her better access. Her breath was erratic, eyes unfocused, groaned words unrecognizable.  
  
Chloe placed her hand on Max's breast, squeezing it through the bra. She could feel her stiff nipple underneath the fabric, hear the sudden gasp brunette let out in surprise.

She leaned back, making some distance between them, getting a dissatisfied, needy moan in response. Chloe quickly grabbed brunette's shirt and freed her from it, throwing it carelessly to the side. She glanced at her chest, unevenly scattered with small freckles before she once more pinned her with her mouth, even more eagerly than last time. It was sloppy, teeth colliding, raw and brutal – but she didn't care.

One of her hands found it's way under Max's bra while the other slided down her back and pulled her closer, away from the wall. She shifted a little, parting brunette's legs with her thigh.  
Max groaned into Chloe's mouth, unconsciously starting to grind against her. Despite the two layers of jeans separating their bodies, she could feel the warmth emanating from her crotch.

She unhooked her bra with one hand without any trouble, once again moving her lips lower, to the unscarred part of Max's neck. She left a small mark with her teeth on her pale skin.  
Judging from the sound that came from brunette's mouth, Chloe should do that a lot more.

“F- fuck, Chlo...” She heard when she slided even lower, almost kneeling now, finally meeting her breasts with her tongue. Chloe tugged at Max's zipper, impatie-

A sharp, loud noise pierced her ears, surprising her and efficiently waking up.

Chloe opened her eyes reluctantly, still not fully conscious. She reached blindly for her phone, eager to find out who dared to wake her up from a dream like that.  
Yawning, she unlocked the screen.

 **[08:29]maxoxo:** Chloe, you asleep?

Of course it had to be the star of her fantasy. Chloe groaned with resignation into her pillow, still able to remember Max's moaning face.  
She could swear that she still felt the touch of her lips.

 **[08:31]che:** not anymore  
**[08:31]che:** thx 2 u  
**[08:31]che:** whats up  
**[08:32]maxoxo:** oh no, Im so sorry :(  
**[08:32]che:** its already done  
**[08:32]che:** so chill w/ emojis and tell me  
**[08:33]che:** whats so goddamn important  
**[08:33]che:** that u had 2 text me at dawn  
**[08:34]maxoxo:** its way past dawn  
**[08:34]maxoxo:** and I have a problem  
**[08:34]che:** shoot  
**[08:35]maxoxo:** how do you feed a snake?

Chloe blinked, suddenly not sure if she wasn't still dreaming this all up. _'If so, then I have to talk with my brain about what each of us considers as 'entertainment'.'_  
But it wasn't a dream. Even though the topic seemed a little ridiculous.

 **[08:36]che:** wtf?  
**[08:36]che:** mice i guess?  
**[08:36]che:** u have google u know  
**[08:37]maxoxo:** like alive ones? :(  
**[08:37]che:** yeah they have to hunt n shit  
**[08:38]che:** wont eat smth dead  
**[08:38]che:** w8 they maybe eat frozen too  
**[08:39]maxoxo:** omg Im not going to feed them to the snake  
**[08:39]maxoxo:** thats really cruel  
**[08:39]maxoxo:** I dont have any frozen mice  
**[08:40]maxoxo:** ^ which is also cruel btw  
**[08:41]che:** wat  
**[08:41]che:** k dont know whats goin on  
**[08:41]che:** but i want 2 be part of it  
**[08:42]che:** be there in 30  
**[08:42]che:** dont do ANYTHING w/o me

She turned of her screen and forced herself to get up. _'Welp, there goes my free day.'_ Not that she really minded if she could spend it with Max.  
And, apparently, with a snake.  
But first things first – she needed a quick shower. A cold one.

\----------

When driving Chloe usually let her mind wander. She still focused on the road, sure, but her thoughts were all over the place.  
Like right now.

She was mad at herself, particularly at her brain. It should know better than to feed her with dreams like that – especially since it was at least the third one this week.  
The first one seemed so real that, after waking up, she was sure that it really happened. Only after a couple of minutes she realized that it was all just a really vivid creation of her sleeping mind.  
The last time she had a dream so real was... When she was in high school, maybe?

It really screwed up with her plans of not thinking about Max. _'With this pace I will maybe get over her when I'm forty.'_  
Not that she was really doing anything to _actually_ stop this crush. She was still flirting with her, still texting constantly, still eager to help with anything, no matter how stupid or small.  
And she was doing it again.  
But, to be fair, if anybody told her something about snakes she would probably immediately drop everything and run to them. Snakes were fucking awesome.

They had to stop doing this... Whatever _this_ even was between them. It was getting more and more problematic – after every meeting Chloe couldn't help but feel wretched. The thought that Max was apparently not feeling the same way kept growing in the back of her head, casting shadows on everything else. She would do something if she did _like_ Chloe like that, right? Not just blush and look away, like she almost always did.  
Every time brunette smiled or laughed or looked at her with those blue, lustrous eyes or, fuck, even _breathed_ in her general direction, Chloe felt tortured.  
Yet she still kept coming back.  
She really had to do something about it.

When she stepped out of the elevator she found, to her surprise, Max standing in front of her apartment, with a grim look at her face. She spotted Chloe almost instantly and smiled with relief.  
She was apparently waiting for her for a while now.

Chloe lifted her hand. “Yo, MaxGyver!” She shouted across the corridor, not concerned at all about the neighbors. They were probably out, working right now anyway. “So, what's the deal with this snake?” She asked when she got closer.

“Come with me.” Max just responded, leading her further down the hallway. They passed her door, instead stopping in front of the one in the far back. Without second thoughts brunette opened them and nodded at Chloe to come inside.

“So, this is kinda stupid.” Max started, letting her look around the room in the meantime. Oldfashioned furniture, knitted coverlets, billions of pictures on the walls of some people and cute cats, TV made probably in the 90s'... Yep, it was an old person's house, without a doubt. “I have this neighbor...”

“Let me guess, a nice and old lady?” Chloe interrupted, suspiciously poking a small, ceramic gnome with her finger.  
Max smiled. “What gave it away? Anyway, she is really nice, stereotypical grandmother. She brought me homemade cookies after I moved here and invited for some tea.” She said, opening one of the doors and gesturing to Chloe to come inside. “She left a couple of days ago to spend some time with her grandkids and asked me to take care of her pet.”

“She didn't tell you what kind of pet it was, did she?” Chloe asked amused, already knowing the punchline to this story.  
Max shook her head. “No. Only that 'Fluffy' should be fed at Friday or Saturday, whenever I had some time. I never saw a cat or dog in her home so I assumed that she has a bunny or something like that. Name fitted.” She moved a little to let Chloe slip past her into the room. “Che, meet Fluffy.”

In front of their eyes there was an enormous terrarium, occupied by a big snake, easily 4ft long. The pattern on it's body consisted mostly of dark brown and yellow blotches.  
Chloe shuffled closer to the glass, slanting a little to get a better look. “Fluffy is fucking rad.” She said, not bothering to hide her admiration.

“Yeah, Fluffy is also hungry.” Max grunted, much less enthusiastic about their new friend.  
“Then feed him. You must have mice here somewhere.” Chloe took her eyes off the snake and looked around. She guessed that they wouldn't be here, in the bedroom, but who knows old people.

“Uhm, in the adjacent room. A lot of mice, with a lot of food and everything, there are even baby mice.” Max confirmed with saddened voice. “Small, baby mice, Chloe! I can't feed their parents to Fluffy!” She whined, crossing her arms on her chest, clearly uncomfortable with this whole idea.

“Max, some people are breeding mice particularly for this purpose. It's normal.” Chloe pointed out, straightening her back and focusing her gaze at brunette. “Do you want me to do this?” She asked, like if there was any doubt of that. Of course she wanted her to do this, if she only wanted information then she would use the Internet.

Max looked at her with sad eyes. “I... Please. I really can't do this.” She muttered, glancing away as soon as the last syllable escaped her mouth.  
Chloe nodded, placing a hand on Max's shoulder and squeezing it firmly. “I'll handle this.” She assured her.

They left the room and brunette leaded her to another, slightly smaller one. It looked like a storeroom – there were boxes everywhere, as well as a lot of empty packages, probably once containing food for rodents.  
Speaking of, there was another terrarium here, almost as big as the first one.  
But this was full of frantically moving mice.

Chloe looked inside, instantly greeted with a ton of curious little eyes. _'Damn, they are actually kinda cute.'_ She thought, reaching for one of the bigger ones, happy that it didn't try to bite her.  
She hesitated for a moment, suddenly full of the same reluctance as Max must have felt. She cursed quietly under her breath.  
_'It's too late to back out now.'_  
Chloe sighed but went back to Fluffy. She couldn't see Max – brunette was probably waiting outside.

She glanced at the mouse for the last time. “Sorry, little dude. It's not your lucky day.” She murmured, opening the terrarium and putting the rodent in it. She waited for a while, curious to see if Fluffy was even interested in his dinner.  
He was.

Chloe stepped out of the apartment, almost bumping into Max. They exchanged glances, not really feeling compelled to speak about what just happened.  
She sighed and locked the doors. Chloe stopped herself from trying to cheer her up by saying that it could be worse – some snakes eat rabbits.  
She had a feeling that it wouldn't really help.

“So, any plans for today?” She asked instead, when they were inside Max's living room.  
“Che, I never have any plans.”  
“Hm, that's not good.” Chloe sat on the couch. “Want to change that?”

Max sent her a curious look before she sat beside her. “What do you have in mind?”  
“Well, since you woke me up ridiculously early, from an amazing dream no less, to ask for help, it would be just fair for you to offer me some breakfast. I only had time to shower before I got here and I'm grumpy when I'm hungry.” She shrugged, with that smug smile again present on her face.

“You are always grumpy.” Max rolled her eyes, chuckling, already starting to forget about this snake adventure. “But yeah, you earned it. However, I hope that you remember that I can't cook?”  
“You didn't learn anything from my teachings? Disappointed am I, my young padawan.” Chloe shook her head theatrically.

“Hey, it's not my fault-”  
_'-that you are so goddamn distracting.'_  
“-that I was too amazed by your skills to take notes.” Max shrugged defensively. “But if you really want then I can make you some pancakes?”  
Chloe smiled. “Deal.”

\----------

**30.11.2017 – two weeks later**

Max was standing on her balcony, tightly wrapped in a hoodie (her own, for once). Sky was almost dark from all the clouds and rain pouring down from them. She observed how the drops crashed on the metal railing, clearly bored. Luckily, she was standing far enough to not get wet.

She sniffled, looking for tissues in her pocket with her free hand. “Yes, I know.” Max muttered, gripping tighter the phone she held near her ear. She was standing here for a couple of minutes and already had enough of this conversation.  
Or, better name, of this monologue she was presented with.

“Yes, mom.” She nodded again after a while, forcing herself not to yawn. Talking with her mother was always like this, especially on the phone.  
So, although she loved her parents, she refused to phone them more than once a month.

She coughed quietly. This flu was irritating her. “No, I'm not sick, mom. Really, just under the weather a little.” She assured, for a moment contemplating the idea of maybe getting inside. This rain and cold wind were probably bad for her.  
“Yes, I will make some chicken soup.” Max muttered into the speaker.  
There was no chance that she would actually make any chicken soup.

She didn't like to speak on the phone. Text messages were better than calls, period. You could always go back to them to check informations or confirm dates, without bothering the other person because you are forgetful.

Max heard some alarming words, suddenly realizing that she zoned out for a minute. “Wait mom, something interrupted. What do you mean by saying, that you will handle the accommodation?” She asked, much less lethargic than she was just a second ago.

A long, silent moment passed before Max's pupils widened and she answered again. “I don't know about this, mom, I- Yes, of course, but- Mom, let me say something without interrupting, please.” She sighed, a little upset. She didn't want to fight with her right now, it would be a disaster.

She sniffled again, wiping her nose with the tissue. “I'm sorry. I just don't know if it's a good idea. I'm not really in the mood to celebrate Christmas and it's not because it's not even December yet.” She started, trying to defuse the situation a little.

Since she ended her education she didn't spend any holidays with her parents, not to mention her grandparents. She never managed to go back on time to celebrate.  
And she didn't really care. Holidays in the Caulfield family were... Bland.

Her mother was always spending hours in the kitchen just to prepare the food, father was working his shift and Max didn't even try to help with preparations – there was no point. She tried when she was younger and her mother basically shoved her out of the kitchen, yelling at her. Everything had to be like she wanted it to be, period.

So she always did everything by herself and was tired as hell when they were finally sitting at the table, just like dad after his shift. So they just sat and listened to the TV while they were eating.

Even the gifts were lacking the Christmas spirit. A few years ago they agreed to just give Max some cash as a present – she knew better what she wanted and they had no idea about photography stuff she may want.  
Well, it was true, but still...  
And Max always had trouble with buying gifts. So, year after year, she kept getting something small and silly.

It was not magical. It was okay and her mother clearly cared but that was it.  
Just okay.

So now, when her parents wanted to visit her this year, she was trying to prevent that from happening. “I know we haven't celebrated Christmas together for a long time, mom. But do you really want to drive here? What about dad's job?”

She was bad at preventing things.

“And grandma will let you sleep at their home?” Max tried for the last time, blurting out the only argument she had left, aware that it was a weak one. Of course that her grandparents won't be against this idea.

Max sighed, giving up. “Okay, sure. In my house?” She suggested, because it was the right thing to do. She never properly invited them for a dinner since she moved here.

She sneezed, hiding her nose in the tissue. “Sorry. No, I'm really not sick. What did you say about Chloe?” Max asked, not really catching what her mother said about her friend.  
“Oh... Um, I don't know? And don't think so?” She answered, after a quick consideration. “I can invite her too in that case.”

It was a bad idea, probably. Sure, she would love to spend Christmas with Chloe - but not with Chloe _and_ her own family. It could be a disaster.  
Especially after that talk her friend had with her mother weeks ago.

Max was also surprised that mom proposed something like that. Maybe she is just thankful and want to talk with Chloe again? Or she was so desperate to spend some time with her only daughter, that she thought inviting Chloe would cheer Max up.

Something inside her heart stinged at that thought. _'Damnit Caulfield, your mother just wants to visit, she hasn't seen you in months. Be a good child and agree without whining.'_

“Uhm, yes, okay. We will talk later about details.” Max forced her voice to sound a little bit happier. “I love you too. Bye, mom.” She hanged up, coughing again.

_'How the hell am I supposed to ask Chloe about this?'_

She bit her lip, leaning on the glass door. It got... Weird between them. They haven't really talked since that snake business and it was alarming.  
But Max didn't want to bore her with her concern. She asked already if there was something wrong and Chloe stated that she just needed some time and distance.  
What kind of lame explanation even was that? She was going to calculate speed or what?

But Chloe started to act differently even earlier. She looked like she was trying to avert her gaze whenever she could. Also, she was done with the teasing.  
And Max missed it more than she could even imagine she would.  
She also missed other things – Chloe's jokes, character, voice, smell, eyes...

Brunette sighed with irritation. This whole situation was still new for her and she had no idea what to do. No one ever told her what she should do in case she ever fell for her best friend. They don't write about this stuff in textbooks, for fuck's sake.  
Max only recently embraced the fact, that she apparently wasn't 100% straight. So yeah, it was all new.

Rachel popped in her thoughts. Apparently it was nothing new for Chloe since she openly admitted that she had a girlfriend a few years ago.  
Max didn't really know anything about her, besides the fact that she was a cheating whore.  
But she assumed a lot.

She sighed again, abandoning that line of thought. There was no point in thinking about the past when she couldn't even deal with the present.  
To be fair, Max wasn't even sure if Chloe liked her that way. She was just some shy hipster, with a ton a baggage that she was hauling behind her. Sure, she kept teasing her but it could be just a part of her character.

 _'Bullshit and you know it.'_  The more confident part of her consciousness, the one she usually ignored, whispered to her from the back of her brain.  
_'So why is she avoiding me now?'_   She asked herself, closing her eyes and pressing her head to the cold glass.  
_'Maybe she finally got bored with waiting for you. How long you can keep running after someone without any kind of encouragement?'_

Max furrowed her brow. Was she really running after her? Waiting for her? Sure, sometimes it seemed like Chloe was flirting with her but she was never really sure if it just wasn't her imagination.  
All the 'accidental' touches could really be accidental. Teasing could be just that, something natural, nothing more.  
Maybe Max was just sensitive to things like that since she learned that Chloe was swinging this way?

 _'Bullshit again.'_  
“Oh, shut up.” She murmured into the air, opening her eyes.  
They should really write about this stuff in textbooks.

She will text her tomorrow, Max decided. Maybe she'll invite her... Somewhere nice.  
A louder cough escaped her throat. She should really get out of this balcony. **  
**

 

 _But ever so slowly_  
_Turns the key of time_  
_In a rusty lock_  
_Of broken promises_  
  
_My Sun - Amorphis_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who is in a Christmas-y mood already? :V  
> So yeah, another long chapter. Please enjoy?  
> And take care, people, because YOU are amazing <3


	10. I remember one of my friends telling me to go ahead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, over 9k words!  
> And it's a weird chapter, be aware of that.

_Once I was someone new_  
_I was chosen for a while_  
_Then with time I am changing_  
_At least that is what they say_

 

**07.12.2017 – a week later**

'Tomorrow' became 'in two days', 'in two days' evolved into 'when I get rid of this cough', 'when I get rid of this cough' changed to 'Chloe help, I need a ride to the doctor, I think I'm dying'.  
Yeah, she should've written that stupid text when she originally planned to do so.

“You should've told me earlier.” Chloe muttered, too busy with the overly long leaflet she was examining to even glance at brunette. She was sitting on the chair near her bed, still fully dressed in her jacket and boots.

Max let out a quiet, almost martyred groan and wrapped herself tighter with the quilt. “It wasn't so bad earlier.” She stated, half awake, sniffing. To say that she sounded 'bad' was like to say that ice was chilly - understatement of the century. Her breathing was loud, heavy, interrupted with sneezes and almost violent coughing fits.  
Not to even mention how she looked.

Chloe rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed. “Yeah, because you go to the doctor when you're in the critical condition, never sooner.” She growled, way more aggressive than she wanted.

“Sorry, mom.” A faint, half-assed apology came from the bed. It was hard to tell if Max was being sarcastic when she sounded like a dying animal but Chloe was pretty sure that she was.

She angrily lowered her hand, letting it hit her thigh with a quiet slap. “Max, for fuck's sake.” She growled, turning her head to look at the bed. From her position she could only see the back of brunette's hair, buried in the pillow. “You want to die of pneumonia or some other shit?” Chloe asked, nervously crumpling the poor leaflet between her fingers.

“Sure, why not. It would be fitting after all...” Max muttered, feeling more and more sleepy with each passing minute. Medicines made her drowsy and fever basically destroyed her ability to think about what she was saying.

“Don't you fucking dare saying shit like that, Caulfield.” Chloe warned, a little taken aback by brunette's response.

Max shifted, turning a little and lifting herself up on her elbows to take a look at her interlocutor. “Or what, Price? You'll start to avoid me again?” It was her turn to growl – or, rather, _try_ to growl. It came out really weakly and nonthreatening because of her runny nose and irritated throat.

Chloe lifted her brow, even more surprised by Max's sudden snappy tone. “I'm not avoiding you.”

Brunette rolled her eyes. “Yhym, sure. And the fact that the last time we met was two weeks ago is just a coincidence?” She muttered, with voice full of resentfulness. “Should I be delighted that you agreed to help me today, _again_? I'm that much of a problem for you that I have to be sick or injured for you to give a rat's ass?” She added, almost instantly spiraling into a coughing fit.

Chloe felt a sudden sting of sadness in her chest. _'Is she seriously thinking that?'  
_ “I was busy!” She responded, definitely not wanting to dwell on the second part of brunette's utterance. “People _sometimes can_ be busy, Max!”

“Come on, too busy to respond in any way to some stupid texts? For two weeks?!” Both of them gradually started to get louder and louder, quickly approaching shouting levels. “What's going on? Are you trying to show me how it is to be ignored or something? This is some kind of revenge or what?!” Max snarled, right now fully sitting on the mattress with red face – hard to say if because of the fever or the argument.  
Probably both.

Chloe rolled her eyes and sighed with impatience, like she was talking to a kid. “How many times I have to repeat this: I don't fucking care about the past! I seriously couldn't care less right now if you abandoned me when you were a stupid brat!” She shouted, rapidly standing up and tilting over the chair she was occupying. It hit the nightstand, knocking off most of the stuff on it onto the ground.  
Neither one of them cared right now.

“Then why are you keeping your distance all of the sudden?! What did I do?!” Max asked, not intimidated by Chloe's sudden movement. Something shifted in her voice a little.

“You did nothing, ok?! It's not you!” Chloe answered, also with much less venomous tone than before. They were still shouting at each other but it was more because of vexation, not pure anger.

“Then why you suddenly don't want me in your life?!”  
Chloe snorted, almost amused by that question. “Fuck, Max, I want you to be part of my fucking life!”  
“Then what the fuck is your problem?!”

Chloe threw her fist into the poor nightstand. “Not you! Goddammit, I'm sorry, ok?! Can we stop this? You are shaking.” She basically flopped onto the bed with resignation, closing her eyes in an attempt to calm down.  
Breathing heavily, Max looked down on her arms. She was trembling a little, with nails painfully rammed into her palms – right and left one.  
She felt... Strange.

Quickly relaxing her muscles, she lied down again on the pillow with a sigh that evolved into a weak cough. Chloe opened her eyes, a little startled by this unexpected move. She lifted her hand and placed it on Max's forehead when she didn't encounter any objections. “Look... We will talk later, ok? You're burning, you should get some rest.” She stated, standing up.

Max wanted to say something but instead of words she let out another coughing fit.  
Chloe quickly grabbed stuff she knocked from the carpet. “Go to sleep. I will make you soup or something in the meantime.”  
Brunette only nodded in response, not looking at her when she exited the room.

\----------

When Chloe returned later, Max was sleeping, curled into a fetal position and almost completely covered up by her quilt. She could only see her brown, a little too long hair spreaded out on the pillow.  
Thankful for the fact, that the floor here wasn't as squeaky as in her house, Chloe carefully made her way to the chair and sat on it.

She shouldn't be here. She should be sitting in her own living room, drinking and watching some stupid shit – in other words, she should be doing completely nothing.  
And right now she just finished cooking a soup.

It was not fair what she did, she knew it. Abandoning brunette like that, without a word of explanation was really shitty, to put it mildly. But she didn't stop to think about that – she was too preoccupied with her own feelings to even imagine what would Max's reaction be to it.  
And she didn't expect it to be so... Dramatic. Sure, she was groggy and not really thinking clearly but still.

But the worst part of this whole situation? It didn't help Chloe. This whole 'separating herself' and 'avoiding Max' did absolutely nothing.  
_'Maybe I should, I don't know, talk with her? Sure, risky and eccentric way to deal with problems but what could possibly go wrong? Besides everything?'_

She closed her eyes, thinking. The issue with that idea was that Chloe was awful at that kind of stuff. Sure, flirting was one thing, joking around too but sitting down and _talking_ , like a proper adult?  
_'It's complicated. Congratulations, Price, you made a troublesome situation even more complicated than it was previously. Like everything you get you hands on. David was right when he told you that you're useless.'_

She furred her brow. “Fuck him.” Chloe muttered under her breath, angry at herself for all that self-loathing. She didn't screw up everything yet, right? She is still in Max's house... But that may be only because brunette was too weak to throw her out.

“Fuck who?” A quiet question caught her attention.  
She opened her eyes, just in time to see Max turning around to face her. “My step-fuck.” Chloe answered truthfully.  
“You look like shit.” She added, even more truthfully.

Max sneezed. “I feel like shit. Why are you thinking of him?”  
“I'm not. I just remembered a thing he used to say.” Chloe shrugged, clearly trying to communicate that she didn't want to speak about that.  
Max didn't catch that subtle hint. “Nothing good, I guess.” She tried to chuckle but only cough escaped her mouth. Not a pleasant sound.

“Speaking of family... What are you doing for Christmas?” She asked when she calmed a little, like it was the most important thing to discuss right now.  
“Uhhh..?” How many times Max caught her speechless with some kind of strange question? “Uh, I'll be probably home, drinking, like always?” She said the first thing that came to her mind – which happened to be also completely true.

Brunette's face dropped. “Seriously? No, that's not an option.”  
Chloe couldn't help but chuckle quietly. “Oh? What, are you banning me from drinking this year? It already became my tradition, Caulfield, and you do not break tradition.”  
“Tradition.” Max repeated with a hushed voice. “Your tradition sucks. Want to replace it with even weaker one?”

Chloe lifted her brow, curious. “What do you have in mind, Maximus?”  
“My mother called. They want to come here for Christmas, along with my grandparents. She asked if you would like to come too.” Max quickly summed up, stopping only once to cough.

Without really thinking, Chloe reached for the small bottle on the nightstand. It was time for another dose anyway. “Seriously? Your mother wants me at your Christmas dinner?” She asked sceptically, handing Max a small, plastic spoon and already opened bottle.

Brunette took the cough syrup. “It wouldn't be the first time... And I want to spend holidays with you.”  
“Yeah, but that was when we were kids...” _'And not adults with tons of baggage.'_ Chloe shrugged, not really keen on this idea.  
But she did notice that Max said 'I want' and not 'they want'.

“Please, Che. I don't want to spend time with them alone.” Brunette sighed, sending the taller woman a begging glance.  
“Okay, wait for a second. I have a reason to not give a fuck about my... 'Family', but you?” Chloe asked, putting the bottle away when Max handed it to her after a while.

“I _do_ give a fuck about them.” She sighed, turning her gaze on the ceiling. “Just... I know how it will be. Mom will look at me like I'm a hurt puppy and will treat me like one. I can guarantee that. Dad, on the other hand, will try to act like nothing bad ever happened and that would be fine... But sooner or later, depends how much he will drink, he will ask me to come back with them and find a _normal_ job, for some magazine or newspaper.” She sighed, rubbing her eyes. “And don't even get me started on grandma. She's... Difficult to work with. She can be very _vocal_ about things that are bothering her. It's easier to just ignore her or nod. Grandpa is nice, but he rarely speaks. So, yeah, I really don't want to deal with that kind of condensated pity alone.” She turned her head again to look at Chloe. “What's worse, last time I saw my grandparents we had a big argument. So this time it could be _interesting_. And there is also the fact that Christmas with my family is usually boring but that much you know already.”

Chloe sighed. She wouldn't call them 'boring' but she knew what Max meant. “Uhm, yeah. I can drop by if you really want. But it's a terrible idea.”  
“Yeah, it is.” Max smiled weakly. “These will be the most awkward hours of this year, I can assure you of that. But I will feel better with you there. Also, someone has to help me with cooking.”  
Chloe snorted. “Sure. Let's appease your family with food, that's the best strategy.”

Just like that, the argument was forgotten for the time being.  
Sooner or later they had to talk about it and they knew it.  
But postponing the inevitable was so much easier.

\----------

**15.12.2017 – 8 days later**

She was standing on a high cliff, under the abandoned lighthouse, in a city that everybody forgot about. All the trees around her were burning with an unnatural, orange fire that seemed to be brighter than the sun.

A thunder struck somewhere near, for a brief moment suppressing the crackling noise of fire eating the old wood. The storm was raging around her, dark clouds above were just circling seemingly in one place with an unnatural speed, dropping big, black drops that were dying her clothes, hair, even skin.

Max turned around to look at Arcadia Bay, sure that it will be destroyed, swallowed by fire just like the forest.  
But no – there was just no city behind her. It was just an enormous, untouched patch of ground, deprived of... Well, everything. Not even grass grew there, at least Max couldn't really see any from so far.

“It's so easy to get rid of something, don't you think? Well, maybe not a whole city but it's still manageable.” She heard a familiar voice, louder than the violent fire even though the words were said in a very casual, calm way – they definitely couldn't be classified as shouting. Max was sure that it wasn't possible but hey, here we are.

She glanced over, knowing exactly who will stand behind her. “Just wipe it out. Poof and just like that everything and everyone is gone. Not like this, of course, this is... Nothing. I just guessed that you wouldn't really want to see all of the mangled and crushed bodies under the ruins. This is a sufficient metaphor.” The small, raspy chuckle that escaped her throat was one of the most horrible sounds Max has ever heard. It just couldn't belong to a healthy human being. “One utterly stupid, egoistical decision and everyone is doomed. And for who? For _that_ waste of space and air? So fucking predictable. But hey, _you_ don't have to worry about that – _your_ Arcadia is still fine and dandy. This decision was never _yours_ to make.”

Max kept quiet. She really didn't like the intonation that the woman used but knew better than to ask. She didn't want to learn what it was all about.  
Besides, she wouldn't get a straight, simple answer. That much she already found out after second or third night of this stupid charades.

Woman shook her head with disappointment. “What, not very talkative today? That's fine, let's have it your way then, the stubborn way. Maybe a change of scenery will encourage you.”

Before Max even blinked everything around her shifted and she was suddenly standing in the middle of a meadow, with sun shining right into her eyes.  
She squinted them, trying to spot... Well, anything.

There was only one thing that stood out from all of the rotting flowers and grass around her – a tall, beautiful woman was standing in the field just a couple of steps away from Max. She was dressed in a white gown and looked _so_ familiar – brunette was sure that she recognized her from somewhere.

She felt a bony, slim hand gripping her shoulder with such force that it made her wince in pain. But she forced herself to keep quiet and to not look over. _'Dear God, just don't look over right now, you made that mistake once.'_

Max heard a wet, unpleasant sound when the hand squeezed her still damp clothes. “But you made your own decisions already, equally stupid. Not quite devastating as annihilating the entire town but still. _You_ destroyed a lot of lives on _your_ own.” Again, this familiar voice. Now she could hear it almost directly in her ear but that was not the worst.  
The worst was the smell that came with it. A vile, pungent odor that tackled her nostrils was reminding her of rotting meat and mustiness mixed with something far too sweet.  
It made her nauseous.

A stranger/familiar woman moved a little towards Max. Only now she spotted a piece of incandescent metal that the woman was holding in her hand.

“You are not real. None of this is real.” Brunette muttered, focusing her eyes on the approaching figure. The grip on her shoulder tightened even more and this time she couldn't help but whimper, really surprised that she didn't hear any of her bones breaking.

“Maybe not in the way you mean. But what you did to her _is_ real.” Her shoulder was suddenly free, much to Max's relief.  
She didn't have time to be happy about that for long because seconds later something grasped her left arm and everything went to hell for a moment.

She was not supposed to feel anything. Not in that hand, that arm, that shoulder. So why she couldn't help but scream, when she clearly felt a sharp, burning sensation piercing her palm?  
Nightmares have their own laws, apparently.

“Don't worry, Maxine.” That annoying voice. Max would turn around this time but she was way too occupied with cursing and trying to get away from the woman dressed in white that was causing her pain. “Not real, right? Remember? And even if it was real, you already have some experience how to treat wounds from things like that. Here, let me show you something else.”

Everything around her vanished once more and she was suddenly kneeling in front of a deep hole, with a big, marble tombstone embedded in the ground on the other side. She was desperately gripping her wrist, like it was supposed to help with anything.

Her own blood was lazily dripping from her fingers onto the ground, mixing with the greasy remains of that storm and forming a small, blackish puddle in front of her. It didn't want to soak into the dirt.

She didn't read what was etched in the cold stone – her gaze was fully focused on the bottom of the hole. A single, colorless eye was leering at her. It was attached to a partially deformed head of a man, clearly crushed by something heavy – just like the entire left part of his body.  
He was dressed in a dirty, black suit and looked, to be fair, ridiculous.  
Something was faintly moving beneath the cloth in a chaotic, uncoordinated way.

Max jumped a little when she heard a loud bang beside her that left her ears ringing for a while.  
Seconds later a limp, lifeless body dressed in white dropped down into the grave, with a repugnant noise crashing into the man's body. A faint smell of sulfur and rot filled the space around Max but she didn't even notice.  
Breathing heavy, she looked at the tombstone.

**'Aaron Whiteburn  
** February 18, 1993 – August 14, 2017  
A man greatly beloved.'

Right below, in front of her eyes, another epitaph started engraving itself in the stone.

**'Amélie Whiteburn  
** June 12, 1990 – December 10, 2017  
Resting with those she loved.'

Max groaned, quickly standing up and stepping back. “No.” She looked at the only other person left in this void. “No, fuck you, this _can't_ be true.”  
Another unpleasant chuckle. “Another dollar for the swear jar, Maxine. You don't have to believe me on that. I'm _not real_ , am I now?” A small shrug accompanied her last words.

Max clenched her fists and quickly eliminated the distance between her and the woman. Her hand was still painfully throbbing but the wound was gone. “Leave me alone.” She practically hissed from between her teeth. “You can look like me but you're not _me_. You're not _real_. Nothing what you say is true.”

Her almost exact Copy – the only thing that was different was that she looked malnourished, sick and deadly tired - laughed quietly. “Check that for yourself then. You have Google in that meaningless city, don't you? I'm sure that a suicide of a young widow, whose husband tragically died while he was deployed was a big deal.” An awful fetor engulfed Max's face, causing her eyes to water.

She shook her head, taking a few meek steps back. “No, it's not true, fuck you. This is not what I wanted. This is not how it was supposed to be. This is _not_ my fault.”

The Copy frowned, looking at her with clear disapproval. “You were saying something very different just weeks ago. You can't keep on like this, bottling up everything and pretending it's fine. It's not.” Max took a few steps back when she saw that her Copy followed her. She quickly backed up right into the hole, losing her balance with a surprised squeal.

Max felt a yank on her shirt and suddenly she was hanging right above the hole, with the bony hand that grabbed her clothes being the only thing preventing her from dropping down.

“You can feel it, right? That pressure? That accumulating power? Of course you can. _I_ can and I'm _you_ so-”  
“You are _not_ me!” Max growled, interrupting her. She was helplessly swinging her legs in the air. Her hands were tightly clenching on her Copy's forearm.  
She could feel the skin under her nails ripping apart with ease, how a thick, cold liquid slowly spreaded onto her fingers and palms.

“You still don't get it, do you? You still think that you can just shove it into a closet and lock it away? Like it is nothing?” A sigh escaped her chapped lips. “This is all so fucking typical of you. You're truly impossible to work with... I just really hope that you will finally open your eyes and do something before it's too late. For the sake of us both.” She sounded sad. Bitter.

She glanced at Max for the last time before she started to loosen her grip. “Oh, and Maxine? Everyone has to deal with some shit in their lives. But you? You deserve it. Think about it from time to time, maybe when you murder someone again.” She smiled once more and it was the last thing that Max saw before she fell down, embracing the dark.

She woke up with a quiet, tired groan, all sweaty and grasping for air. She quickly looked at her hands, sure that she would see mud and oily, darkish blood.  
They were clean, of course. But Max could feel a small tingling in her palms, like she sat on them for way too long.  
In both of her palms.

She grabbed a glass of water that she left on the nightstand, swallowing the remains in one big gulp.  
A little musty, warm liquid that invaded her throat brought some memories back.

Max sighed, reaching for her phone. She spent some time just twirling it around in her fingers, not sure if she really wanted to check anything.  
_'I... She couldn't be right. It was just some stupid shit manifesting itself in this way. Guilt or something, it has to be.'_

But she was sure that she couldn't recall Aaron's surname. They sometimes called him 'Whitey' but that was it.  
Maybe she did, once? But forgot? And this was all her subconscious, just dropping hints?

She unlocked the screen and quickly typed 'Whiteburn' into the search engine.  
Brunette didn't have to look for long. The very first article told her everything.  
'WIDOW OF A SOLDIER FOUND DEAD IN HER HOME'  
With a quiet curse Max tapped on the link, quickly glancing over the article.  
Dated 11th of December, neighbors heard a single gunshot the night before, woman aged 27, widow...

A sudden notification appeared on her screen and Max almost threw her phone into the wall, startled.  
“Jesus, fuck...” She breathed calmly in and out before checking the messages.

**[08:42]che:** max  
**[08:42]che:** get up  
**[08:42]che:** and get down here  
**[08:43]che:** i have smth 4 u

Max groaned audibly into the empty room.

**[08:44]maxoxo:** so early?  
**[08:44]maxoxo:** is this your revenge for the snake thing?  
**[08:44]maxoxo:** give me a sec

\----------

“Are you completely out of your mind?” Chloe sent her a clearly offended gaze. She was standing near her truck with her arms crossed, dressed in a warm coat, a black beanie covering her head and with cheeks flushed from the cold.

Max was standing in front of her, dressed in a hoodie she quickly put on and with ruffled hair. It was quite obvious that she just woke up.  
“I'm the one that's out of my mind?” She looked at Chloe incredulously, still a little shaken after that dream.

Nightmares came back after that stupid argument they had a week ago. But this time they were very different from the ones she had after she woke up in that hospital.  
Her old nightmares were chaotic but, ultimately, meaningless – like some child took her traumatic memories and squished them together randomly. She dreamed of screams, fire, grotesquely wounded bodies pinned under the burning metal... Sometimes she just stumbled in the dark, feeling like she was suffocating. Yeah, it varied a lot. But she never felt any real pain.

This new nightmares were... Concerning, to put it mildly. She remembered them in great detail, and, even if they were weird, they had some sense.  
No, worse – they had continuity. Max really felt like she was talking with someone real each night.  
It scared her.  
And there was also the part with Amélie...

"Well, duh! I'm perfectly sane." Chloe rolled her eyes. "You need at least a little of Christmas spirit in your house! You should have your tree decorated weeks ago."

Max looked over Chloe's shoulder where a big, green and probably way too expensive Christmas tree was residing for the time being. “Che... I think it's too tall to fit in my living room. Besides, how the heck do you want to even get it on the 7th floor? It's too big for the elevator and stairs are really narrow.”

A big grin appeared on Chloe face. “What do you mean 'how'? With your help of course!”  
“Do you want to get us both killed?”  
“Look Max, you can't really do much about it. I even brought chains, lights, baubles...” Chloe seemed really proud of this fact – probably because she almost forgot about bringing decorations in the first place.

She pointed with her thumb to the passenger seat. Through the dirty window Max could see some boxes stacked there neatly. A silver garland was hanging from one of them, patiently waiting.

“Ugh, fine.” Brunette rolled her eyes again, taking a few steps towards the back of the truck. “I just hope it's not as heavy as it looks.”

\----------

It was not, thank God.  
The bigger problem was the sheer size of that thing. Turning with it on the stairs was a real hassle.

Max sat down on the couch, exhausted. Once again she cursed the fact that she lived so high up. The view was definitely not worth it.  
The tree was just short enough to fit – with a star on top it will probably be barely brushing the ceiling.

Chloe looked equally tired but was much more happy about all this. “It's perfect!” She exclaimed grinning, standing in front of the damn thing, with hands proudly on her hips.

Max couldn't help but chuckle. “It should be a little shorter.” She stated, caviling just to mess with her.  
“Nah dude, this is great.” Chloe turned around, looking for boxes they brought from her truck. “Get up your lazy ass and help me with this. I'll let you take care of the lower branches. Someone more... _Qualified_ should take care of the top part.”

An indignant scoff escaped Max's mouth. “Hey, I'm not that short. I can deal with decorating a stupid Christmas tree.” She got up, taking off her hoodie. She felt way to warm after all that carrying and couldn't care less about showing relatively fresh scars on her arms. Not to Chloe.

“Oh, is that so?” Again with that sly grin.  
Max was not about to withdraw, not this time. “Of course.”  
“Well, in that case you won't mind putting this on the top.” Chloe threw a plastic star her way, which brunette caught without any problems.  
“Uh...” She looked again at the tree, suddenly doubting her abilities. _'Maybe if I jump... Or use a chair.'_

Chloe laughed when she spotted her uncertainty. “It's too late to back out now. You'll figure it out, MaxGyver.”

\----------

Max didn't figure it out. Mostly thanks to Chloe who kept distracting her as much as she could – mostly by wrapping garlands around her in surprise attacks or throwing straw ornaments at her... Or putting them in her hair instead of on the tree.

So right now, Max stood with that stupid star in her hand, thinking. They put on everything else, including even the lights. She already tried jumping, tilting the tree a little, she even risked just throwing it desperately which caused Chloe to laugh uncontrollably.  
Chair was out of the question – apparently it was considered as 'cheating'.

“You okay there, Super Max? At this rate your parents will be here before you finish.” Chloe asked innocently and brunette could tell that she was trying really hard not to laugh again. She could _h_ _ear_ her grinning.

“Oh, piss off. I will figure it out.” Max murmured, deep inside knowing that she won't be able to do it without any help. _'Maybe if I take a ladder? Using a chair was cheating, nobody said anything about a la-'_

She felt a strong pair of arms closing around her hips and suddenly the floor was gone. She squeaked in surprise, losing her balance and trying to grab a nearby wall. For a moment she was sure that, as soon as her fingers get a hold of anything, she would feel that sticky, cold blood swallowing them.

“Jesus, Chloe! You can't do that to people!” Max hissed, a lot more aggressive than she wanted to, when she finally regained stability. Her breath quickened a little and she could feel her heart beating against her ribs.  
She was not ready for something like that at all, not today.

“Chill, I got it, I'm not going to drop you... Sorry.” Chloe mumbled basically into the small of brunette's back. Max just now became truly aware of the warmth that was engulfing her thighs and butt.

“That's not what I was worried about!” Max moaned, focusing her eyes on the top of the tree. “It's just, you did it so suddenly, I didn't expect... Doesn't matter, just bring me a little closer.”

Chloe took a few careful steps forward. Her grip was strong and Max really wasn't worried that she will end on the floor anytime soon.

She reached out, grabbing the Christmas tree and putting a star on top of it. “See? I told you I could handle it alone.” Max chuckled with amusement.  
She heard a quiet grumble when arms around her started to slowly loosen and she quickly decided to say something more – something more diplomatic and eloquent, that could convince Chloe to not drop her on the carpet.

“Please don't drop me.”  
... Very diplomatic!

Chloe carefully put her down, amused. “Someday you will say too much, Caulfield, and you will regret it.” She warned her with a chuckle, lightly putting her chin on the top of her head, with her hands were gently placed on Max's sides. They were both looking at their creation, not really bothered by this ongoing closeness.

“Well, it looks... Presentable?” Max judged the poor tree, feeling Chloe's breath in her hair as she chuckled at her words. She was so tempted to either turn around to face her or to just lean back and sink comfortably into her embrace.

She didn't get to do anything – hand on her shirt disappeared, leaving Max with an annoying feel of sudden emptiness. “Plug in the lights, Max. Then we will see what monstrosity we created.”  
Sighing in her mind, brunette slowly moved towards the contact.

\----------

**25.12.2017 – 10 days later, Christmas**

Chloe was not sure if she felt more sorry for Max or nervous for herself.  
She was sitting on the countertop, swinging her legs from time to time. Dressed in a dark navy shirt matching the streaks in her strawberry hair, buttoned all the way up except for the last two studs, with black pants and just a subtle leather bracelet she looked... _Good_. Certainly not like herself but not bad by any means.

“Stop torturing yourself.” She spoke up, saying that phrase for the 16th time today. “You will make a hole in the floor.”

Max stopped pacing for a moment, glancing at Chloe with a nervous look. She settled for a simple black blouse with longer sleeves and dark jeans. Her wardrobe was lacking other kinds of clothes and she was really not in the mood for shopping.

“It's easy for you to say.” Max muttered, resuming the pacing. “They should be here already. What if something is wrong? Grandpa has heart problems, something could have happened. But they would call in that case, right? Ugh, I don't want this dinner, I'm not even hungry. What if they start talking abou-”

Chloe grabbed her hand when she moved close enough to her, stopping her rambling immediately. Max glanced at her now trapped wrist, quickly moving her eyes up, onto Chloe's face. A calm, sapphire gaze welcomed her eagerly.

“Max.” Chloe just said with a warm smile, delicately rubbing brunette's skin with her thumb.  
“Yeah... Ok.” Max breathed deeply, trying to relax a little.  
Easier said than done.  
She stepped a little closer, without really thinking about it. “Che-”

A doorbell sounded in the apartment, successfully shutting her up.  
Chloe chuckled, trying to hide her rapidly returning nervousness and let go of Max's hand. “Did I ever told you that I hate, no, _despise_ this stupid melody?” She jumped off of the counter.

Brunette rolled her eyes, not answering that. Instead she breathed deeply once again, prayed to any Gods that might listen to her and moved to the door, opening them before the bell could ring again.

A small group of people stood there, with expressions on their faces just as nervous as hers. They all just looked at one another for a while – it couldn't last longer than a second but it felt like so much more.

Max noticed a worried smile forming on Vanessa's face before she grabbed her daughter in a hug, as strong as she could with just one arm – in her other hand she was carrying a linen bag, probably filled with food.

“Maxie, hi.” She heard a soft voice in her ear when she returned the gesture.  
“Hey, kiddo.” A much deeper voice filled the air, one she didn't hear in a long time.  
“Hi.” Max responded quietly, smiling. She looked over her mother's shoulder, locking her eyes with her father's. Beside him stood her grandpa, nervously glancing at his wife.

“Honey, how are you? Fine? You look... Thinner.” Vanessa asked, after breaking the hug and letting Max properly welcome everybody (Ryan almost crushed her in his bear grip).  
“I'm fine, mom.” Brunette responded automatically. She heard that question a million times already through the phone. “Come on in, we shouldn't talk here.” Moving out of the way, she invited her family inside.

Chloe was standing awkwardly near the kitchen, waiting. She didn't want to interrupt, she felt out of place already just being here.  
Ryan spotted her first, not recognizing who she was. His smile faltered a little and a glint of confusion appeared in his eyes.

“Sup, Mr. C?” Chloe asked, trying to smile confidently. The last time she greeted him like that she was much, much younger.  
She just hoped that he remembered this stupid phrase. If not then it would be even more awkward than it was right now.  
If that's even possible.

“Chloe?” That big, happy smile returned onto his face, reassuring her that yes, indeed, he remembered. “Oh my lord, you got so tall! Come here, kid.” He laughed, taking a few steps and quickly grabbing her in a big, bear hug – same as the one he greeted his daughter with.  
Chloe only managed to let out a giggle before she disappeared between his arms.

Sudden commotion caused the others to take an interest in them and Chloe found herself in the center of attention after Ryan freed her. She still had no idea what to do or even say, especially to Vanessa.

Fortunately, Max took care of that problem. “Grandpa, grandma, this is Chloe, my friend.”  
“This is the one that you hung out with years ago?” The older woman asked, quickly reducing the distance between her and Chloe.  
“Yes grandma, the same.” Max nodded, carefully observing. _'Please don't say anything stupid, please don't say anything stupid, ple-'  
_ Older woman smiled, placing a bony hand on Chloe's shoulder. “You look like _a fine_ lady, child.”  
“Um, thank you..?” She responded, not really sure what else she could say to that. 'Damn right I am' didn't seem appropriate this time.

“Hope you're not a troublemaker, are you now? I never understood the fascination with colored hair. You are not dressing in leather and fighting with people? Tattoos, piercings? What school did you-”  
“Okay mother, that's enough, leave the poor girl alone.” Ryan interrupted, knowing where this was going. “Let's sit down first, then you can ask Chloe if she is a part of a motorcycle gang.”

Max sighed, sending her father a thankful smile. Good thing that Chloe's shirt was covering her tattoos quite nicely.  
'The poor girl' was still a little confused about the unexpected interrogation attempt.

_'This dinner is going to be an adventure.'_ Brunette thought, not really happy about that.

\----------

“So, Max, how is San Francisco?” Ryan asked after a while, trying to start a new conversation going. They've been eating for a while now, mostly talking about Max's parents. Chloe also answered a few vague questions.  
It was going well, so far.

Brunette swallowed a sip of her tea she just took before responding. “Um, fine, I guess. I'm still trying to get acclimated.”  
“Apparently, since you never visited us once. How long have you been here already child, three months?” Her grandmother scoffed from the other side of the table.

Ryan looked at her. “Mother, you know th-”  
“I know, don't you 'mother' me now. What were you even doing here alone for that long? It had to be interesting since you couldn't be bothered to at least make a call.” Her tone wasn't joking or friendly at all and Max shrinked a little in her chair.

“She was not alone.” Chloe said, perking up on the chair, without really thinking about her words and brunette's advices about not arguing with her family.  
Max shoot her a warning glance but it was too late.

“Oh? So my granddaughter prefers the company of someone like you instead of her own family's?” She looked deeply offended.

“I'm sorry, 'someone like me'?” Chloe squinted her eyes a little, trying hard to maintain a calm voice - mainly because she could almost feel how Max was basically making a hole in her cheek with her gaze.

Older woman scoffed again. “Oh please, child. You don't look like a collection of good life decisions. Do you even have a sensible job or are you some silly waitress in a small dinner, showing her ass for bigger tips?”  
Max almost choked on her tea, not believing in what she was hearing. She looked over at Chloe, scared of her reaction.  
“Mother!” Ryan only managed to shout with astonishment before a loud noise of a suddenly moving chair interrupted him.

Chloe was standing, with hands placed firmly on the tablecloth, leaning over the dishes in an intimidating way. She was clearly pissed off. “Don't you dare talk shit about waitresses. At least I was here when Max needed someone. Funny enough, I didn't see you even trying to contact her.” She hissed from between her clenched teeth. “And yes, I have a fucking job!”

Yet another displeased huff. “Such language! Figures. No respect for anyone! Back in my days your father would just hit you once or twice with a belt and you wouldn't even dare to raise your voice! Maxine was fine, nothing big happened, she is alive. She just had an accident, big deal! I told her that this 'war reporting' was a stupid and foolish idea. At least maybe now she will wise up and pick a normal, serious job!” Max's grandmother was now also standing and leaning a little over the table.

If looks could kill she would certainly drop dead on the spot. “Just had an accident? Big deal? Big, fucking, deal?!” Chloe snorted with anger. “Are you really that dense or did your brain rot away because old age? Max, and yes, _Max_ not _Maxine,_ is fucking lucky to be alive! Do you even know what she went through?! What she had to deal with?! No, of course not, because _you_ weren't here! Listen now you old wh-”

“Enough! That's enough.” Chloe shut up instantly hearing Max's voice, peeling her furious eyes off the old lady. She glanced at brunette with a much different look, full of concern. “Out. I want you out.”

Only now her parents found enough balls to speak up – but it was a little too late for that. “Max, de-”  
This time she got up rapidly, knocking over her chair. “Out. Please.” She repeated, with eyes glued to the plate in front of her. Chloe saw how she clenched her hands tightly on the table, trembling a little.

Her family shuffled a on their chairs, looking at each other with uncertainty. After a while they gave up and slowly started moving.

Chloe waited till everyone was near the door and reluctantly turned, wanting to take a few steps towards them. She wanted to say something, anything, but her mind was blank. Nothing seemed good enough.

She felt a tight grip on her arm and immediately stopped. “Not you.” She heard a quiet, muffled sentence, barely noticeable over the sound of closing doors.

Chloe turned around to Max, letting her bury her face in the dark shirt. She closed her arms around her in a tight hug, hiding her nose in the brown hair without a word.

It didn't take long until brunette's body started shaking, either because of the emotions or because she started crying quietly. Chloe wasn't really sure.  
_'Merry fucking Christmas.'_

\----------

“She didn't even try to say anything!” Max growled later, sitting with Chloe on the couch. “Like, seriously? She just let her frigging talk.”

No, 'sitting' was a bad term. Chloe was almost lying down, elevated a little by the armrest she was leaning on. Between her legs sat Max, with her back rested on Chloe's thighs and stomach.  
Taller woman could basically put her chin on the top of brunette's head, smell her shampoo.

“I know, babe, I know.” She muttered, unthinkingly drawing small circles on Max's arm with one hand. She was holding an empty glass of eggnog in the other – she made a lot of it earlier and it was just a perfect way to unwind after all that shit.  
Or to start babbling a little, like Max did. But, to be fair, brunette drank it much, much more.  
She was not drunk yet but definitely tipsy.

“I knew it was a bad idea.” She sighed quietly.  
Chloe smiled. “At least it wasn't boring like you thought it would be. And they left a lot of food. Aaaaand we actually ended up drinking.” She noticed, chuckling. “Tradition has been honored.”

Max didn't respond and that was completely fine. A couple of hours passed since that dinner – it was dark outside and the only thing that gave any light were the LEDs hanged up on the Christmas tree, slowly circling through all off the colors. They reflected in Chloe eyes, making them even more stupendous than they were already.

“I'm sorry.” She spoke after a while, breaking the silence. “For that shit during the dinner.”  
“You shouldn't be the one to apologize, Che.” Max muttered, snuggling closer to Chloe.  
“No, I'm not sorry for doing that. I'm sorry for having to do that.” She clarified. Her hand found a way from Max's arm onto her side and rested there comfortably.

“Oh. Yeah, I'm sorry about that too. You should be glad that you didn't hear the argument we had on my birthday, when they gave me this place.” Max sighed again, looking over at the tree.  
Chloe rapidly exhaled through her nose. “I should regret that I wasn't there. I would gladly talk with your lovely grandmother again. It was truly a pleasure.”

A soothing warmth abruptly disappeared from her stomach and she couldn't stop herself from sending Max a discontented glance. “I know that you're joking but there is no point in arguing with her. I told you that.”

“No point?” Chloe rolled her eyes. “What do you mean 'no point'? You wanted to be treated like that? I'm not going to just sit and be quiet when some old hag rants about you.”

“Well, the others seemed to be okay with that idea.” Max shrugged, with a sour smile forming on her face. “Ignoring grandma is the best way to deal with her... Opinions.”

“Oh, fuck that.” Chloe snorted, irritated. “Look at me, Maxie. You know that nothing she spewed out was true, right? She doesn't know shit.”  
Max chuckled at that last sentence. _'Well, isn't that the truest of truths?'_ “I know, Che.”

Their eyes met. “Great. So you also know that thinking about that stupid dinner is a dumb thing to do.” Chloe smiled. “Besides, we don't have that much rum left for you to keep rambling about it.”  
Max glanced at the empty glasses, right now left on the table. “I think I had enough already.” She laughed quietly.

“That's good. I wouldn't want to get you drunk before you open my present.” Chloe also chuckled, lifting herself up a little and reaching for her bag that she strategically placed near the couch earlier.

Pure panic started to manifest on Max's face. “No, Chlo, we agreed on 'no presents'.”  
She quickly shushed brunette with her hand. “And that's where you're wrong. We agreed to 'not buy anything for each other', not to 'not get any presents'.”

Max rolled her eyes with a sigh. “Oh, come on-”  
“A-a-a, not my fault that you forgot about my cleverness.” Chloe winked, clearly amused by this whole situation. She handed Max a thin, rectangular _thing_ , packaged in a pretty wrapping.

“Cleverness? I would rather call it your tendency to cheat...” Max muttered, grabbing the present and examining it a little closer.  
“Ouch, you wound me, dude. Just open it already and don't expect anything spectacular.” Brunette lifted her gaze to Chloe's face, hearing a small shift in her voice. She was still smiling but Max could see a nervous glimmer in her eyes.  
She carefully unwrapped the present and was greeted by a familiar drawing.

Max smiled instantly, surprised. “Seriously, Che? You kept it?” She lifted her brow, laughing. “How old we were, 9?”  
“Something like that.” Chloe nodded, looking at their pirate representations drawn with a sharpie on a simple CD. Some lines were smudged a little but a big, uneven title 'PIRATE POWER' was still easily readable. “What, was I supposed to throw it out? No way dude, someday when I'm finally famous, it will be worth millions.”

Max chuckled. “I bet. I can't believe you really kept it for so long.” She shook her head with disbelief, looking again at Chloe.  
“I found it in a drawer a few months ago. Imagine my surprise, since I was sure that I left it in Arcadia. And I know, it's a stupid present.” She shrugged, glancing away. “Just... All of our old photos I left behind and I realized that I have nothing _ours_ , nothing that we made _together_. Besides this CD, of course. And I guess it's roughly the same on your side.” Chloe looked again at Max, only to be instantly met with bright blue eyes.  
“Maybe, thanks to this, you will not forget about me again when you move away.” She added with a small chuckle, only half-jokingly.

“Chloe...” Max sighed, smile quickly disappearing from her face.  
“Kidding, chill.” Chloe winked at her, poking a finger playfully in her arm. “The important thing, I can now bring up during our arguments that I, at least, got you a present for Christmas.”

Max groaned quietly but sent her a smile, the mischievous kind. The one that appeared on her face so rarely. “And what if I have a present for you too?” She inquired, suddenly feeling a little bolder than usually. Probably because of all that rum.

Chloe lifted her brow, curious. “Oh? So I'm not the only one with a 'tendency to cheat'? Okay, sure, Max, in that case what do you have for me?” She crossed her arms, staring at brunette expectantly.

Not giving herself the time to back out, Max grabbed Chloe's arm, pulling her closer and gently kissed her. It was careful, uncertain, asking.  
She got no reaction at first. Chloe was way too surprised, that brunette actually did what she was guessing she would do, to react instantly. Only when Max started to retreat, with sheer panic in her eyes, Chloe recovered, quickly grabbing her cheek and kissing her back with way more confidence and courage.  
The relief that Max felt was almost unbearable.

She unwillingly broke off the kiss before it transformed into a proper make out session, much to Chloe's disappointment. “Woah, okay. Um, Merry Christmas?”  
“Thank God you didn't say 'wowser'. I would actually leave you right now.” Chloe laughed, backing up a little and moving her hand on Max's arm.  
“Try to say 'hella' one more time and I will personally walk you to the door.” She laughed, forcing Chloe with her hand to lay back again. She quickly made herself comfortable in her embrace.  
“Hey, I said 'hella' to you maybe two times, you can't keep bringing it up!” Max felt slim arms wrapping around her, bringing her even closer.

They laid like that for a while, not really feeling the need to talk more – Chloe looking over at the Christmas tree, Max slowly falling asleep. After all this day was exhausting and alcohol was not helping with keeping her awake.

“Chloe? Thank you. For everything.” Max started after a couple of minutes.  
“Anytime. I just hope I don't have to bring rum with me next time to finally get a kiss from you.” Chloe smirked, lazily tracing unrecognizable shapes along brunette's back with her hand.

“It took us long enough already, don't you think?” Max chuckled, fully aware of that. If she had any doubt before, the last two weeks that passed since their argument dispelled it almost completely.  
So that short moment of stunned silence from Chloe earlier filled her with utter terror.  
“Yeah, I would say so.” Chloe agreed, grinning. Max lifted herself up a little to kiss her one more time.

“Merry Christmas, Che.”  
“Merry Christmas, Maximus.”

\----------

She felt warm wind ruffling her hair, intense scent of the grass filling her nostrils, wet dirt under her fingers.

With a tired groan Max opened her eyes, instantly spotting her Copy nearby. She was sitting with her legs crossed, patiently waiting.

Max also sat up, flicking the dirt from her shirt. “Not you again. Couldn't you send someone nicer? Just once? Or you could maybe, just maybe, kindly piss off? Yeah, that would be really nice.” She asked grudgingly, having seriously enough of this nightmares. They stopped after that one with Amélie and she was really hoping that it was the end of it.  
Yeah, she knew that it was improbable but that didn't stop her from hoping.

Also, there was another thing that Max was concerned about – she wasn't having any dreams during this 'break'.  
She always dreamed about something, even if she couldn't really remember clearly about what. But this past two weeks? Nothing. Nada. Null.  
Not even one stupid dream.

“Oh, come on Maxine, don't be like that. I bet you really missed me.” The Copy was sitting a few yards from her but Max could hear her perfectly, like she was right in front of her. “Besides, I'm supposed to be the sassy one.” She forced a grotesque smile to appear on her face.

Max ignored her for a moment, much more interested in taking a look around. The meadow carried on for miles, there was absolutely nothing else. “What happened this time, your budget got cut?”

An unpleasant chuckle filled the air. Max was really hoping that she didn't sound like that in real life. “We can spice it up if you want. Burning Arcadia again? I heard it's lovely this time of year. Oh, no, wait, I have a better idea – what do you think about jogging your memory? We can look at a fresh corpse of your pal, right after he caught a bullet with his throat... Oh, and let's replace him with Chloe's body, what do you think about that? Since this lovely meadow is, apparently, not enough for you...”

Max squinted her eyes, tensing at once. “What do you want this time?”  
The Copy smiled again. “I'm here just to remind you. A lot of shit happened since we met.”  
She got no response but that didn't discourage her. “That dinner was _really_ interesting. You felt it again, didn't you? How close it was this time?”

Max clenched her fists, listening. She knew what her Copy was referring to. For the last month or so she sometimes felt... Odd.  
It reminded her a little of that time she and Chloe tried to hold her breaths for too long when they were kids – lungs starting to burn and itch for air, head starting to get dizzy, heart pounding in chest with an almost painful force.

But this time, instead of wanting something _in_ , her body wanted to desperately get rid of something that was _inside_. Something that was building up over time, causing her arms to shake uncontrollably, her vision to get blurry and her 'dead spots' to tingle.  
Oh, and migraines.  
Oh God, the migraines.  
She was especially felling all that in stressful situations.

“You're not going to run away from it. Just once in your pathetic life, _don't_ run away.” Her Copy said, still with that smug, stupid grin on her face. Max really wanted to just tear it off, preferably in the most violent way she could think of. “This is a part of _you_. You're not going to suppress it either, at least not for too long, believe me.”

“I'm not trusting anything you say.” Max muttered, standing up and trying to get rid of all the dirt and grass that stuck to her clothes. It was way to sticky but she really didn't want to think about it too much.

Copy rolled her eyes. “Again – predictable. You should really stop with this childish stubbornness. Wasn't I right about Amélie?”

Max looked away. “That doesn't mean I'm going to trust you. I'm sorry, but the shit you do to me, including the insults, are not really convincing me to believe. Strangely enough.” She growled.

A putrid smell replaced the scent of grass as Max found her Copy suddenly standing directly in front of her.  
She involuntarily took two steps back, covering her mouth with her hand.

“I don't give a fuck if you trust me or not. You have to believe me and that's the only thing I care about. I don't even like you, you know? You're pissing me off. You hear that – you're pissing yourself off.” The Copy sneered at her, stopping the monologue for a second. “I wouldn't even bother with all this if not for the fact that I don't exist without you. You fucking want to cause a tragedy? Kill people? Again? Just because you can't stop acting like a stupid brat. A perfect thing to write in your CV, I'll give you that.”

Max snorted with anger, ignoring all of her instincts and leaning forward, towards her Copy. “I'm not going to rewind again.”  
“You won't have a choice. And then it would be too late to control it, no matter how desperate or angry you will get.” That annoying smile suddenly disappeared, replaced by something much more human-looking. “Don't repeat _someonesyours_ mistakes, not again.”

Max rolled her eyes, moving back again, coughing. The smell was overwhelming. “Do you really have to be so fucking cryptic all of the time? Just tell me what will happen and what do you exactly mean, is it that hard?”

Copy shook her head. “No, it can't work like that, Maxine. Nobody should be able to know the future, not even a fucking human equivalent of a time-turner.” And just like that, the grin was back. “Even your continued existence is a violation of natural laws. Just... Start thinking clearly, before it's too late. Or we will meet soon, again. And again. And again.”

Max was standing alone in the meadow. Warm wind was ruffling her hair and a pleasant smell of grass invaded her nostrils.

 

_Water on every side_  
_There's a dead spot in my eye_  
_If I listen close at night_  
_There's something coming my way_  
  
_I Am Nothing - Katatonia_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate this. I rewrote it so many times that I can't even look at this chapter anymore and it's still not quite right in some parts. I'll have my own nightmares about it.  
> And it took so long and it's entirely my own fault. I'm sorry. But hey, it's the longest one yet, so that's something?  
> But yeah, I'm not going to abandon this story if anyone was worried about that, I really want to finish it.  
> Take care, people!


	11. I feel it's never coming back again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter, but still quite long.  
> Beware of the overly dramatic part.

 

_Hear, all the wolves are whispering_  
_Feel, that the sin is near_  
_Fight, try to do some damage_  
_Run, there's no looking back_

 

**26.12.2017 – a day later  
**

The smell of grass was replaced by a faint scent of vanilla and instead of wet soil she could feel pleasant, soft cloth under her fingers.

Max opened her eyes, feeling even more tired than yesterday. The tree was still shimmering with every possible color but it was no longer the main source of light in the room – it was already bright enough outside.

She sighed quietly, expressing her mediocre mood. She shouldn't be tired for fuck's sake, she just got a full night's sleep. Better yet – she slept even longer than usually, judging by the sight outside her windows. It was usually dark this time of year when she was waking up.

Her phone's screen lit up, catching her attention. She carefully reached for it, quickly checking who wanted to communicate with her in a moment like this.  
Seven unanswered calls and three messages – all from her mother, with the oldest text received four hours ago.

Max rolled her eyes, not even checking them. For once she was happy she forgot about unmuting her cell after the dinner. She knew that she should deal with this sooner or later – but right now she didn't give a shit about it. Her family could wait.

She felt a small movement and a slim, welcoming arm that was resting on her back tightened around her, bringing her a little closer to the warm body beneath her.  
A small smile formed on her face. Maybe this morning was not so bad after all.

She lifted herself up a little, getting in return a quiet groan of pure disapproval. “Hey, Chloe.”  
“Max.” A grumble escaped her mouth. She was not fully conscious yet and it was showing.  
Well, not everybody could be a morning bird.

Brunette stretched her neck out to kiss the woman she was resting on. “It's way too early to be showing affection, babe.” Chloe mumbled, not really expressing her disapprobation to Max's actions in any other way.  
Quite the opposite, actually.

“Coffee?” Brunette asked, slowly getting up and stretching her back. She slept in various conditions, certainly far worse than this one, but her couch was not spacey at all.  
Chloe had to be even more uncomfortable than Max. She was still fully dressed in her clothes, not to mention the fact, that she had an extra several pounds weighted on top of her for a couple of hours.

_'She should've woke me up.'_

“Yhmhm, sure...” Brunette rolled her eyes at the sight of Chloe turning to the side and burrowing her face between pillows. She was surprised that she couldn't hear any ostentatious snoring.

While waiting for the water to boil, Max visited the bathroom, stopping at the mirror for just a minute too long.

Her reflection didn't look that bad. Aside from disheveled hair and red eyes, of course, but that was still nothing compared to the disaster that her face was just two months ago.  
Right now she rocked the 'I just spent three consecutive nights working on this big project' look.

Max also really needed a bath. Preferably a long, hot, uninterrupted one – but that could wait for a bit.

She reached for the towel to dry her hands, still not feeling anything in her left palm, to the amazement of absolutely nobody.  
Still, a wave of disappointment flooded her, much to her concern.

By the time she came back, Chloe was already in the kitchen, gripping a cup of freshly made caffeine beverage.  
“I asked if you _wanted_ coffee, not if you _wanted to make me_ some coffee.” Max tilted her head, amused, smiling at the sight of still a little drowsy woman standing near her fridge.

“It took you ages and I needed that coffee asap. The levels of blood in my caffeine system are way to high in the mornings.” Chloe yawned, emphasizing her point. “Also, I would really love to use your bath and to 'steal' my stolen hoodie or anything else that would fit on me. I would really prefer not to melt into one with this shirt, thank you.”

Max chuckled when she opened the doors to her bedroom. “I had a similar idea but go ahead first. I would gladly give you some of my clothes but I have a feeling that you would look ridiculous... If you even managed to fit into them.” She raised her voice to be sure that Chloe heard her through the wall, in the meantime grabbing some fresh clothes from the wardrobe.

It wasn't necessary – Chloe was already leaning on the door frame, effectively blocking the exit with her body.  
“'Go ahead first'? Oh no, Max, you know how _much_ I care about the environment! You should too, especially when it's about wasting water... If I had to judge, I would say that your bath is big enough for two people.” She crossed her arms on her chest with an impish smile.

_'There it is again.'_ Max couldn't help but roll her eyes, trying really hard to stop a big grin from appearing on her face. Since their argument Chloe started to, again, avoid teasing her... More or less efficiently.  
Brunette really missed it.  
_'Well, from now on it will be probably worse than it ever was.'_

“Oh? And what happened to 'it's too early to show affection', hm?” Max asked, this time deciding to play along. For once she was not going to back down.  
Not this time.

Chloe faked an affronted gasp, going even so far as to theatrically wave her hand. “Who do you take me for, miss Caulfield? I only proposed a simple, _innocent_ bath.” She shook her head, still not moving even for an inch to unblock the door.

Max lifted her brow, closing her wardrobe. “ _Innocent_? There is as much innocence in you as there is in a Playboy mansion.” Brunette chuckled, throwing a white hoodie to the standing woman. “But in that case... I'm not interested. I'm not in the mood for a boring bath.” She added, watching as her girlfriend quickly reached for the flying piece of clothing before it hit her in the face.

_'Girlfriend?'_ Max stopped for a second at that thought.  
It... Didn't seem fitting.  
You take your girlfriend to the cinema, maybe a concert or a pub, slowly getting to know her over time and gradually starting to include her in your daily life. You chatter about anything at first, just to talk with her, in time carefully opening up, bit by bit, after deepening your mutual trust everyday. You are happy, maybe even allowing yourself to shyly think about the future – your shared future.

Until one day something goes wrong and, without any prior warning, she loses her interest completely. It's not your fault, she assures you, and it's probably true. Still, it can never be like it was in the past, before you started dating her. There will always be that awkward barrier between you two, even if you pretend very hard that it didn't exist.  
Not to mention the heart break.

At least that's how it was for Max with her relationships.  
...  
Relationship. One. Singular.  
She still felt bad about that one. He didn't really deserve to be just left like that without any real reason or even an argument.

No, Chloe was not her girlfriend. She was something much, much more complicated than that.

“Oh? Nobody said that it has to be boring... Who knows what can happen?” Chloe said, throwing the hoodie on her shoulder to free her hands, suggestively smiling at brunette.

Max, amused, slowly made her way to the door, leaving the clothes she prepared on her bed. Without any hesitation she lifted her palm, placing it gently on Chloe's cheek. Her other hand found a way onto her chest, slowly pushing her into the door frame.  
She gladly obliged, placing her fingers on Max's waist.

Lifting herself up on her toes, she gently pulled Chloe's face to her, forcing her to lean a little. But, instead of kissing her like the taller woman anticipated, Max moved her finger preventively onto Chloe's lips, bringing her own mouth to her ear. “Then call me if you ever figure out what could have happened. And thanks for moving your ass out of my doorstep.” Max said, way too loud and with a voice that was completely bereft of that flirtatious tone she used earlier.

She quickly stepped into the living room, leaving Chloe still leaning on the door frame. A surprised, pleasing laugh filled the space between them. “Ouch, who are you and what have done to Max? I'm supposed to be the sassy one.”

Brunette choked on her coffee after hearing the familiar, unexpected phrase. She managed to forget for a while about that shit.  
“I would joke that my words are not the only thing you will be choking on, but I feel like it's not carrying the same weight when I'm a woman... And that you would not appreciate my sense of humor right now anyway.” Chloe chuckled, glancing at Max with both amused and a little worried expression.

“You're right. I don't appreciate it.” Brunette stated when she caught her breath. “Your jokes are awful.” She smiled, looking at Chloe as she made her way to the bathroom. The sleeves of her hoodie were dangling from her shoulder, swinging with each step.

“Hey, they're still in alpha. Hopefully soon they'll get beta.” Chloe shrugged before she disappeared behind the bathroom doors.  
“Your puns are also bad!” Max shouted after her, expressing her current feelings with a loud groan. _'Never change, Che.'_

Soon she heard the noise of running water filling the tub. She had a moment for herself.

Max grabbed her jacket and quickly stepped out onto the balcony, closing the doors behind them. It was cold outside, there was no need to also chill out her apartment.

Breathing the fresh air, she tucked her hand into her pockets. It was not very early but the city was still sleeping – there was almost no traffic, no people walking on the streets and not even a single plane crossed the cloudy sky. Apparently everyone was still recovering from Christmas spirit.

Peace and quiet.

Max took out the contents of her pockets to examine them. Some old gum wrappers, receipt for a can of soda, pen, rubber band and some pennies.

She looked doubtfully at her belongings, taking a few steps to meet with the railing. She took one of the wrappings, making a small ball out of it. Without thinking she threw it over the balustrade, watching it fall until a sudden gust of wind interrupted it's path.  
Which happened after, approximately, 0.2 seconds.  
No, this will not work. She needed something heavier.

She bundled together the remaining wrappers, enveloping them with the receipt. Using the rubber band she secured it all in place, hoping that it was enough to keep it from falling apart immediately.

Squeezing her work of art in her right palm, she slowly lifted her left hand. Closing her eyes and steadying her breath, Max tried to concentrate, throw away all the negative thoughts that cluttered her brain.  
She made a fist with her hand, almost immediately slowly relaxing her muscles. She repeated that for a while, trying to... Warm up? Prepare herself?  
To postpone the inevitable?

Scoffing, brunette opened her eyes. She was not feeling any determination, desire, excitement or power.  
She felt anxious... No, worse – she was afraid.

Max didn't even notice when she started to breath through her mouth, letting out small clouds of steam. She didn't want this at all, every part of her body was against it – still, after so many months, she felt uneasy and nauseous when even thinking about rewinding.

She needed some sort of push. She wasn't able to just 'do it', to use her powers like she used to.  
The grip around her makeshift ball tightened. _'Do I really want to do this like that? The idea of littering is supposed to encourage me?'_

She snorted with anger, still with her left hand lifted in the air. What kind of stupid idea was that? Better plan would be to just jump out and then hope for her powers to activate.  
This was absurd. Like her whole life.

Max breathed in and out slowly, cold air filling her lungs. _'Now or never, I guess.'  
_ She threw the ball over the railing. It quickly flied down, not bothered by the wind.

Max just stood there, now with ragged breath, not able to move. She didn't feel the pleasant sting of adrenaline that always filled her body milliseconds before she used her powers.  
The ball did not magically return to her hand.

With a quiet whimper, Max placed her elbows on the cold metal, hiding her face in her palms. “Crap.” She whispered to herself with resignation.

She couldn't do it. Also didn't want to but mostly just couldn't. The memories of what happened the last time she rewound were burning bright in her mind.  
“Useless.”

She stood there for a while till the cold started seriously bothering her. Only then she finally straightened up and made her way into the living room.

A pair of concerned, blue eyes welcomed her through the glass as soon as she turned around. She completely lost the track of time.  
Taking her jacket off, Max sent Chloe the best smile she could muster, trying to suppress the anxious feeling still lingering in her guts.

“What's going on, Max?”  
Apparently her smile was not convincing at all.

“Um, nothing. I needed some air.” She replied, moving through the room.  
“And to contemplate the idea of jumping off?” Chloe lifted her brow, turning her head to not lose the sight of brunette. She was still wearing the jeans from yesterday but her feet were bare and a hoodie was covering her upper body. Judging by the skin showing from under the slightly unfastened zipper, she also ditched both her shirt and bra for now.

Her hair was glistening, a few drops of water managed to already stain her white hoodie. _'Does she have an aversion to a hairdryer and for properly wiping her head or what?'_  
Not that there was anything wrong with it. Chloe looked good with wet strands stuck to her skin and without makeup.  
But, to be fair, Max was sure that Chloe would look good no matter what.

“I was not contemplating _that_ , Che.” She sighed, not stopping her march through the living room. After hanging up her jacket she started to make her way to the bedroom.

“Then what were you thinking about? Because it didn't look like puppies and kittens were occupying your thoughts.”  
“Nothing important, don't worry. I'm just tired and let my mind wander.” Max replied, passing her on the way.

Chloe grabbed her arm. “Max...”  
“It's fine, really. I'm serious.” She insisted, turning to face the taller woman. She focused her eyes on the slim hand on her arm, not exactly ready to look at her without giving away her true emotions.  
Instead of pushing further, Chloe pulled Max closer, gently hugging her.

“Ok. It's fine. But, just so you know, you can tell me everything.” She murmured into her hair, causing brunette to relax a little. She was still not used to this form of dealing with emotions, she realized.

Usually she had to deal with things alone and that meant bottling everything up while trying to find anything that could occupy her mind for a time.  
And that, sooner or later, always ended up with crying.

Chloe preferred to be more physical when expressing her emotions. Hugging, grabbing, poking, kissing... Hitting innocent furniture.  
Max could get used to this method.

“I know. I know.” She muttered in her hoodie, ending the hug moments later. A thankful, honest smile illuminated her face and almost melted Chloe's heart.

\----------

Max occupied the bathtub significantly longer than she usually did, much to Chloe's irritation since she decided to make some breakfast in the meantime.  
It was cold by the time she finally emerged from the bathroom.

“Look, Max, we have to talk. I have a proposition for you.” She started when they finally sat down to eat.

Brunette lifted her gaze up from her phone, stopping her fork before it reached her mouth.  
“What's up?” Max lifted her brow, placing the cell on the table. She still didn't contact her family and that was not about to change anytime soon. She wasn't even sure what she could say to not cause another argument.

“Well, since you dragged me to that awful dinner it's only fair that you agree to come with me to the New year's Eve party.” Chloe stated, poking the remains of her food with a knife.

Max put down her fork with a quiet clank. “Uhm... I'm not really a type to party and dance, Che. I'm usually the one hiding in the corner and playing with the house dog.”

Chloe smiled. “Don't worry, nobody will force you to dance. It's more like a casual meeting anyway than a big, outrageous party. You will finally meet Carl! Oh, and Steph... Which I'm not too happy about, because she will certainly start bringing up all of the stupid shit I've done in the past...” Her voice trailed off, like she only now just realized this.  
She will have to talk with Steph about that before the party. “Anyway, it would be nice if you agreed. Then I could finally openly boast about having an amazing girlfriend.” Chloe winked from the other side of the table, earning a snort from Max.

“You really don't have anything better to be proud of?” Brunette chuckled. She was still not sold on this idea, especially since she would be in the spotlight – even if it was only for a while.  
But she should start meeting new people to hang out with. When was the last time she did that? Shortly after finishing school?  
She didn't really have any friends besides Chloe. It wasn't bothering her much but still...

Chloe stood up, taking her plate with her. When she was near Max she moved her free hand through her hair with tenderness. “I'm pretty sure I will never have anything better than you.” She winked again, resuming her walk to the sink.

Max, feeling suddenly a pleasant warmth filling her body, looked at her plate, not being able to hide the big, stupidly happy grin that formed on her face. “Sweet talker.”

“Does that mean that you will go? I guarantee, there won't be any drama, these people are cool. And we can always just go home whenever you want.”

“Okay, sure. If you really want it that much then I'm in.” Max nodded, reaching for her fork. “But please, don't make me dance.”  
Chloe laughed, putting the plate into the sink. “Deal.”

\----------

**31.12.2017 – 5 days later, New year's Eve  
**

Max was lost. She just couldn't understand what was going on with her.  
She had a short, ominous dream the day she tried to use her powers. The problems was, she couldn't remember it. For the first time, she couldn't remember a fucking thing.  
And she had a feeling that it was important somehow.

She didn't try to rewind anything since. She was clearly not ready yet.

But now, standing in front of the mirror, she had more pressing things on her mind. “It's not my style, I must admit.”  
“Maximus, no offense, but you don't have a style.” Chloe pointed out from behind her, leaning on the door frame. She was dressed in dark jeans, black t-shirt with a blue butterfly sitting on a skull printed on it and an unbuttoned navy flannel. Her sleeves were rolled up, exposing her tattoo and bracelets.  
Heavy necklace hanged from her neck, as always.

“Hey, come on! I worked many years on my style!” Max exclaimed, slightly miffed. She kind of agreed with Chloe but that didn't mean she was going to just admit it.  
But yeah, she wasn't trendy at all.  
That's why yesterday they spent the entire day shopping for some new clothes to spice up her wardrobe.  
Never again.

“You look good, babe.” Chloe stated, again. She must have repeated it at least five times by now. “But I'm still convinced that you would look better in a skirt.” She added, winking to Max's reflection in the mirror.

Brunette rolled her eyes. There was absolutely no way that she would dress in anything even barely revealing. She was still way to self conscious about her scars to even put on something with a shorter sleeve.  
Now she was dressed a little less casually than usually – black, fitted jeans good for any occasion and a white shirt peeking from under a dark sweater. No jewelry – she didn't wear any for years and would now feel weird with something constantly touching her neck or wrist.

“Of course you think that.” Max looked at Chloe with an amused glance before she passed her and left the bedroom. “Come on, we don't want to be late.”

Chloe, turning off the lights, quickly caught up with her without any problem. “Someone's in a hurry, I see?”  
“And someone's not?” After opening the door for Chloe, Max grabbed their jackets before leaving.

“It's not that. I just thought that you will be more nervous about this.” She admitted, throwing an arm around the smaller woman when they walked through the hall.

Max reached around Chloe's waist, hiding her hand in the pocket of her girlfriend's jeans without really thinking about it. “I am nervous. But hey, you will be there so I'm not worrying... Too much. I can handle a couple of strangers.”

Of course she was nervous. There were two kinds of people on this world – the first group had absolutely no trouble with meeting and making new friends or joking and laughing around with strangers.  
Then there was the rest – the socially awkward humans that had trouble with keeping a conversation going with someone they didn't know... If they even managed to initiate one.  
Max was certainly belonging to the second group.

But hey, how hard could it be? It's not like she was about to rewind time, experience another bizarre nightmare or watch her friends die in a gruesome way.  
Meeting a few strangers couldn't be harder than that.

Chloe chuckled, pressing the button to call the elevator. “It's still not the level of confidence you should have, but we're slowly making progress.”  
“'Level of confidence I should have'?” Max glanced at her, spotting the bright elevator lights reflecting in her eyes.

“We didn't already talk about this? Hmpf. Yeah, you should be much more confident. You have the right to be.” Chloe responded with a warm smile.  
Max lifted her brow. “You really think that?”

“Nah, I'm just kidding.” Chloe rolled her eyes, walking brunette towards the last doors in this building. “Of course I think that, you dumbass. You are amazing. Your photos, decisions, strength... More importantly, just you.” She leaned to plant a quick kiss on Max's temple. Occasionally, the height difference was a good thing.

“I... Thank you. But I was asking if you really think that I'm not confident?” Brunette took her hand away from Chloe, passing first through the narrow exit. They wouldn't fit together through it. “I mean, is it so obvious?”

“Maxie, babe, how much time we spent together? I know you better than I know myself by now, of course I can see it. I can also see when you're trying to hide something from me.” She shoot an accusing glance towards brunette, which resulted in her looking down sheepishly.

Chloe squeezed her hand when they finally stopped on the sidewalk. They agreed earlier to just walk over – the party was not far and Max guessed that Chloe wanted to drink a little.  
And brunette was not going to drive the truck, no way in hell.

“Relax, I'm not going to bug you about it if you don't want me to. What I mean is that it's obvious to _me_. To a group of friendly, buzzed strangers you will look like you are just a little shy. Or overwhelmed.”

Max chuckled quietly, lifting her gaze up to look again at Chloe. It was already dark outside and street lamps, being the only source of light, illuminated her face with a warm, orange glow. “To be fair, everyone would seem shy around you. You have way too much social energy and, if I had to guess, I would say that you're certainly the life of the party.”

“Pffft. You are talking to a social outcast Caulfield, to a delinquent that they kicked out of school. The only spotlight I was in was always the bad kind.” Chloe laughed, thinking about old times. Even when she hung out with Rachel she was still regarded as an outcast – the only difference was that, instead of being ignored most of the time, she was unwillingly accepted by people.

“It was a long time ago, Che. People change.” Max responded calmly. “And every school is filled with judging eyes and gossiping tongues, no exceptions.”

“Ouch, Seattle sucked so bad?”  
Brunette smiled. “No, not really. It was just...” She thought about Fernando and Kristen. When was the last time they spoke? Two years ago? “... Lonely.”

Chloe nodded. “Yeah, I knew the feeling. Not anymore, though.” She also smiled, taking a moment to look around. They were walking for a while now. “But, back to the present: get ready, we are almost there.”

\----------

It wasn't as bad as Max anticipated.  
Carl, even though her jaw dropped at the sight of the enormous man with a full beard that opened the doors for them, was actually a really laid back guy.  
She shouldn't judge the book by it's cover.

Mikey, on the other hand, looked like an almost exact opposite – short, thin and without any facial hair. Max learned that he used to go with Chloe to Blackwell and they sometimes played tabletop games – which, by the way, surprised her. She would never guess that Chloe would keep playing them after she moved away.

Also, Mikey was great at drawing. When Chloe asked him one day, half-jokingly, if he would like to maybe design a couple of tattoos for them because they were short on people and the requests were piling up, he agreed without a second thought. After a while it became the main source of his income and he moved to San Francisco to be closer to the clients.

There was also Tom who seemed like he was trying to be everywhere at once. One second he was talking with somebody, the next he played the role of a DJ, moment later he was refiling the snack and booze bar... He disappeared a couple of minutes ago, talking about making a quick trip for some cigarettes and more alcohol.

Max couldn't remember any more names. Blame her forgetful mind.

Oh, yeah, there was also Steph who, right now, was talking with her near the snack bar, drinking beer.  
Brunette drank only juice so far. She preferred to stay sober tonight. “And you moved, just like that?”  
“Why not?” Steph shrugged, continuing their talk. Chloe left them alone, agreeing to help Carl with something earlier.  
Max could swear that she felt her eyes on her back from time to time.

“I wanted to move away from Arcadia, aka 'the town that everybody want to leave', for a while. Mikey brought up the fact that he was thinking about moving to San Francisco and I asked to come with him. I work online so I can basically do my job wherever... Even in a tattoo studio. Carl was cool with it so why not? I also really wanted to see how Chloe was doing.”

Max nodded, stopping for a moment to think about her next words. “And... How she was doing?”

“Oh, like always – at the first glance marvelous.” Steph laughed, taking a sip from her bottle. Only now Max noticed a ring on her finger. “It was already a couple of month after... Everything that happened in Arcadia. She was still Chloe, with her sharp tongue, 'I don't give a fuck' attitude and awful puns. But...” She sighed, stopping for a moment to pop a potato chip in her mouth. “She is not the same person I remembered. She is much more quiet-”

A laugh sounded from the other side of the room, louder than both Steph's voice and the playing music. Max glanced over just in time to see laughing Chloe, showing her middle finger to some girl that was smirking happily. She couldn't remember her name.

“Ekhem. She _is_ quieter now, if you can believe me on that.” This time Steph laughed. “She is more careful. Also, she seemed... Empty. Like there was nothing in her, no light whatsoever. Especially when you caught her when she thought she was alone. No glow in her eyes, no fake smile plastered over her face... So you have no idea how happy I am that you finally got together.” She took another sip, bigger this time. “I haven't seen her so happy since Ra... Raemoved, since she got removed from Blackwell. That was a _really_ big thing for her, seriously. She hated that school with passion.”

Max lifted her brow, looking suspiciously at the buzzed woman in front of her. “Steph, ' _Raemoved'_?”

“Eee, I drank too much and I slurred..?” To support her explanation, she drank the rest of her beer in one go, quickly grabbing the next bottle.

Max rolled her eyes, a little amused. “Smooth. I already hear about Rachel, don't worry.” She said, risking a quick glance to the spot where she last saw Chloe.  
She was not there anymore, much to brunette's displeasure.

“Uhm, yeah, that's a relief. Chloe would kill me if I mentioned her to you before she could, it's none of my business.” Steph looked at Max with just a hint of uncertainty in her eyes. She really didn't want to talk about this topic.

But brunette was curious. She knew she shouldn't ask – what was the point? It was the past, nothing good could come up from this.  
Especially if Chloe discovers that Steph told her anything.

She couldn't help herself. “What... What was Rachel like? Honestly?” Max asked, suddenly interested in her nails, like there was an answer to her question written on them.  
Steph sighed. “Max, like I said, it's none of my business...”  
“I know, I know. Please? I... I don't want to ask Chloe about that.” She forced her eyes to shoot up, quickly finding Steph's face.

A nervous grumble escaped her lips before she started talking again. “Rachel Amber... Imagine the most popular girl in the school. She knows everybody and everybody knows her. She's a member of all the 'cool' clubs, she's always on every party and concert. She has rich parents... And, like it wasn't already enough, she is gorgeous and not an entitled bitch. Now multiply that by a thousand and you have Rachel Amber.” Steph moved her arms in a way that was supposed to emphasize her words.  
Good thing that her beer was still unopened.

“She had a tendency to manipulate people but I doubt that she was faking anything to achieve that. It was just who she was, charismatic and beautiful, and she used that as much as she could.” Another shrug.

Max listened quietly, not wanting to interrupt. Her question was already answered but Steph looked like she had more to say. “Somehow she got involved with Chloe and soon everyone was talking about it. The queen of Blackwell was dating the delinquent dropout. You can imagine how big it was for some stupid teenagers who practically fed on rumors.”

Now she opened her bottle, using only a spoon to do that, without any problems. “They were together for a long time, certainly longer than anyone was expecting. You know that kind of relationship, where at the start, instead of a normal, warm spark there is a burning fire in your chest? It was something like that if I had to guess. But, instead of quickly dying, it became a forest fire. That is, until the rain came. You must ask Chloe for details but finally, after so many months, Rachel tried to skip town with... What was his name? Fred? Floyd? Something like that, that's not important. Anyway, you can imagine Chloe's reaction.”  
Max looked away. She could.

“She disappeared from the face of earth for a while after that. Nobody knew where she went and, after she came back, nobody dared to ask. It was clear that Chloe was not in a good place after that shit. Then, some time later, her mom's funeral happened...” Steph shrugged, offering Max a sip of her beer.  
She didn't accept it.

“Don't worry about it, Max. It was long ago.” She smiled reassuringly. “She was really worried about you, you know? And I was telling the truth earlier – she is happier now than she was for years.”  
Max nodded again, with a forced smile.  
She regretted asking.

Moments later a strong arm trapped her shoulder and a familiar scent of vanilla invaded her nostrils. “I really hope you're not talking about me behind my back, ladies.” Chloe laughed, bringing Max closer to her chest.

Steph saved her from having to speak up, fortunately. She wasn't sure if she was able to muster anything coherent right now. “Of course we were. I was just about to tell Max about that one time when you got drunk and mistook your neig-”

“Shut up, Gingrich. I warn you.” Chloe sent her a warning glance, causing her to chuckle. “Stop feeding Max with false stories, you thot. By the way, where is your wife?”

“False stories?!” Steph snorted, visibly offended. “Nothing I said was false.” She winked at Max, who finally managed to regain her composure. “But you are right, I should go and find her. She went with Tom for more alcohol, you saw him recently?”

Chloe shook her head. “Nope, not yet. They should be back soon, midnight is close.”  
“Yeah, I should call her. I'll be back in a minute, lovebirds.” Steph laughed, retreating into the much more quiet kitchen.

“You alright, Maxie?” Chloe looked at the smaller woman that was gripping her shirt.  
Brunette smiled. “Sure. Steph is nice.”  
“Better wait with that kind of judgments.” Chloe chuckled lightly, reaching for another beer. “Come, we will soon head outside to look at the fireworks.”

\----------

**01.01.2018 – couple of hours later, approx. 4 am**

  
Chloe was not drunk – tipsy, yes, but she will probably not have a hangover in a couple of hours. Her eyes were shining, some words were slurred, she became even more touchy than she usually was.  
None of those facts bothered Max.

They were going home – since it was so close they rejected the offer to sleep at Carl's place. There was no need.  
Besides, if they agreed to that, Chloe wouldn't be able to pull her into the empty alley they were passing and pin her to the wall, kissing her fiercely.

Max managed only to moan in surprise before she felt soft, hungry lips on her mouth, accompanied by a familiar tongue seeking entrance.  
She gladly granted it, throwing her arms around Chloe's neck, trying to bring her even closer.  
Despite the several layers of clothes Max could feel a hand on her stomach, keeping her firmly in place.

“Che... Chloe, hey!” She managed to gasp after a while, opening her eyes to look at the taller woman. She spotted from the corner of her eye that Chloe placed her other hand on the wall near her head, probably only because of that keeping her balance.  
She wondered for a second if she minded if they collapsed on the ground at some point.  
Probably not at all.

“Sorry, sorry... I wanted to that for a couple of hours.” Chloe smiled impishly, with a spark in her eye that Max only recently started to notice. Understandably so – you don't look for lust in your friend's eyes.  
Unless that friend starts passionately making out with you.

“We are three streets from home, Chlo.” She couldn't help but chuckle, not angry at all. “You really couldn't wait for a couple of minutes?”

Chloe moved her hand lower, sliding it under all that layers of clothing. Max gasped when cold fingers brushed her hot skin and started suggestively tugging at her jeans. “Maybe take this as a preview to what I'm about to do in a couple of minutes.” She whispered right into her ear.  
Tipsy Chloe was, apparently, way more horny than sober Chloe.  
Or she just didn't care to hide it as much.

“I mean, if you want to.” Warm breath disappeared from her neck, replaced by a sudden gust of cold wind. Chloe moved her head away a little to look at the loudly breathing and blushing woman she was still pinning to the brick wall, now with much less confidence.

Max swallowed, trying to calm herself a little. So far they only heavily made out a couple of times and she was always the first to pull back and stop before it turned into anything more. Chloe was probably disappointed but she wasn't showing it – quite the opposite, she always just smiled, never complaining and never trying to push her. She was guessing why Max was reluctant but they never really talked about it.

It was still something new. This situation they found themselves in was still fresh and unfamiliar.  
Also quite nice.  
But yeah, great moment and place to initiate that talk, really good choice Chloe.

“Che, I'm su-”  
“Hey, fucking dykes!” A sharp, manly voice interrupted her. She quickly looked over, noticing two tall figures blocking the alley. “You don't know that it's disgusting to do this shit in public?”  
_'Oh no.'_

Chloe straightened up, automatically turning and stepping forward to hide Max behind her. “Fuck off, we don't want any trouble.” She growled without even a hint of tenderness or uncertainty she was showing just seconds ago.

“You don't want trouble? Well too fucking bad.” Brunette took a good look at the two guys, nervously tightening her grip on Chloe's arm. Grinning from ear to ear, besides their assholish expressions, they were not standing out in any way. She wouldn't probably notice either of them if she passed them on the sidewalk. “No, we have something much more fun in mind.”

With growing panic she noticed that they were drunk. And definitely not about to 'fuck off'.  
“I don't fucking care what you want, back off before I break your fucking legs.” Chloe growled, slowly starting to move back when she realized they were shortening the distance between them.

An obnoxious laugh filled the alley. “So that's how it's gonna be? Fine, I was worried that this year will start in a boring way.” Max almost didn't notice that they reached the end of the alley. Only when her back bumped into a wall she realized that this was a dead end. There was nowhere to run.  
Chloe must have thought that too – brunette could feel her muscles tensing under her fingers, her breath quickly hastening.

She would probably scream if not for the fact, that she couldn't force herself to make any kind of sound.  
“Take the short one, I will deal with this bitch.” One told the other, suddenly picking up speed.

“Over my dead fucking body.” Chloe hissed, not really able to fully conceal the fear in her voice. She pushed Max even more behind her, lifting her hands up in anticipation.

She let go of her arm, trying to think instead of panicking. Nothing sensible came to her mind, not even one good idea. There was no way that they could fight them off, even if they didn't have any weapons.

Chloe probably thought so too, but what was she supposed to do? Scream, hoping that someone hears?  
It was a little to late for that.

So she leaped forward, trying to surprise them.

She hit the silent guy right between the eyes with an audible crunch. He screamed, immediately bringing his hand to his nose. Chloe turned to the other man, just in time to meet his fist with her stomach, collapsing to her knees breathless.

“Che!” Max finally found her voice, successfully digging it out from beneath the logs of fear that flooded her senses. The injured guy managed to recover in the meantime, still holding his face. “Fucking bitch!” He growled under his breath, apparently trying to determine if his nose was broken or not.

The second man focused now on Max. “Like always, fucking useless.” He hissed at his friend and, before brunette could react, gripped her arm, painfully crushing it under his fingers.  
She let out something between a hiss and moan, trying immediately to free herself.

She felt a sudden, sharp jerk and spotted something in the corner of her eye when Chloe rammed herself into man's stomach, bringing him with her to the ground. Max managed to free her arm in the process, now left only with a sore spot on her skin.

She heard a strange, familiar clicking noise and looked at the first guy who was bleeding from his nose. He was standing with eyes focused on Chloe's back and a gun in his hand.

Without really thinking, happy for the fact, that everybody was ignoring her, she copied Chloe's move, practically slamming herself into his shoulder – the only idea she had right now.

Sure, she could just yell 'gun!' and however informative that would be, it wouldn't be enough. Nobody would be able to react that quickly.

She didn't manage to knock him over, her attack only unbalanced him. She heard a loud, sharp bang not even a second after tackling him.

The first thing she did after regaining her own balance was quickly throwing a quick glance at Chloe, trying to determine if she was okay.  
Both she and the man she was wrestling with, froze for a moment, looking attentively her way. Max couldn't spot anything – no blood, no strange expressions of surprise and pain, no screaming.

Another bang disturbed the silence and Chloe, still focused on brunette, saw everything in a slow-motion.  
She saw how Max's face changed suddenly.  
How she lifted her hand to her right shoulder, taking a few shaky steps back till she hit the wall with her back.  
Chloe quickly realized what was going on, immediately jumping to her feet. “Max!”

Brunette was not listening to her. Familiar pain shoot down her body, the one she hoped to never experience again. She made a mistake, taking her eyes off of the armed man and she was not about to do it again.  
Even more since she was sure now that he wasn't going to stop firing.

She moved her already slightly bloody hand away from the hole in her jacket, lifting it up in front of her. She felt different than a few days ago, on that balcony.

Despite the pain and fear, her breath was calm, slow. Her teeth were clenched and Chloe could see fire in her eyes.  
Max was, right now, mostly fucking pissed off. It was a surprising, alien feeling, clouding her mind. It was raw and intense, like nothing she has ever felt.

She was not about to just look while the man began aiming again at Chloe.  
_'Oh no, you fucking don't.'_

A familiar, pleasant wave flooded her body when she used her powers. Everything came to a halt, only to begin reversing slowly. She saw how the barrel moved away from Chloe, once more starting to point at her own shoulder.

She should be able to grab his gun now, maybe even hit his hand and cause him to drop it, scream to Chloe to grab it. Yeah, she could do that.  
Something was telling her that it wasn't enough.

An idea came to her mind. A strange, alien idea that made no sense to her.

It was not her idea. Not fully at least.  
Yet she listened to it, without second thoughts.

Max moved her fingers, quickly making a fist with her left hand.  
She felt a sharp pain, much greater than the one that flooded her after the bullet pierced her shoulder. A familiar pressure appeared in her nostrils, quickly causing a nosebleed.  
Apparently she was never going to get rid of them while she used her powers. Tough luck.

She closed her eyes, trying to deal with pain. It hurt like hell, nearly as much as the last time she rewound. But the difference was that she was not feeling like she was going to pass out from exhaustion.

Quite the opposite, actually – she felt like something was rapidly building up in her body, powering her up and clouding her mind even more.  
Feeling the metallic taste on her lips, she opened her eyes.

Everything was completely still. Literally, everything besides her – Chloe, the two assholes, the paper bag that was just hanging in the air near the street.

It would look like a strange, 3D picture if not for the fact, that everything seemed to be shimmering and losing focus from time to time. It reminded her of old VHS tapes – the ones she used to watch on her antique TV when she was little. When she paused the movie the picture would sometimes become distorted, splitting in two, shaking.  
Especially when she stopped it between two frames.

“What the fuck?” She whispered in the air, moving slowly away from the wall. She felt like she was floundering in a muddy lake, forced to put all of her strength into taking just that one step. Like there was a barrier in front of her she was not supposed to cross.

When she finally reached the man, she was sweating and breathing heavily through her mouth. Her hair was stuck to her wet cheeks and bloody chin.  
She only took a few steps, but she felt like she just ran a marathon.

Max lifted her right hand to grab the gun, completely ignoring the pain in her shoulder. It was nothing compared to the exhaustion that started slowly overwhelming her.  
She managed to free it from man's grip after a while.

But seeing his expression full of anger, the sickening spark in his eyes, yellow teeth between his parted lips, unnaturally dented from Chloe's punch nose, much less bloodied than her own, she again felt that blinding rage from before. Like something awoke in her, barking, biting and scratching around. The raw, primitive need to just hurt him, take revenge, make sure that he was never going to attack anyone else, not her, not Chloe...

Without any control over her own body, she lifted the gun and pointed it at his head. She could swear that she faintly heard a distorted voice in her head, encouraging her to do it.  
It was no big deal, right? Sure, she never shot anyone like that – but she had some experience in killing people, even if indirectly.  
Hah. _Indirectly._

The rage was blinding.  
She just wanted it all to end already.

With a shaking finger she began to slowly squeeze the trigger, not being able to listen to her screaming common sense. She had the situation under control, she had the gun, she just had to let go of her powers and tell everyone to step back, she wa-

With a groan she relaxed her hand, not being able to take it anymore. She squeezed the trigger, managing only to aim the barrel slightly lower before another bang disrupted the otherwise quiet morning.

“Max!” She heard the same shout as before, this time suppressed by the sudden cry coming from the man in front of her. He immediately grabbed his shot shoulder, taking two steps back.

Brunette didn't care. She was still feeling that blind anger, couldn't think or decide for herself.  
She just _needed_ to hurt him. To take revenge.

The gun fired again, this time aimed at his thigh. Again she felt a painful yank in her shoulder that sent lightnings down her back, her ears were ringing like crazy. They guy fell down, screaming something – Max couldn't care less what he was trying to say.

Another shot, this time into his knee. He was practically writhing on the ground, smearing the blood around him.

Before she squeezed the trigger again she felt something firmly gripping her wrist and her left shoulder.  
“Max, what the fuck, enough! That's enough already, babe, stop, please!” Blue eyes filled with both terror and complete lack of understanding finally made her snap out of it.

Still breathing heavily, she blinked once, twice, three times, letting go of the gun from her numbed fingers. She tore her eyes off Chloe, looking around with rapidly increasing panic. She stared at the lying man who was yelping quietly. His buddy must have ran at some point because he was nowhere to be found.

There was no trace of her previous rage. She was exhausted and scared, nauseous.

Max slowly moved back, ignoring Chloe completely. She hit the wall and quickly slided down.  
The grip on her shoulders tightened even more, pulling her closer.

Chloe tried to say something but her mind was blank. She couldn't think of anything comforting to say, still too shocked by this whole situation. Her brain couldn't make sense of what happened – more, of _how_ it happened.

From her perspective Max just teleported, with the gun suddenly in her hand, without any reluctance gunning the man down.

She started to mutter under her breath. “What the fuck, what the flying fuck, shit...”  
Apparently, Chloe still had nothing comforting to say.

She reached for her phone, quickly dialing the emergency number.  
Hiding her face in her jacket, Max closed her eyes, giving up. She already had enough of this day.

She didn't hear Chloe's words when she talked on the phone, couldn't respond to her panicked questions, didn't feel how she tightened her grip around her.  
She just wanted to sleep.

 

 

_Keep the focus you're about to fall_  
_It's an endless hole_  
_Take a small step forward_  
_Try to push you but there's no way home_  
_Have to keep control_  
_Of the place you stand on_  
  
_This Sin is Near – Bang Gang feat. Bloodgroup_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We hit 200 kudos and 2700 views? You guys are on fire <3  
> In other news, I got a job that I was not supposed to get till January and I'm not ready for it, like at all, argh. This'll cut my free time by a lot, which will impact this ff. I wanted to actually finish it before 2018 (that is, if I finally made my mind about what kind of ending I want by then) and I'm not sure if I can manage that now. We'll see, I guess.  
> And I have a fever and a cough – don't write about ill people, it's bad luck apparently :V  
> Take care, people!


	12. A shooting star shan't fall very far

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long and NSFW.  
> And a lot of talking.  
> Also, I only managed to proofread it once, so there are probably more mistakes than usually in this chapter.

_London Bridge is falling down_  
_Falling down, falling down_  
_London bridge is falling down_  
_My fair lady_  
_Take the key and lock her up_  
_Lock her up, lock her up_  
_Take the key and lock her up_  
_My fair lady_

 

 **01.01.2018 – couple of hours later**  
  
“How many times do I have to repeat myself? I already told everything I know to that... Acquaintance of yours. Along with the description of that other assho... Guy.” Chloe really tried to keep calm and not snap at the man who was currently interrogating her.  
The fact that he was asking her about the same thing over and over was really not helping her with that.

The buzzing, flickering from time to time light above them was also making her angrier by the minute. Even more than all of the people constantly walking around them. “Miss Price, I'm only trying to explain some... Inconsistencies. I need details for that, everything you can remember, not a brief, laconic story.” He had enough of this conversation, same as Chloe, and it was obvious – a slightly annoyed tone was seeping into his voice and his overall posture were betraying his actual feelings.  
But, apart from that, he was really trying to act professional.

“Then you're asking the wrong person.” Chloe muttered, carefully crossing her arms on her chest. She was mostly fine – she only got a few bruises, nothing really concerning.  
She was lucky. “Again - I already told you everything I saw.”

Well, technically, it wasn't a completely true statement. Chloe strategically removed any bits that could paint her like a crazy person from her story.  
You know, just in case.

The policeman probably barely stopped himself from sighing loudly. “Miss Price. I would like to hear more details. Now. Or we can continue this in the precinct, if you prefer that.”

Chloe quickly glanced through the glass doors they were standing near to. His proposition seemed _very_ unappealing, especially right now. She was not going to leave this hospital alone, not a chance in hell. “We were going back from a party, you know, New Year and all that. On foot, because it was a short walk. We stopped for a moment in the alley.” She started with a bored voice. How many times she really had to go through this?

“And you stopped there... Because?” He looked down on his notes, tapping on the paper with his pen.

Oh, yeah, his 'acquittance' never asked about that. They really needed that kind of details in the report? “Eeee, to make out.” Chloe blurted, not sure if she should look away, throw in a smile, quiet chuckle or shrug along with that statement.  
So she did all of those things at once.

Policeman comically slowly lifted up his eyes to look at her face. “Yhym. I... See. And... Why exactly? According to my information, Miss Caulfield's house was, like, two streets away.”

“We... I didn't think that anybody was around. It was early, I was boozed up, for Christ's sake.” A small, tired sigh escaped from her throat. The guilt she was feeling was eating her up ever since they arrived here – it was way more agonizing than the exhaustion and confusion that were also bubbling up in her. They should be at home now, safe, probably sleeping and happy.  
But, since she couldn't keep it in her pants for a little more time, they were spending the first day of this year in a hospital – Chloe trapped here with the police for the last hour and Max laying unconscious on the bed in the room nearby.

This was not how she imagined the 2018 will be. So far – it's been a disaster. A confusing mess.

Policeman nodded, quickly scribbling something in his notes. “And what happened then?”  
“Then those... You know who came along.” Chloe muttered, not even trying to hide the disdain that crept into her voice. “They started shouting, getting closer, forcing us to back up right into the dead end.” She summarized, having a hunch that this kind of answer wasn't going to satisfy him.  
Yeah, it was a good hunch. “What were they saying exactly?” He asked, again not bothering to look up at her from his notes.

Chloe rolled her eyes. She really didn't want to remember that right now, was too tired for this shit – the last time she was in bed was over a day ago, she was still feeling the alcohol in her system and her whole body hurt. The only thing she wanted right now was to go through the glass doors beside her and sit on the ungodly uncomfortable chair near Max's bed.

“Is it really that important?” She tried for the last time.  
This time the policeman wasn't able to contain his slight irritation, letting out a deep sigh. “Miss Price, for the full repo-”  
“Okay, okay, I got it.” She interrupted him, giving up. If she couldn't avoid or postpone it, then it was better to just get it all out quickly. “They had a problem with... Our way of showing affection in public, shouting that it was disgusting, calling us names, you know the drill. I told them to 'fuck off because I don't want trouble' but they didn't listen. Who would've thought?” A sad, completely devoid of even a hint of amusement chuckle emphasized her last sentence.

The cynical smile quickly vanished from her face, replaced with a sour expression as she continued to speak. “They started getting closer so we started retreating. But, since it was a dead end, we quickly found ourselves trapped between a wall of bricks and a wall of douchebags.”

A quiet scribbling was the only response Chloe got, for now at least. A random thought crossed her mind when her eyes landed on his notebook. It seemed 'a little' outdated to her, so to speak. He should have a recorder or something, not a pen with a piece of paper. It was year 2018, not 2000.  
But, apparently, it served it's purpose quite well – technology is not needed everywhere. “And you didn't shout, call for help?”

Chloe exhaled loudly through her nostrils, almost offended. “At 4am? In some secluded alley? Sure, we could've tried that but... I don't know, it was not the first thing that came to my mind in that situation.” She admitted defensively, shrugging. She rarely thought beforehand about her actions, especially in stressful situations, preferring to rely on her instincts – just ask Max, she will confirm it in a heartbeat.  
Besides, during all those years she spent on this world, she learned that she couldn't rely on the majority of her 'friends', not to mention strangers.

“And, since even nobody showed after the gun fired, I was right not to bother with shouting.” She added, defending her actions even more.  
“So, your first reaction was to insult them?” He asked, turning over the page in his notebook. He ran out of space on the first one.

Chloe idly noticed that he was left handed. “No, my first reaction was to protect Max. I started cursing at them because I thought that they would back off if they saw that I was willing to fight.” And they pissed her off, but that was an entirely different topic. “It didn't work, obviously.”

“I see. And what happened then?”  
“After we hit the wall there was really nothing much else to do, besides defending ourselves.” She sighed, letting her arms drop limply along her sides. To be fair, she started fighting with them and Max joined later but Chloe was not going to be so precise. It was enough that she was picturing the whole situation again in her head.

“They started the fight?”  
A small frown disturbed her expression. She was a little afraid of this exact question so, of course, she now had to answer it. “Well, it's complicated..? Theoretically no, I hit one of them first. But, practically, it was a preemptive strike, in self-defense. They were clearly going to attack us, one of them even said something along the line of 'take care of that bitch', what was I supposed to do, let them knock me out first? They were bigger than us and stronger.” Another attempt to justify her actions. She hated doing that, it reminded her too much of her school years – aka one of the most miserable years in her life.

Policeman finally looked at her again, stopping his writing for a second. “It would look better in the report, that's for sure.” He admitted, for a brief moment abandoning the curtain of professionalism he tried to maintain this whole time.

Chloe wasn't really sure what he exactly meant by that - was he being a jackass or just kinda friendly, it was hard to tell.  
It didn't really matter right now. _'Fuck your report.'_ She squinted her eyes a little, causing a few small wrinkles to appear around them.

“And then?” He continued his interrogation, again noting something with his pen.  
“The first one started freaking out about his punched nose, the second one hit me in the stomach, then I tackled him when he focused on Max, then the first one took out his gun – but I didn't see that clearly, I was too busy wrestling with his buddy.” She enumerated quickly, basically in one breath. “Then I heard a gunshot. When I turned my head I saw Max, standing near the guy, she must've tackled him or something before he fired. She was staring at me with utter panic, so she didn't notice when that ass collected himself and aimed at her, shooting her arm.” She added, with a much more intense voice. Just remembering that made her want to kick the living shit out of that guy.

“And what happened with Miss Caulfield?”  
_'And here we go again with lies.'_ “She grabbed her shoulder and took a step back, looking more surprised than anything that he shot her.” First lie. Let's see how far she can go. “Good thing that he stopped caring about her after that, probably thinking Max wasn't going to fight with a hole in her arm. That gave her an opportunity to disarm him.” Second one, much less convincing but let's keep this story rolling.

Policeman raised his eyebrow with disbelief. “With, quoting, 'a hole in her arm'?”  
“Dude, I told you already... Or that pal of yours, what she does for a living. She was in a gunfight before, she was shot a couple of times.” Third lie..? Sort of? Chloe knew about that one time when Max took a bullet, but they never really explored that part of her past. It was still a sensitive topic.

She quickly continued talking, not giving him a chance to pitch in. “Apparently she learned a few thing there. Maybe she isn't... Looking very threatening, but she survived in the war zone for two years. She knows a thing or two about this stuff.” Fourth lie. Max + firearms = total disaster.  
Brunette admitted to her once that she held a gun in her hands maybe, literally, three times in her whole life.  
And two of those were when somebody showed her how to even use it properly.  
To be fair, she fired more bullets in that alley than in her whole life up to that point.

His pen moved rapidly when he noted something on the margin of his notebook. “And then what happened?” He still was looking very unconvinced, but apparently lacked the motivation to pursue this topic with her. For now.

“Then she started shooting. In self-defense.” Four and a half lie?  
“Three times?” Chloe was not surprised to see his doubtful stare. She was fully expecting it.  
“ _In self-defense._ He was still attacking us after he got shot, so the second one was totally justified. The third one... Was an accident. Or nerves, panic, stress, poor judgment... At least I think, since she dropped the gun immediately after.” She sighed, trying to think about something more convincing to say. “She had an accident that almost took her life while she was in Israel, just a few months ago. This whole... 'Situation' was the first seriously dangerous thing that happened to her in this city.” Six lies. Or did that count as seven already?

Either way, there was absolutely no reason for Max to keep shooting and Chloe was aware of that. That guy didn't want to fight back at all - he looked like he was more preoccupied with deciding if he should run away quickly in a straight line, or in a zigzag pattern.

She still had no idea what has gotten into brunette back there. Max that she knew would never react like that. Sure, desperate people act in unpredictable ways, but what she did could be a nice definition of 'overreacting'.  
Also, she didn't look like someone who was panicking. Not to mention the sudden, massive nosebleed.  
Chloe was seriously lost in all this.

“And what were you doing at the time?”  
She stopped herself from making any sarcastic comments. Somehow. “I was staring, like an idiot. The other guy ran away in the meantime but I was more worried about Max and her bleeding body. I couldn't care less about anything else. A fucking dinosaur could run into that alley and I wouldn't give a shit, pardon my French.”

He didn't look offended by her vocabulary. At least not this time. “And the you called the ambulance?”  
“Yeah. They took all of us, then your work pal arrived and started asking questions, then you arrived and started asking the same questions again and then you drilled me about all this minor stuff and I've been standing here for over and hour, instead of sitting in this room over here, with my injured girlfriend.” She grumbled, trying to exploit the already cracking wall of professionalism he still tried to maintain.

It finally worked. “I see. Thank you, Miss Price. We will be contacting you again in the next few days. The same goes for Miss Caulfield. Thank you for your time.”  
“Sure... See you around.” Chloe muttered, escorting him with her gaze until his back disappeared around the corner.

She unglued herself from the wall and walked through the door near her, quickly making her way to Max's bed.

Chloe sat down on the bulky, worn chair that she was earlier occupying without any whining. Her hand automatically found it's way between the sheets to grab the familiar, cold fingers and she squeezed them firmly. Like that was supposed to wake her up.

They had to talk. _Chloe_ had to talk with her. There was no way she was going to ignore or just forget about what she saw, not this time. They already had too much practice with avoiding stuff.  
She needed explanations and she was really hoping to get them soon.

Max shouldn't be unconscious for much longer now – besides that wound and the nosebleed nothing was wrong with her. Everyone said so, repeated that to her every time they walked past or came to check on Max's condition. All of the medical staff couldn't be wrong, right?  
Chloe sighed, focusing her gaze on brunette's face. Soon.

\----------

Her head was heavy, sore and aching - like someone hit it with an iron pan. Repeatedly.

Max carefully opened her eyes, fully expecting to see a bright light bulb from her living room, shining right into her face. Or maybe a street light, winter sun beaming through her window, something along those lines.

Certainly not a fucking fire.

She screamed weakly, more in surprise than anything, quickly sitting up and scuttling away on her knees. Confused, she looked around trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

She was sitting near an enormous, solitary, burning tree that apparently sprouted in the middle of a concrete meadow many decades ago.  
Honestly, it was so big that Max had problems to see it's top from her current position. Flames were engulfing only the lower part of the trunk, slowly, unnaturally making their way up, eating progressively more branches and leaves with a crackling noise.

Her fingers caressed the rough ground. She didn't even notice that she was laying on something so uncomfortable, way to absorbed with everything else that was going on around her. And with her.

She carefully stood up, way too aware of the pain throbbing in her mind, trying to force herself to think. Obviously nothing around her was real, so she was having another one of her stupid dreams. Great. So the question now was, why was she having it now?  
She rubbed her temples, looking away from the burning tree. Dream or not, she was not going to play with fire. It was never a good idea.  
And this... _Obelisk_ was unnerving. To say at least.

“You know, you really shouldn't have done that. It was really not _polite_... but I can't say that I'm disappointed.” Max turned around at the sound of that stupid, instantly recognizable voice she hated, letting out a disheartened sigh that instantly formed in her throat.

But the snappy, sarcastic response she already had at the tip of her tongue, never came out after her eyes met with her Copy. The individual that stood behind her was still exactly the person she expected to see – a short, freckled brunette. But instead of the skinny, sick version of herself, Max was looking at a _perfect_ version of herself – no scars or other imperfections, healthy skin and a confident smile lighting up her whole face.

She managed to regain her composure only after her Copy opened her mouth again. “It's also not polite to stare.”  
“What the fuck happened?” Max asked, finally remembering how to use her vocal cords. She absentmindedly noticed that her Copy was probably the only... - Person? Being? Figment of her imagination? - that she had absolutely no problem with swearing at.  
It probably said a lot. Her therapist, if she had one, would be all over this.

“Oh my God, it's also not polite to talk like that. This is your idea of saying hello? So, fucking, impolite, Maxine. Well, more than usually at least.” A smirk highlighted her face even more. She seemed more nonchalant than normally – Max didn't think it was even possible.

She couldn't shake off the feeling that something was very, very wrong. That something bad happened. “Answer me.” She growled, wanting to skip all this dancing they typically performed before getting to the point. She was really not in the mood for bickering with... Herself.  
There was also this strange premonition hanging in the air, like there was no time for stupid chitchat. Ironic, considering who we are talking about.

Copy clicked her tongue. “Don't be like that, come on. When was the last time we saw each other? And you start with this shit, not even bothered to properly say hello... And yet they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder.” She didn't even try to hide this dumb, sly smile that twisted her face. It matched perfectly with the irreverent tone in her voice, her gestures and even the smallest movements. “Okay, sure, let's play it your way for now. You deserve it after everything you did... You don't remember, do you?”

Max furrowed her brow even harder. She was in the middle of making sense of this whole situation when Copy 'greeted' her.  
She blinked twice, trying to recall what happened. New Year's Eve. She was walking with Chloe to the party... No, probably from the party, since she remembered tasting alcohol on her tongue and breath. Lampposts were still illuminating the streets, that she was sure of – she was distracted by one, shining right into her face, before Chloe's head blocked it from her view when...

Her face softened a little. “Oh.” A quiet mumble escaped with her breath, without her even realizing it.  
Copy rolled her eyes, moving towards her. Max could feel how the hair on her forearms brushed against her Doppelgänger's skin when she passed her slowly. She noticed a faint scent of sulfur and... Ozone? Yeah, that was it - way too distinguishable to mistake it for something else. Fresh, strong smell, like air after a storm.  
_'Ozone is toxic.'_ Her brain informed her, apparently remembering this from her school years. An idle thought.

Max felt even more anxious than she already did.  
But, at least, it wasn't that putrid, rotting smell – she didn't feel like she was talking with an embodiment of death any longer.  
More like she spoke with pure danger.

“Yeah yeah, 'oh', how unexpected, blah blah. Keep going, you're not even on the best part.” Copy hurried her, way to absorbed by the charred bark she was carefully examining to even glance in her direction. Max watched for a moment as the woman touched the flaming trunk without hesitation and ostentatiously ripped some bark from it, crushing it in her hands with fake curiosity.

Brunette swallowed quietly. She had to get out of here.

Instead of asking how she knew about her thoughts, Max focused on her memories. It was harder than it should be – like the black smoke covering the dark sky above them was flooding her mind, clogging it.  
The headache also was not helping. At all.

She exhaled slowly, trying not to take deep breaths. She didn't want that smoke leaving any additional residue in her lungs – even if those were not her real lungs.  
Let's see – drunk Chloe, alley, some guys, a pist-  
“I rewound time, didn't I?” She muttered under her breath, not really needing any confirmation. Of course she did. It explained everything... And nothing at the same time.

“Ten points for Hufflepuff.” Apparently now she was worthy of a quick glance. “In the best case scenario _maybe_ for Ravenclaw, but let's be realistic.”

Max ignored that comment, looking with an alarmed expression on her face at the only other 'living' being in this godforsaken place. “What happened? How long ago? What about Chloe!?” She took a few shaky steps towards the tree, really trying not to look at that abomination and not to cower too much under the heat emanating from it.  
“Calm down, bitch is fine.” Copy brushed off the ash from her hands in the most bored way Max ever saw anybody do anything. Even yawning would've looked like a more entertaining action.

But the look on her face quickly changed when they locked eyes. There was fire in them, pure flame – there were no other words to describe it. There was no sign of that calm, blue, doe-like stare Chloe was so used to by now. “Unlike you. Really, couldn't you rewind sooner? Like, way, way sooner, when you were still making out like some horny teenagers behind the school after class, as soon as you noticed that guys? You've been thinking about it for a while, don't deny it. It was the perfect occasion and what happened? You almost chickened out.”

Max, taken aback by all this, was still trying to make sense of her current situation. But a small part of her soul calmed down after hearing that Chloe was okay. There was still a possibility that her Copy was lying, but something told her that it was unlikely. A hunch.

She straightened her back, squinting her eyes when a bigger burst of blinding fire erupted above them. Apparently flames started devouring another branch. “What happened to me?” Max asked quietly. She didn't die, did she? She wouldn't be dreaming now... Or whatever this was, if she was dead.  
Sure, there was always a possibility that this was hell – but if so then she was truly disappointed.

Copy scoffed, pressing her back to the tree like it wasn't on fire. “Nothing serious, thankfully. You'll end up with another round scar on your shoulder, no big deal.”  
“I...” She opened her mouth for a brief moment, quickly shutting it down again. She remembered sudden, sharp pains – in plural form. If she was shot multiple times her perfect twin wouldn't pass the occasion to rub it in her face more.

“Talk, use your words, you useless burn out. What more do you remember, out with it.” Harsh voice chimed in, interrupting her yet again.  
Max sent her an annoyed look. “Fuck off.”

A chuckle reached her ears, somehow not at all suppressed by the sound of crackling fire. “Perfect, you're on a good path. But it's still not quite the level of anger you achieved last time, focus.”

Brunette scoffed, trying to ignore another wave of panic that flooded her guts. “I shot him.” She finally mumbled, looking at her hands. That would explain the pain she felt from the recoil, however she felt perfectly fine right now. Better than she did for weeks anyway – if not for the headache, of course.

A sudden clap almost made her jump. “Bingo! And more than once!”  
“I don't remember that. At all. But I _know_ that I didn't want to shoot him.” She mumbled almost silently, involuntarily glancing at the feeding fire. It was hypnotizing.

Copy knew exactly what Max muttered under her breath. Just like she knew what she was thinking earlier. “Well, you fired the gun three times at him – and only three times because Price stopped you – so excuse me for not believing you on that.”  
Disbelief flickered in her pupils. “Three? I-” Max cut off abruptly, words stuck in her throat. She wanted to deny that, say that it can't be the truth – but she instantly knew that it wasn't a lie. She just _knew_.  
_'I need to get out of here.'_

Copy rolled her eyes, extending a hand towards Max. “Come here, before your panic attack starts or something.” She sighed, like she felt sorry for her. Or got bored with this awfully sluggish rate at what brunette was remembering things.  
Yeah, it was probably that.

Max looked at her like if she suddenly sprouted branches from her ears. “You've got to be kidding me now. I have no atom in me that would want to get close to you or that... Tree.” Loud scoff emphasized her words, even if her clouded eyes, that were focused on the flames, were telling an entire different story. She almost felt like being summoned to it.

“For the love of God, come here or I will make you move.” Angry, hissed out threat was a little more convincing... Well, it at least clearly showed that Max didn't really have any choice in the matter.

She slowly exhaled the air she was holding in her lungs for a couple of seconds and slowly started making her way towards the extended hand.  
She was expecting many things to happen – for her arm to fall off, a flaming branch to crush her head, ghost ravens picking at her eyeballs, thunder hitting her – at this point, anything was possible.  
The careful, warm touch that caressed her skin was probably the only thing she was not prepared for.

Max gasped quietly when Copy took her hand and pulled her close, way too close. She could feel overwhelming warmth seeping into her innards, immediately making her panting.  
“Look, Maxine.” Copy started, almost purring into her ear. She felt uncomfortable and stiff, but was very grateful that the smell engulfing her was, for once, bearable. “Whatever you think of me just know that I'm very grateful. I still don't really like you and don't really share your... _Values,_ and I condemn most choices you make – although I must admit, crippling that ass instead of killing him was an _interesting_ one – but I'm sincerely thankful. You listened to me earlier.”

Max had problems with slowing her breath and stopping the shivers that traveled down her spine – but her brain was now working flawlessly. She instantly knew what this was about. It had to be about her attempts on the balcony.  
Because if not about that, then what else?

But that wasn't what made her tremble, no. It was the sudden flood of memories and feelings she was experiencing. She remembered all three shots she put in that guy, Chloe's scream, rage so intense it felt like it was eating away her senses...

Max groaned, closing her eyes and grabbing Copy arm to support herself on something, unexpectedly weak in her knees. It was either her or the sizzling trunk behind her so... The choice, although not at all good, was obvious.

She could swear she heard how the grin on Copy's face widened even more. “Great. You remember.”  
“Get out of my head.” Max mumbled quietly, still without opening her eyes, finally acknowledging the thing that she was getting more and more concerned about. “It's creepy.”

Low, sad chuckle that she received in response was surprising. “I'm not in your head. I don't have to be.” Copy spoke, moving her hands to Max's shoulders and forcing her to stand firmly in front of her. “Listen, since I'm in a good mood: no more suppressing, it's never a good thing. Especially not when it concerns a godlike power you got from fuck knows where from and you kept training with it, like an idiot.” She rolled her eyes so hard that she had to see her brain for a second.

Pressure on Max's skin increased a little and she realized that she was slowly regaining her composure. She stopped shivering and, however her lungs felt like they were on fire and she could feel sweat pouring down her back, her breath calmed, even if just a little. “Stupid idea. Who plays with something like that, without thinking about consequences, really? I bet you also collect used needles from junkyards or some shit like that.”

Now Max had a burning desire to roll her eyes. No pun intended.  
Comparing it to something like that wasn't doing it justice – it was a much more serious and thought through matter than Copy presented it. Not to mention that she, ultimately, decided to use it for helping people, not for some selfish reasons at all. However that turned out...

Frankly, she was insulted.  
And yes, maybe she didn't really think too much about consequences of developing her power, sure, but still. Rude. “Doesn't matter. You made it in time, that's important. There will be consequences, get ready for that, stop being a coward, embrace your power, yada yada yada, you can guess the rest. You don't have much time, time traveler.” With that, Max found herself again all alone, deprived of that comforting – fucking shit, she actually found it _nice_ – touch on her arms.

She nervously looked around, checking if she really just got left here. Since the heat couldn't do it anymore, a loud crackle reminded her how close she was standing to the flaming tree and she took a few steps back.

Groaning with fatigue, she lifted up her chin. “Why are you like this?! Can't you just be normal?! I never asked for this... For any of this! Just tell me what am I supposed to actually do to stop it!” Her voice, barely louder than the feeding fire, traveled above the depressing meadow. It wasn't necessary – she could whisper and her Copy would hear her, she knew that – but there was something freeing in screaming.  
And Max was lacking that feeling for years now.

“Are _you_ normal?” Another one of those sad laughters filled the air. Max had trouble deciding if she preferred this pseudo nice but embittered version or the old, malefic one. This current seemed too... Real. Too tangible. Unnervingly so. “But seriously, I... I tried. I already sa- Ugh, look, I'm just trying to make it right this time, all of it. Even if it means nothing to you now. Make a right choice, you ass.”

This time she was left completely alone. The sudden feeling of emptiness she felt was not something she expected at all but it was sending a clear message.

She glanced at the tree, her only companion. “This is fucking bullshit.” She stated, like it could hear her. Maybe it could in this world? Who knows.  
She had more pressing matters at hand to attend to. Like, for example, how the fuck she was supposed to escape this on her own?

\----------

**04.01.2018 – three days later**

“Chloe, you can't sit here for an eternity.”  
“Fucking watch me.” Something that was meant to be an angry bark flew out of her mouth. It sounded more like an exhausted moan.  
“You've been here for days. You _sleep_ on this stupid chair.” Steph calmly responded, looking at the tall, blonde girl with sympathetic expression on her face.

Chloe really wanted for her to stop doing that. She didn't need it now. “I can sleep on this stupid chair. Nobody tried to kick me out so far.”

Steph sighed, putting down the foil bag she brought with her onto the small table on the other side of the bed. “That's not what I was concerned about and you know it.” She said, fully expecting exactly that kind of response from Chloe – more, she would be disappointed if anything besides stubborn protests escaped her throat.

The room felt silent after that. Chloe's gaze was glued to Max's static face, like it was, well, basically always lately – with exceptions to when she was catching up on some sleep, or helping herself to some coffee from the vending machine down the corridor. The slowly moving up and down chest under the sheets was the only evidence that Max was still alive.  
An irrational, dumb fear nested in Chloe's heart for the last couple of days – by now she was almost convinced that brunette will die if she left her side for more than just a couple of minutes. She knew that it was an utterly stupid idea but she couldn't help it.

Exactly 68 hours passed since she heard that Max was going to wake up in a couple of hours.  
Because there was nothing wrong with her.  
She was just exhausted and stressed.

68 fucking hours. That's definitely not a definition of 'a couple' and Chloe didn't pass on the occasion to loudly remind one of the doctors of that fact.

Steph stood there for a while, finally giving up. How many more times could she try talking some sense into her? Last two times didn't work and this one wasn't going to either. She knew her for long enough to know that. “I brought you some more food. I understand why you don't want to leave to get some rest but you should at least eat something. _Please._ ”

Chloe didn't want any food. She didn't give a rat's ass about that. She couldn't even pretend to be thankful, more, didn't show any sign of acknowledging anything that was just said to her – she knew that she should at least smile or fucking nod but...

She should apologize to Steph about that.  
Later. If Max wakes up.  
... _When._ When Max wakes up.

Chloe didn't even notice when she was left alone with that small, unconscious, precious girl in the room, far too occupied with her own, depressing thoughts.  
She had enough. She needed answers for all of those questions that were buzzing in her mind like a locust swarm. Why nobody could figure out why Max was not waking up? For how long will this continue? Will she be alright after it? What happened in that alley? How it happened?  
She just had to know.

Placing her chin on the mattress near brunette's arm, she squeezed her hand tighter. By now it was probably permanently melted with her own.

But more than anything, Chloe needed for Max to wake up.

\----------

**??.??.???? - ???**

Inhale.  
Ignore the unpleasant burning in lungs and throat.  
Don't let the overwhelming feeling of helplessness and panic settle in.  
Exhale.  
Don't let it settle in.  
Loop and repeat until any kind of sensible idea pops up.  
Flawless plan.

Max opened her eyes, once again engraving the image of the flaming obelisk in her mind. She couldn't tell how much minutes/hours/days have passed since she was left alone in here – it was hard to keep the track of time when there was no sun, no moon, no nothing, besides a tree that was slowly being consumed by fire.  
And it wasn't really helpful in telling time.

She was sitting cross-legged on the concrete, in a considerable distance from that arsonist's wet dream, trying to think.  
This was a new situation. Usually the nightmares ended when her Copy was done with sending her a message – and Max thought that it would be just like that now.  
Well, by looking at her current whereabouts, it was certainly not the case.

She already tried just moving away from the tree but, no matter in which way she started walking, sooner or later she always ended up in front of it. Either she just moved in circles or this crap was teleporting around with her.  
She also tried rewinding time, fruitlessly, to her own surprise. She wasted at least half a minute after that, just standing and looking at her hand with a dumb expression.

Now she was trying to wait it out, even if this seemed like a really bad idea – Max still felt like she didn't have time to waste.  
But she was getting desperate.

Deciding that it was enough already, she stood up, slowly making her way towards the tree. There were some other things she could try that she would really prefer not to. But, since she was supposed to 'stop being a coward', whatever that meant...

She could try killing herself. She was dreaming, dying here wouldn't be anything serious... Probably?  
The problem was, the idea of suicide didn't scare her. It was an unsettling thought that made something painfully tight up in her guts and her palms all sweaty, but she wasn't afraid of dying. She wanted to live, sure, but after everything, after seeing so many people die and negating it over and over... Death started to seem like something almost _ordinary._ Shallow even.  
That was, if we were talking about her own... 'Time of perishing'. She was scared of Chloe dying, like constantly, but there was no way she could take advantage of that in here.  
No, it had to be about something else.

She didn't like fire. Never did – thunderstorms, earthquakes, tornadoes, gun fights, robbery – it was all either bearable or not phasing her at all by now. But fire? Conflagration? Arsons?  
There was a reason why every living thing was running away as soon as there was a fire. Nothing about it was safe, calming or peaceful.

A shaky breath that Max let out was supposed to soothe her nerves, while she made her way to the blackened trunk. Ignoring the heat building up in her chest she slowly lifted up her left hand towards the bark, convinced that this is a bad idea. The only one she had left, yeah, but it was still bad.  
Well, her Copy didn't have any problems with it. And since she tried to help her earlier... At least it seemed like it? Max was still not convinced of that, but something changed between them, that much was clear.

Trying to swallow with her dry throat, she touched the tree with her fingertips, ready to retreat them in an instant.  
Fortunately she didn't have to. Instead of getting some nasty burns on her skin, Max felt a wave of excitement passing through her body and soul. Her breath quickened, pulse skyrocketed, heat in her core whirled.

Without thinking about it, she clenched her fist in the same way she did in that alley, crushing the charred bark between her fingers with a satisfactory crunch, clearly audible in the sudden, deafening silence that surrounded her.

Max glanced around, taking two sluggish, slow steps back. Everything was completely still – 'everything', since there was nothing else around, meaning the flames that never before ceased in their feasting.  
She wasn't really a big fan of this whole scenery.

A small sting of pain hit her temples, reminding her of her current situation. Right, there was no time for 'admiring' the landscape. The pain was way weaker than the one she felt minutes/hours/days ago, but unpleasant enough to rush her.

Controlling her breathing, Max carefully started to loosen her fist, forcing time to move backwards, quicker and quicker. Black remains of charred wood slowly unglued themselves from her sweaty palm, traveling back to the tree, rebuilding its' bark. She didn't have to lift her head up to know that the fire started going back down from the top, reconstructing the previously burned branches and leaves. She wouldn't be able to see them from her current position anyway.

She kept rewinding, pleasantly surprised that she was not getting tired as quickly as she expected. It was her intention to go back as far as it was possible for her, even if she didn't really know why she wanted to do that. Why it suddenly felt like something right to do.  
She learned long ago not to ignore her hunches.  
Even when her head started getting dizzy and she started losing focus she didn't stop.  
She really had to get out of here.

\----------

**05.01.2018 – one day later**

Chloe wasn't really sure if she was still sane. There was a big possibility that she had gone crazy from all this time she spent here, in this uncomfortable chair. She was lethargic, weary and so full of caffeine that it was a miracle her heart was still holding up fine. She didn't trust her own body right now, wondering if anything was even real or just a figment of her imagination.

So she suppressed the small flame of hope that appeared in her chest when she felt Max's hand tightening a little around her fingers.  
It was hard to do.

Opening her eyes, Chloe focused her stare on brunette's face, waiting. She didn't notice when her thumb started to lightly caress Max's scarred skin.  
Imagine her surprise when her gaze was met with big, lost blue eyes peering into her soul, instead of a pair of closed eyelids. “Max! Jesus Christ, finally.” She practically jumped out of her chair, quickly leaning over her girlfriend, with expression so full of care and relief, that it was almost too hard to look at.

Before Max managed to respond in any sensible way, a thin arm carefully looped around her and warm fingers entangled themselves in her hair. Familiar, faint smell of vanilla mixed with sweat entered her nostrils when Chloe burrowed her face in the crook of her neck. It wasn't unpleasant at all – quite the opposite actually. It was soothing, relaxing, bringing back memories.

Max blinked, trying to figure out where they were. It didn't look like an alley, her living room or a dream.  
Thank God for that last one.

She slowly started lifting her hand to reciprocate the hug, quickly forced to abandon that idea when she felt pain in her shoulder. She hissed quietly without thinking, causing Chloe to move back with concern. “Shit, sorry, I forgot.” She mumbled apologetically, moving her hand from the back of Max's head to her cheek, cupping it fondly.

Brunette opened her mouth to say something but the only thing that came out was a pained grunt. After swallowing with difficulty, she tried again. “No, it was not you.” She said quietly, forcing a weak smile to appear on her face and lifted her other arm, gently placing her palm on Chloe's forearm. “What... What time is it?” She asked, trying to hide her concern – it wasn't hard to do so since the emotions in her voice were quite efficiently masked by the hoarseness of it.

“Ummm...” Chloe glanced at the phone lying on the armrest, tapping the screen to light it up. “Half past 7pm.” She read out aloud, quickly trying to decide how to share the much more worse news with brunette.  
Max unawarely brought up the topic by herself. “I guess, from your earlier reaction, that I missed the first day of the year?” She tried joking, completely not expecting the response she was about to get.

“Maxie... It's the fifth of January.” Chloe said, dead serious, without even a small hint of previous merriment in her voice. Her previously free hand, again, found her way into brunette's palm.  
Smile disappeared from her face, right away replaced by a mix of disbelief and concern. Or fear. “I... What? No, that can't be right, it didn't seem like so much, it couldn't have...” Her voice trailed off when she realized that she started to speak louder and wasn't making much sense right now.

She swallowed again. Her throat was itching and she would kill for some water. “This can't be true. I've been out for five whole days? But I-”  
“Max, hey, stop, don't. It's fine, you're fine now.” Chloe shifted her just ever so slightly shaking hand onto brunette's forehead, brushing aside a couple of loose strands from her eyes. Leaning forward again, she gently pressed her lips on the now exposed skin. “You're okay now. I was so fucking worried.” She whispered, not bothering to hide the relief in her trembling voice. Like she was on a verge of tears.

Despite her current bothered state, Max noticed that and instantly focused on it. The fear gnawing at the back of her mind was toned down by the surge of gratitude and affection for that single, thin, tall woman.

Of course she was worried about her. From her perspective the last five days must have been terrible – left like that, without any kind of explanation for what even happened, not knowing what was going on and why her girlfriend was unconscious for so long, seemingly for no reason.

Max was sure that Chloe saw her rewinding back there. She had to, she was looking right at her since that first bullet pierced her shoulder.  
Brunette didn't even want to think how it must've looked from her point of view – all that gun swapping thing, shooting, her loss of control...

Max wouldn't be mad if Chloe kept her distance after that. She had every right to stop trusting her so much, to have doubts, to question everything about her.  
Max would understand.

But no, instead of that, she apparently sat beside her for days, just waiting for brunette to wake up, welcoming her the second she did with so much relief, that it almost made her cry.

She awkwardly lifted again her right arm, wrapping it carefully around Chloe's back. _'God, I love her.'_ She confessed in her mind, only now acknowledging this. Of course she did, for a long time. How couldn't she, after everything that happened and was happening now? It was as obvious and clear as the fact, that the sun was always rising in the east, but Max still felt stupidly overwhelmed by the realization.  
She was never too keen on addressing her feelings even to herself, not to mention talking about them. Love was not something she deserved to receive or give, not in her mind. Not after that menacing ' _everything that happened'_.

Max weakly clenched her fist on Chloe's shirt. Now she wanted to cry.  
“I'm sorry Che, I'm so sorry.” She finally responded with a whisper, to conceal her own shakiness. “I never knew it was going to end like this, it was supposed to be different, I didn't want to do that, he was going to shoot you, ma-”  
“Shhh, babe, I know. It's okay.” Chloe interrupted her once again before her ramble got out of control. She moved back a little to look Max in the eyes.

“No, it's not, I shouldn't ha-” This time brunette was cut off by a pair of soft lips that tenderly crushed into her. It was a soothing, loving kiss that melt away the cold weight in her heart.  
In that moment she was convinced that nothing else mattered anymore, besides that woman. Fuck her power, fuck Copy, fuck death and all those lost days – Chloe was the only thing worth caring about in this godforsaken world.

“I'm the one that is sorry, Max.” She heard when they parted after a while.  
Brunette shoot Chloe a questioning glance, not particularly sure what she was talking about. “For what?”

“It was a stupid thing to do.” She muttered, sitting down once again on the chair, still not letting go of Max's hand. “I shouldn't have done that. Stopping in that place was a dumb idea to begin with, not to mention making out in there. Like I couldn't fucking wait for just a couple of minutes. Nothing bad would've happened, you wouldn't be injured now and...” Chloe sighed, trailing off. The guilt in her voice was clear.

Max almost couldn't believe in what she was hearing right now. “Che, don't tell me you spent the last few days sitting here and blaming yourself for this shit.” She muttered, lifting up her brows. “It's not your fault, don't be ridiculous. You didn't tell them to attack us, did you? It was not you who brought out a gun and started shooting... Like him.” Max took a moment to clear her throat, still wishing she had any water around to drink. “We were unlucky, that's all, shit happens. Especially to me.”

Chloe lifted her head up, biting on her tongue. She wanted to say something, to finally mention the elephant in the room but words failed her.  
It was not a good time. Not in here, not now.  
And she really didn't want to be the first one to mention it.

So they sat in silence for a while, waiting until somebody came by to check on Max.

\----------

She discharged from the hospital not even an hour later – they advised her not to, but there was no reason to stay for observation. She just wanted to go home, probably same as Chloe who would kill for some sleep in a proper bed.  
If they managed to fall asleep today anyway.

Max also had to talk with the police sooner or later and it was a problematic thing. What could she even say to them to not be classified as either a loony or a threat to the humanity, that should be apprehended by the government?  
Okay, she overdramatized a little but still. She was not a good liar, especially when she had to talk with some authoritarian figure.

Sighing, Max turned on the lights in her living room and locked the doors behind them. They called a taxi to drive them home and spent the entire road surrounded by a heavy, awkward silence – at least it had to look like that to their driver. He couldn't see Chloe's hand placed on Max's knee and how she let their fingers to intertwine and idly play with each other.  
Brunette, still a little afraid that now, since she was fine and dandy, Chloe would stop feeling so relieved and start to keep her distance, was thankful for this.

Taking off her girlfriend's jacket (her own was in no way appropriate to wear in public, not with that hole and blood stains on it) she collapsed on the couch, biting down on her lip to muffle the hiss that tried to escape her mouth when she felt pain in her shoulder. She should really be more careful.

Feeling like she was the one that should start, Max focused her gaze at Chloe. The problem was, she had no idea how to start. 'Hey, about my super powers...'?  
But her girlfriend was not yet ready to join her on the couch. Instead, she made her way into the kitchen, opening the fridge and taking out two beers from it. Max didn't even know she had those in the first place.

Two bottles quietly knocked on the wooden table in front of her. Chloe sat, surprisingly, right beside them, crossing her legs.  
She took one of the beers, offering the second one to brunette. When she shook her head Chloe just shrugged, removing the cap with a set of keys and taking a big swing. “So... Um... Kinda bad weather, huh?” She looked a little intimidating sitting like that, in front of brunette, a little elevated and with ruffled hair.

Max cleared her throat. “Okay, I know that you probably have some questions-”  
“No shit.” Chloe interjected, chuckling without humor. Above all else, she sounded tired.  
“-and I will try to answer them. If I'm able to.” Max finished, looking at Chloe hesitantly. A few months ago she promised herself that they'll never have to start this conversation, that this part of her life was over and done.  
Well, shit happens. Especially to her.

“Just like that? Okay, sure, yeah.” Chloe shifted a little on the table, pulling in closer her legs. “So, for starters, a simple question – What. The. Fucking. Shit. Max.” Taking another swig of her beer she glanced away for a second, huffing. “Seriously, what the fuck happened back there? How did you do that whole gun swapping thing and did you really fucking teleported or am I delusional? Why did you go apeshit on that piece of trash?”

Max involuntarily sank down into the couch under the accumulation of so many questions, basically shrinking right before Chloe's eyes. She should've established a 'one at a time' rule before they started.

“I... I didn't want to do any of that.” Max muttered, rubbing the scarred spot on her arm. “I never wanted to do it again, not after that freak accident in Israel I wasn't meant to live through. I shouldn't even be here now.”

Chloe lifted her brow with concern. “What's that supposed to even mean? You got radiated or something, given some amazing abilities or shit like that? You've never been a reporter but a memb-”  
“Che, please. Don't joke now, do I look like a super soldier to you?” Max sighed, rolling her eyes more aggressively than she wanted to. It was difficult enough to talk about this without Chloe's attempts to lighten the mood. She never even mentioned this to anyone before.  
It was serious. And important.

Chloe leaned down towards her a little more, barely noticeably shuffling on the table. “Yes. But sorry. Go on.” She send her a much more serious stare than before.

Brunette cleared her throat, not even considering commenting on that. “I... I can control time.” She had to correct herself before ending the sentence. For a second she wanted to say 'rewind' but that was no longer adequate, wasn't it?  
She wasn't sure if Chloe would believe her, even after what she saw. It was an absurd statement that belonged in a sci-fi or fantasy novel, not in real life, told with a straight face.

So Max couldn't even begin to describe how thankful she was when Chloe, instead of laughing and doubting her, sent her a curious look, completely deprived of any mockery. “Okay... How?”  
“Fuck if I know. I just discovered one day that I can rewind time.” She mumbled, crossing her arms carefully on her chest. She could feel the bandage on her shoulder rubbing against her skin a little.

A shadow of amusement appeared on Chloe's face before she washed it down with another sip of beer. “Just like that? You found out about being a time traveler while eating a fucking breakfast? That's the worst origin story I've ever heard in my entire life. And, mind you, I'm familiar with the lamest ones from comic books.” She chuckled quietly before remembering her promise from not even a minute ago. “Shit, sorry, no joking.”

Max furrowed her brow. “No, not really during breakfast...” She mumbled, trying to recall the exact moment she rewound for the first time. “I guess I just woke up one day with this power? I can't really remember, it was a long time ago.” A simple shrug accompanied her words. If something in fact happened and triggered her powers that day, then it wasn't so important if she couldn't recall it.  
Although... Maybe she had some nightmares during that period of her life? That she blamed on the school and exams?

Chloe tilted her head a little, observing the brunette sitting in front of her. “How 'long ago' are we exactly talking about here?”  
“'Before I finished school' long ago. I became a war reporter practically only to put this power to good use, help people... I didn't want to take pictures of nature or some models when-”

A loud noise interrupted her when the bottle met with the wooden table, after Chloe abruptly lowered her hand. “Wait, Caulfield, hold on for a minute.” She said, wiping away a few rogue droplets of beer left on her lips with her wrist. “Are you saying that this was the only reason why you took this career? You fucking serious?” A clearly bewildered expression on her face would be almost funny under different circumstances.

Max blinked, a little unnerved by this kind of reaction. She didn't expect Chloe to focus on that part of her story. She could manipulate time for fuck's sake, why wasn't that much more important? “Y-Yeah. I got them for some reason, right? Keeping them for myself would be really selfish.” She mumbled, without really thinking.

The disbelieving stare she was being presented with didn't disappear. “You are aware that there are many different ways to help people with that kind of powers, right?” Chloe asked, rolling her eyes and putting down the already empty bottle on the other side of the table. She ignored the second beer, for now at least.

Max sighed quietly before responding. She spent many nights just thinking about that exact thing. “And how many of that other ways are linked with photography? I couldn't just tell my friends and parents, after years and years of pestering them about cameras, photos and even insisting on majoring in that field, that I suddenly wanted to become a surgeon. Nobody would've believed me... And I couldn't just abandon it either.”

The fact that she didn't even look at her camera for months now was something else completely. She had every right to not care about it for now, not with all this shit she's been trying to deal with.  
Although she missed it tremendously. Even if she wasn't yet quite ready to do something about it. “I just wanted to help and this job seemed perfect to do so. What could be better than saving someone's life? Even if they were never meant to know about that.”

Chloe was silent for a few long seconds, truly rocking the look of someone who was just informed that Satan is real and walks amongst humans. Her gaze was so intense that Max couldn't help but wince a little. “Babe, how the fuck do your lungs have enough room to breath when your heart is so big?” She finally spoke, moving closer towards her.  
The table creaked in protest.

Max forced her lips to close when she realized how they became slightly parted after hearing that question. She averted her gaze, flustered.  
Compliments were still something she wasn't sure how to deal with, especially when they were coming from Chloe. “Sh- Shut up.” She stuttered again, trying to sink deeper into the couch. Like it was even possible.

Chloe laughed heartily at her reaction, again moving closer to sit right in front of her, with her legs now lazily hanging around Max's knees. Her ass was still resting on the table and they weren't touching in any way but if brunette wanted to get up... Well, it wouldn't be easy. “No no, not a chance. What the fuck, you stupid, adorable dork. You basically sacrificed your life to help some random people? And here I am, thinking about how would I exploit this kind of power. I'd probably rob banks or something like that.” She admitted, 100% certain of that.  
“I'm not... Whatever, that's not the point.” Max mumbled, her cheeks flushed even more. She was definitely not 'adorable', especially not now.

She sighed, going back to the topic at hand to escape from Chloe's flattering remarks. “Anyway. I started regularly training this power. I don't really want to go into details since they're really complicated so the short version – I survived that accident only because of that. Barely. And sacrificed the rest of passengers just to save my own skin in the process.” She mumbled, looking everywhere but at Chloe.

It was easier that way.  
The table creaked again and brunette felt a hand on her knee.  
It was harder that way. “Max...”

“I really should've died with them, Chloe. My rewinding time basically stripped them from any chance of surviving that attack. Because of me they were hit right on the windshield instead on the side.” She really didn't want to think about it again, she spent enough nights feeling guilty and sorry for herself but her tongue seemed to move on it's own. She still felt that way and doubted if it would ever stop. “I lost control, panicked and they died. So much for a super soldier.”

“Fuck, come on Maxie... I'm really sorry for them but it's not your fault. I saw the pictures, that car was a total wreck. Nobody would survive that, no matter if it got hit on the front, back or roof. And to try and survive is not a crime.” Chloe moved her hand to grasp Max's palm, noticing how cold it was.

Brunette finally turned her head and focused her eyes on the face leaning in front of her. “After that I refused to rewind again. Ever. Since I couldn't save anyone... Not that it mattered, I wasn't able to force myself to even try to use it again. But then the nightmares started.” She continued, placing her other palm on Chloe's fingers, now enveloping them with both her hands. Her skin was smooth and soft, nails well-kept and painted. It was so different in comparison to her own wrinkled and scarred skin.  
Her grip tightened while she sacrificed a second to push away this kind of stupid, negative thoughts. There was no point in comparing something so idiotic and meaningless, she knew that.

“Strange, abstract nightmares. One thing was clear in them – I had to use my powers again. I just had to, they were accumulating, building up in me... Or at least it felt like that. Not a great feeling, 2/10, I do not recommend.”  
Apparently Chloe was rubbing off on her since she just tried to joke. Poorly, but still.  
Or she just felt better because of her touch. She was so used to it that she relaxed almost instantly under it, like on command. Pavlov would be proud.

“Remember that situation on the balcony from more than a week ago? Yeah, I tried to rewind. God forgive me, I tried, after everything, after I promised not to do it ever again.” She sighed with tiredness and just a hint of anger in her voice. “Then that disaster in the alley happened... I, again, stopped thinking clearly. I'm starting to suspect that my brain just refuses to cooperate with me in stressful situations... And, because of that, I almost fucked it up, again. He was pointing the gun at you, for fuck's sake!” If not for Chloe's hand holding her, Max's arms would flail in the air now, gesticulating wildly.

She took a deep breath, bracing herself before continuing. “But I wasn't excepting time to stop. I couldn't do it earlier, the high of my abilities was to just rewind very, very slowly. After that... I'm not sure what really happened. But after taking the gun from him and glancing at his stupid, angry face and his hand pointed at you I just felt so much anger flooding my mind...” Her voice trailed off for a moment while she involuntarily remembered that feeling. “I wanted to shoot him in the head. I wanted to actually kill him, Che. I _needed_ to do that, like I suddenly lost self-control. But I was exhausted after that party and, probably only because of that, I managed not to shoot him in the head, instead just crippling him. _Just._ Good job, me.” She once again averted her eyes, focusing them on her lap. She didn't need Chloe to see how glassy they were – it was enough that she could feel how her hands trembled. “Using powers was a mistake.” She whispered, more to convince herself than to continue with the story.

“No, no, not at all.” Max glanced at Chloe's thumb slowly circling on her wrist. Only now she realized that she still had feeling in her hands. It usually disappeared quickly after she stopped using her powers.  
She wasn't really sure if it was a good or bad thing.  
And she had similarly mixed feelings about Chloe's words. “Che, I almost killed him.” Max repeated, emphasizing that fact. Some support and assurance was great but she couldn't really think that... Right? Murder was very high on her list of 'things I never want to deal with and are ultimately bad'.  
Yeah, it was an outdated list but that's not the point.

“He almost killed you.” Chloe leaned a little, unsuccessfully trying to catch Max's eyes. “And me. He almost killed us. I say we're even.”  
Brunette quickly shook her head, sending few of her loose strands of hair right into her eyes. “How can you be so fine with this?”

A small, caring smile appeared on Chloe's face. Max didn't have to look up to know about it's existence – it was seeping into her next words. “I'd rather see him dying than you.” She admitted, skipping right past any moral dilemmas that these kind of statement brought. It wasn't surprising, but still very grey morally.

And kind of distressing. And emotional. And touching. And a little exciting.  
And Max should stop thinking about it. “I... I don't know what to do, Che. I was out for five days and almost bled my brains out, I can't keep using my powers. Too bad that I'm pretty certain that I _have_ to use them to not fall apart.” She sighed, tilting her head all the way back and gluing her eyes to the ceiling.

“Then use them. For now. If you have to then just keep doing it until we figure out what we should do in the long run.” Only this sentence, combined with another hand on her other knee, finally caused her to look directly at Chloe. She didn't notice how much closer she leaned while they were talking.

Max swallowed, squinting her eyes. “Wh- What? No, I'm not dragging you into this mess even more, telling you about it is bad enough. You don't need this kind of weight over your head, I have to do this alone.”  
The only thing she managed to cause with those words was an annoyed roll of Chloe's eyes. “Oh, for fuck's sake, Max, what the goddamn shit? What were you thinking, that I would say something like 'cool, what a story, what's for dinner'? I feel offended, babe.” Her tone shifted a little, gaining now a little teasing note.

Max blushed slightly. She didn't mean that, of course not, but words of explanations broke in her throat and didn't want to leave it. “I... I shou-”  
Thankfully, Chloe freed her from this torture, nipping her attempts to formulate sentences in the bud with one, meaningful squeeze of her knee.  
Too bad that she replaced that torture with another one, when her hand traveled towards her thigh, massaging it slowly. “ _We_ should. Let me help you, Max. Yeah, I didn't expect to hear something like that today and it's kinda freaky, but I'm not going to leave you alone with it. No matter what it is.”

Brunette swallowed again, trying to unclog her throat and focus on the conversation.  
Or practically anything besides the warmth building up in her. “Che, even if I wanted to endanger you like that I have no idea how you could possibly help me.” She mumbled, inadvertently glancing down on Chloe's lips, when she caught a glimpse of her tongue on them.

“Well, for starters...” Chloe purred, actually fucking purred, now inches away from Max's face. She could smell a faint scent of beer, see the glistening eyes right before her, feel the sudden weight that moved from the table onto her thighs, pushing her a little more into the couch. “I think you need to calm down a little.” Chloe continued in the same low voice, placing her hands on Max's sides right above her hips to keep her steady in one place. Brunette just sat there, overwhelmed by this kind of development. It was not at all what she expected to happen when she started her story. “So let me help you with that.”

The feeling of confident, hungry lips crushing into her own, made her regain control of her body instantly. Her surprised moan got lost somewhere in the throat of that woman sitting astride her thighs, letting her fully explore Max's mouth and familiarize again with her tongue. Brunette's hands found a way onto her girlfriend's hips, grabbing firmly at her pants and bringing her even closer with a sudden yank.  
Chloe, surprised by that, couldn't stop the small gasp from escaping her mouth when she felt an unexpected friction through her jeans, making her break off the kiss for a moment.

Max felt how slim thighs clenched harder around her own legs and, before she could respond to that in any way, their tongues were again intertwining together. One of the hands that was gripping her sides moved up, taking along the hem of her shirt for the ride, tracing a line up her ribs.

“I really don't feel very calmed down. You're awful at this.” Max huffed when they parted again, getting a sly, confident smirk as a response.  
Chloe, leaning like that towards her, with parted lips, heavy breath, a playful spark in her azure eyes, ruffled hair and smelling like a mixture of vanilla, beer and sweat was the sexiest thing that Max ever laid her eyes upon.  
And most definitely the sexiest thing she ever had on her lap.

“Oh?” Chloe lifted up her brow, assessing brunette with dreamy eyes, before leaning down and placing a brief, light kiss in the corner of her mouth, quickly moving onto her jaw and towards her neck. Max instinctively tilted her head to give her better access, moving one of her hands to bury it in the mostly blond hair. “Hmm, apparently you're right. I'm sorry.” She muttered in response to a quiet gasp she received, when her lips found a more sensitive spot. She made a note about it's existence in her head. “Should I stop in that case?” Without giving her a chance to say anything, Chloe bit lightly, questioningly near the spot, sucking at it.

The tight, almost painful grip she felt on her hair when Max clenched her hand into a fist, was telling her everything she needed to know.  
And, even if she had any more doubts, the sound that brunette made and the needy way in which her hips started to wriggle beneath her, dispersed any of them quickly.

She lifted herself up, reluctantly breaking the contact between her crotch and that squirming thigh. Her hands traveled under Max's shirt, exploring her ribs.  
But Chloe stopped abruptly, while kissing brunette's neck, when she felt that smaller body stiffening under her and how a trembling hand roughly squeezed her arm.  
Like way too roughly.

She carefully moved back, still panting, and again sat on Max's legs, focusing her eyes on her girlfriend's face in the search for an explanation, warning, any sign that she went too far, that it was a bad moment or-

Chloe closed her mouth when she didn't find anything obvious – Max was avoiding her gaze yet again, looking utterly uncomfortable. A completely opposite behavior than the one she showed moments ago.  
Furrowing her brow in concern, Chloe unfroze. “I... Shit, I'm sorry, I just...” She muttered after one long, antagonizing moment, only now thinking about taking her hands from under the shirt and slowly getting up to get off of brunette. “I shouldn't assume you... I mean, I'm so sorry, that was not fucking fine...”

A hand, that suddenly appeared on her thigh, gently forced her to sit down again and encouraged her to lift the embarrassed gaze from the floor. “It's not that!” Max protested quickly, finally finding her voice. “It's... It's fine, really.”  
“Then what's up?” Chloe looked at her attentively, not really knowing what to do with her hands in their current position, so she just placed then on top of brunette's fingers.

A small sigh escaped Max's throat. “I just... It's stupid, I'm sorry.”  
Chloe tilted her head, not really understanding what was going on right now. “Okay, I'm confused. What is it babe, what's wrong?”  
Another sigh. “I... I don't really like them... Showing, you know?” Max unconsciously lifted her hand, rubbing her arm. “I never... I mean, they're ugly and a constant reminder and-”

Chloe's brows lifted up high when she finally understood what the problem was. “Oh! Oh, you mean your scars.” She guessed, her voice so full of sudden relief that it wasn't anything more serious. “Wait, you really think they're ugly?”  
Max shoot her an uncertain, surprised glance. “And you don't? I mean, I don't care _that_ much, nobody sees them anyway. It's just that... I don't want you to think... Nobody should... Ugh!” She rolled her eyes, annoyed that she had problems with expressing her feelings about something so petty. Minutes ago she had barely any difficulties with talking about one of the worst and traumatic things that had ever happened to her, for fuck's sake.

“Hey.” Chloe gently cupped Max's cheek, tracing the barely noticeable scars on her skin with her thumb. She almost didn't feel them. “Come on, you really don't have anything to be ashamed of, Max. You're beautiful.”  
“You... You didn't see all of it.” Brunette muttered, shrinking as always under that deep, thoughtful, _hella_ overwhelming gaze.  
Everything about Chloe was overwhelming.

“I don't have to to know that you're outstanding, pretty and remarkable.” She smiled, leaning over to place a gentle, patient kiss on her lips. All of the hunger and urgency disappeared from her movements, just like that. “And don't you dare hesitate again when you're uncomfortable, for fuck's sake. Way to go to make me feel like some kind of molesting pervert, who doesn't respect boundaries.” She added a little jokingly, trying to disperse the tension that formed between them.

It apparently worked, seeing as the corners of Max's lips budged. “I'm sorry, I just... Really feel like this is dumb. I shot a guy in cold blood and I'm more concerned about something like this.”  
Chloe quickly glanced at brunette's neck, red and covered with scarce remains of her saliva on the side she earlier focused on, and marked with a big, round scar that traveled under her collar on the other. “It's not dumb at all. Here, let me show you something.” She mumbled, grabbing the hem of her own shirt.

Max squinted her eyes, carefully observing. “What are you-”  
Before she managed to ask, Chloe swiftly took off her shirt, throwing it somewhere behind her. Brunette closed her mouth in the middle of the sentence, too preoccupied with admiring the sight before her to be bothered by something so trivial as speaking right now. She saw her in her underwear before, sure, but she never stared, especially not from this close.

Chloe was thin – not sickly thin like Max but pleasantly, adequately thin. She wasn't beefy at all but she had some muscles. Her necklace was swinging between her breasts, slightly bumping on her dark bra, successfully catching brunette's eyes. “Here.” Chloe turned a little to show more of her side.

Max moved her gaze once again over her body, quickly noticing what she was supposed to see. “I know it's not even remotely comparable to yours and the way in which I got it is way more dull and boring but...” Chloe shrugged her shoulders, smiling with embarrassment.  
There was no response at first – Max examined the quite wide, long scar going through her ribs. It looked way older than the ones she had, like it was a few years old already.  
It also was way more faded than her own scars, but still quite noticeable.

“What happened?” Max asked quietly, looking up at Chloe's face. She found a hint of shame on it, which surprised her.  
Chloe let out a small, quiet chuckle. “Stupid story. I fell off a train.”  
Max blinked, lifting up her brow. “You what now?”

“When I was younger I used to hang out a lot near the tracks. There was a cool junkyard there. Anyway, I sometimes hopped on cargo trains, you know, jump into the moving cart, travel for a while, jump off somewhere. Well, one time I slightly miscalculated where I would land. You can only be so lucky, right?” She explained, snorting at that memory. Not that it changed anything, she still kept doing those kind of idiotic things later on, but she blames that on the company she kept.

When there was no response she took Max's hand and guided it onto her scar. Brunette carefully, hesitatingly caressed it, quickly noticing that it was really smooth. “My point is, what do you think about it?”  
Well, she didn't expect this kind of question, that's for sure. “I...” Max stopped studying Chloe's body, placing her hands lightly on her sides. Despite the fact, that she was sitting half naked for a while now, her skin was still warm, even more than Max's.  
“Not much, huh? Then you know that I'm going to think exactly the same about yours.” She leaned again, placing another one of those delicate kisses upon her, cupping brunette's face in her hands. Price's touching therapy at work, once again.

“I don't care about them and you really shouldn't either. It's in the past, already done and healed, you survived through them and that's important. I don't mind your freaky time powers either, by the way, if you were concerned about that too.”  
Max laughed softly. “Freaky? That's the word you insist on using, really?” To be fair, she never thought about her powers as something strange. Unheard of, unique, incomprehensible, alien, scary – but never _freaky_.  
“Hey, I saw you teleporting. It was a little... Freaky...shly unnerving.” Chloe shrugged, smiling and letting go of brunette's face.

“Do you... Really don't care?” Max shifted, making the springs in the couch contract a little more under their combined weight. Her legs weren't yet numb and, even if they were, she wouldn't really care about it right now.  
“I care that you care, but I don't mind at all. Besides, it's kind of amazing that I have a girlfriend who can control time, have selflessly dedicated her career to help people and have badass scars. Even if nobody would believe me if I told them that.” Despite the amused tone of her voice it was clear that Chloe was serious. “I know it's more complicated than that, but to be fair? I'm just happy that you're alive.” She added, moving her finger behind Max's shoulders and pulling her into a hug. “Truly fucking happy.” She mumbled into her ear, burrowing her head into her hair.

Brunette reciprocated the gesture. Chloe's body was seriously really hot, especially when compared to the cold piece of metal hanging from her neck. “I... I'm happy that you're alive, too.” Breaking off the hug, Max looked up, meeting with Chloe's eyes and finding in them exactly what she needed now.  
What she would ever need.

A small smile appeared on her face, when she stopped Chloe's hand from reaching for her shirt and putting it back on. In response to the lifted brow she received, Max cleared her throat, slowly turning red again. She tried to hold her gaze on Chloe's eyes but couldn't stop herself from shooting a quick glance towards her lips.

Chloe understood this time what Max wanted to do. She knew that kind of look, she gave it too many times herself when she was younger - but it was something new for brunette. “Hey, we don't have to if you don't want, just beca-” Max grabbed at her necklace, forcing Chloe to lower her head towards her and linking their mouths, giving her a much more interesting thing to do with her tongue than speaking.

“And we should stop interrupting each other like that. It's really not polite.” She chuckled softly, letting go of Max's lower lip from between her teeth after a while.  
Brunette rolled her eyes, silently noticing that Chloe once again paraphrased her Copy's words. She was doing it more and more frequently lately, and it was concerning.  
But she was way too flushed to worry about that now.

Max traced her own lips with her tongue before opening them to let out a simple, commanding sentence. “Just shut up then and get to work.”  
Chloe chuckled with surprise, slowly leaning towards the neck she already marked before. “I like this confident you.” She whispered, before she nibbled her ear and quickly moved right onto that sensitive area, immediately granted with a loud, startled moan.

Her hands again traveled down Max's sides, finding the hem of her shirt and carefully sliding her fingers between the skin and cloth. But this time Chloe noticeably slowed down there.  
Without rushing, she moved her fingers up, quickly finding the unnatural bulges on one side, and a border of her bandage on the other. Tracing the scars, Chloe adjusted accordingly her assault on Max's neck, leaving gentle, fleeting kisses on it, more distracting than anything else. She wanted to focus on brunette's reactions – the last thing she wanted to do was to make her feel bad again or do something she would find uncomfortable.

She brushed her hands against Max's bra, easily feeling the small bumps under the thin cloth. With premeditation she focused on her nipples, massaging them through the bra.  
The body wriggling under her, combined with shaky gasps, was definitely not screaming for her to stop this time.

Chloe reached again for the hem of Max's shirt, lifting it up and carefully removing the piece of cloth, trying not to strain the injured shoulder.  
Throwing the shirt away, she grabbed brunette's waist, guiding her to lie down on the couch while still kissing her tenderly.

Supporting herself on the hands she placed on both sides of Max's head, she lifted up her body to look at the woman that was now lying beneath her.

Despite the fact, that a part of her skin was covered by a bandage and she still had her bra on, Chloe was in a perfect position to admire Max's torso. Her right side looked fine and normal, even if she was a little too thin and some of her ribs were clearly showing.  
But her left side was almost fully covered in scars, resembling a strange map filled with rivers, mountains and canyons – every previous injury and burn carved into her skin for the rest of her life, reminding her every time she looked into the mirror before taking a bath.

Chloe saw the scars on Max's arm before, but they seemed like nothing compared to these... It was not surprising, that she was self conscious about them so much – still, Chloe was convinced that Max had nothing to be ashamed of.  
She understood but didn't support that insecurity.

She glanced at brunette's face, finding there a pair of big, waiting, uncertain blue eyes, highlighted by her flushed cheeks full of freckles and with her lips slightly parted.  
Chloe smiled, moving to kiss her fondly. “Like I said. Beautiful.” She whispered between kisses she placed on Max's jaw, quickly reaching her collarbone.

Instead of using her words, brunette let out a muffled groan when she felt a hand sliding under her bra and squeezing her breast.  
It was encouraging enough, especially when one of Max's thighs jerked upwards, leaving a pleasant ghost of touch between Chloe's legs for a while.

The necklace, that was hanging from her neck, slightly tickled brunette's skin, when Chloe moved her head, searching with her other hand for the clasps of the unnecessary bra and unhooking them swiftly.  
She glanced over the now naked breasts, before she took one of them in her mouth, scrapping her teeth across the erect nipple. Hand buried in her hair clenched and tried to bring her even closer than she already was.

Chloe's other hand traveled down her side, stopping on the button and zipper in her pants, taking care of them fairly quickly and without problems.

Did she already mention, that she felt overwhelmed by Chloe? Yes? Then there was no adequately strong word to describe how she was feeling now.

Max felt thin fingers sliding under the top of her underwear and let out a small, needy moan when they stopped on her pubic mound, slightly above her clit.  
The sudden cold she felt on her now abandoned breast was also not fine.

Gasping, she lifted her head up, just in time to welcome Chloe's hungry mouth once again.  
Almost blindly she threw her arms around the body that was towering above her, bringing her closer. Without really thinking about it, Max tried to move her hips and cause Chloe's fingers to brush against her, now uncomfortably starting to throb, core.

She almost felt the smirk that formed on Chloe's face when she removed her hand from her pants, using it instead to grab at her hips and keep her in place. She would gladly comment on that and express her disapproval, but she was being actively distracted by Chloe's other hand that was still playing with her breast.  
Not to mention, that any attempt at using her words was received like an open invitation for her girlfriend to explore even more deeply her mouth and tongue, stopping only to catch some breath or to bite on Max's lip.

Chloe moved her hand back at brunette's pants, tugging at them meaningfully and she instantly listened, lifting up her hips.  
She groaned loudly, not concerned anymore about suppressing herself, when her lips became abandoned again, unwillingly welcoming the sudden cold she felt in places, where Chloe's body was resting just a second ago.

A pair of strong arms quickly stripped her from the rest of her clothes, leaving her completely (besides the bandaged area) naked on the couch – and Max had to admit, she never felt so vulnerable before.  
And she was fine with it.

“Fuck, Chlo...” She gasped again, feeling swift fingers moving up her calves, along the back of her knees, all the way towards the inside of her thighs. She lifted her head up, just to meet with Chloe's enamored expression and eyes filled with so much lust, that it practically forced a gasp out of her lungs.  
Hands on her legs started moving more confidently and Max eagerly parted up her thighs even more, needing to feel the touch higher up.

But, to her frustration, Chloe kept touching her everywhere but there, making her only squirm more and more under her.  
She moaned when thin fingers, yet again, barely missed her crotch. “Fuck, Che, please...”

Blue, sly eyes, still filled with desire, looked at her expectantly. Chloe probably had similar problems with keeping up the teasing act, just like Max had with not grabbing her hand and putting it where it belonged right now.  
She lifted herself away from brunette's legs, slowly making her way towards the freckled face, tracing a road with her fingers along Max's stomach, ribs, stopping for a while longer on her breasts, collar bone and neck. “Hm?” Brunette felt a warm tongue under her ear. “Please what?” A quiet whisper reached her, right before a pair of strong hands gripped at her thighs, keeping her in place once more.

Max let out a frustrated moan, lifting her own hands up and reaching for the shoulders above her, without hesitation grasping at them.  
The grip on her skin tightened and she felt Chloe's teeth on her neck, marking her. She'll look great in the morning.

A loud purr that sounded against her skin made her want to whimper again.

With a quiet huff, Max retreated her hands, lifted herself up and grabbed Chloe's chin, forcing her to lock their eyes. “Please, just... Stop being a tease and touch me already.” She mumbled and kissed her pleadingly, needy, not waiting for any kind of verbal response.

It apparently worked - she noticed Chloe's hands moving and quickly felt one of them entangling in her hair, pulling her head back and forcing her to show more of her neck.  
But she was way more focused on the other hand, the one that finally traveled fully down and started to slowly rub her clit.

With a loud moan, she let Chloe push her onto her back again, feeling hungry lips once more sucking on her nipple. Without any conscious thought, Max moved her hips towards slender fingers, trying to get as much as she could from that new sensation before it disappeared again.

Thankfully, it didn't seem like they were going to back out again too quickly – she felt them moving between her folds, exploring and familiarizing themselves with this new area. A wet tongue traced around her areola and over her nipple, retreating only ever to make space for some teeth. “Che...” She groaned under her breath, grabbing at the couch to keep herself in place.

The tugging at her hair ceased, replaced by a palm now cupping at her other breast. She barely noticed when Chloe started making her way down, towards her stomach and mound – only when she felt a warm breath right above her clit she moaned and, without thinking, grabbed Chloe's head and pulled it towards the throbbing bundle of nerves.

“Fuck!” She whimpered loudly, feeling a warm, moving tongue around her clit and how the finger, that was so far only probing at her entrance, slipped into her carefully. The moan that Chloe let out in response to that noise vibrated through her body, making it really hard to stop herself from just grinding on Chloe's face.  
Even more when she felt how the finger inside her started moving, slowly picking up the pace, letting her adapt to the new sensation of having something stretching and filling her.

She tightened her grip on Chloe's hair, placing her other hand over the one that was currently playing with her nipple, intertwining their fingers together. “Che...” A quieter gasp escaped her mouth this time, abruptly muffled out by more uncontrolled moans, when Chloe started pounding quicker, swiftly adding another finger and never losing contact with Max's clit, stimulating it with her tongue and sucking slightly.  
She couldn't stop herself from grinding now, trying to dictate the speed. “Fuck, I... I'm...” She tried talking without letting go of the lip she bit on and between the moans. It wasn't easy, since she also had problems with thinking, not to mention even trying to express herself in a comprehensible way.

But Chloe wasn't deaf and could feel how close Max was, just by noticing how hard the walls around her fingers tightened with each thrust, when she buried herself as far as she could, before her knuckles limited her.  
Mewls, that kept reaching her ears, were also a good determinant.

When she thrusted again she curved her fingers, looking for that important, sensitive spot inside. The sudden yank on her hair and the short, surprised scream that filled the living room was like music to her ears, making the throbbing in her own pants even more uncomfortable and pressing.

Not long after that she heard a shaky moan and the body under her tensed visibly, after a short while collapsing onto the couch, completely limp and trembling.

Chloe slowly slided out of brunette after she was finished, wiping her smirking face on her forearm. Placing herself again astride on Max's lap, she drew a road on her body with her wet fingers, leaning over to kiss her tenderly, despite the fact, that the only thing she wanted to do was to devour her again like there was no tomorrow. “Hey.”

Max smiled weakly, blinking a couple of times and catching her breath. “Hey yourself.”  
“You know what? I have to confess something.” Chloe muttered, linking their foreheads together.  
Brunette closed her eyes, moving her hands towards the warm body above her and hooking her fingers on the straps of her bra. “Hm?”

“I... Think I have a crush on you.” Chloe admitted, trying to be completely serious and ignore the tickling touch near her chest.  
Max snorted quietly. “Oh, really? Crap.” She opened her eyes, reaching around and getting quickly rid of the bra. “That's too bad.”

“How so?” Chloe asked, lifting herself up to take off the unnecessary part of her attire, taking the opportunity to grind once or twice on the thigh that Max elevated specially for her to do just that.

Brunette, taking advantage of the situation, sat up, placing her hands on Chloe's sides. “I think I wanna stay friends.” She muttered, trying to hide her smile between the pair of breast that were hanging right in front of her eyes. She left a few, long kisses on the skin between them.  
“Eh, figures.” A small chuckle reached her ears and she felt fingers on her shoulders, encouraging her. “I finally found a girl from my dreams and she's not interested. Such cruel fate.” She muttered above Max's head, slowly starting to grind quicker on the offered thigh. The two last layers of clothing she had on were seriously upsetting her.

Brunette took one of the nipples into her mouth, sucking hard. The loud gasp she received, accompanied by even more furious grinding, created butterflies in her stomach. “I'm sorry. I'm just... Not into girls.” She mumbled, wasting no more time before sliding her hand between her own thigh and the crotch that kept rubbing it and grasping at it hardly.

A surprised, half moan half hiss sounded in the living room. “You could've fooled me.” Chloe managed to say, leaving red marks from her nails on Max's back when brunette started using her teeth more.

She didn't respond this time, instead just moving her hand higher and quickly unbuttoning Chloe's pants. Her lips were too busy.  
Without any more waiting, Max slided her hand into Chloe's underwear, not keen on teasing her. Especially not now, when she could feel how wet and ready she was.

“Shit!” Chloe growled, finally getting the much needed, unobstructed stimulation on her clit.  
Max adjusted her hand, trying to keep up with the tempo that Chloe was dictating by moving her hips. She pushed her palm further, happy that the jeans weren't limiting her movements by much. She had a feeling that if she stopped now to get rid of them, Chloe would devour her.  
And not in a good meaning.

She slided two fingers at once into her, shifting her legs in the same moment to open up Chloe's thighs even more, basically making her fall right onto her hand and crash the swollen, sensitive clit into her palm.  
“Fuck, Max!” Chloe moaned loudly, without hesitation impaling herself as hard as she could on brunette's fingers. Max had to let go of suddenly bouncing breasts and use her other arm to loop it around blonde's back to keep her roughly in place.  
It didn't take long before Chloe's body started trembling and the sounds she was letting out slowly died out, replaced by heavy breathing. Max felt the same thing as Chloe did a few minutes ago, when muscles around her fingers started contracting rhythmically.

She loosened her grip on her back, feeling as Chloe did the same with her hands on her neck. “You _really_ could've fooled me.” She mumbled softly with a tired voice, when she finally stopped grinding on Max's palm after a while. “Especially with that hand in my pants.”  
Brunette laughed again, slowly removing herself from Chloe. She leaned back a little to look at the woman sitting on her. “It was an honest accident, I swear.” She chuckled, extending her neck to place a kiss on Chloe's still panting mouth.

“Oh, an accident?” A hearty laugh that echoed around the room was one of those sounds that Max wanted to just hear over and over, for the rest of her life. “I know you're clumsy, but damn.”  
“Oh, piss off.” She gently hit Chloe's arm when she was getting off her and stood beside the couch, eying her admirably. “I'm not clumsy. I grew out of it.”

“Suuuuure, it's something you just 'grow out of'. And I'm the Queen of England.”  
“When did the Queen of England get so sexy?” Max's smile widened even more when she heard Chloe snorting quietly at that remark.

But her girlfriend's expression quickly became serious when something apparently alarming caught her eye. She extended her hand towards brunette. “Hey, get up. Carefully.”  
“What, why?” Max asked, a little confused at the sudden shift in the mood.  
“You're bleeding.” Chloe mumbled, pointing at the slowly reddening spot on the white bandage with her chin. With a quick glance down, Max confirmed that yes, she was actually starting to bleed.

“Shit...” She sighed, taking Chloe's hand. “I didn't even feel it.”  
“Come, let's take care of it.” Brunette, with some help, slowly got off the couch and they made their way into the bathroom. “Sorry, my fault.”  
Max smiled, clearly amused by blonde's last words. “Yeah, it is. But it was worth it.”

Chloe stopped near the mirror, kneeling in front of the cupboard, trying to find some new bandages in it. Max's house was lacking some basic stuff like half of the necessary tools that everyone should have or a proper number of paper towels, but she had a ton of medical supplies – including bandages, pills, ointments... Just in case.  
She could probably patch up a small army with all this stuff.  
But she wasn't clumsy and prone to injures, shut up.

“It was worth it, huh? Everything alright, besides that shoulder?” A mumbled out question sounded in the bathroom when Chloe opened her mouth, too consumed by her search mission to notice how Max sat down on the edge of her bath near them. “You know, more nosebleeds, headaches, anything? And, before you ask, no, I don't mean it in a 'I'm so damn good in bed that you'll pass out' way but in a 'you left the hospital earlier today, after waking up from a time travel induced coma, and any kind of exertion was probably not recommended for you' way.”

Max chuckled, tracing Chloe's sleeve tattoo with her eyes. She never really examined it closely. “Nah, no, I'm fine. I think. I just feel... Lightly? But nothing hurts, even my shoulder isn't sore.” She shrugged, trying to demonstrate.

Chloe finally found what she was looking for and got up, closing the cupboard with her knee. “Good. The last thing we need right now is another trip to the hospital right after leaving it. Remember that look the nurse gave us when she heard you won't be staying for observation?” She rolled her eyes, taking a step towards Max and gently touching her shoulder. “May I?”

Brunette nodded, letting her take care of changing it. “Don't remind me. She was probably just worried.” She looked away, gluing her eyes to the towels folded neatly on the shelf on the other side of the bathroom. She didn't want to look at her, yet another, new wound, at least not right now.

Chloe folded the dirty bandage, tossing it aside. “Yeah, _worried_. The whole time I've been there she kept insinuating that I should go home and wait there, maybe check in a week, because there was no point in me sitting near you for the whole time. She also kept sending me annoyed looks every time she saw me, I don't know what she was on about.” She was clearly annoyed just at the memory of that woman.

Max just smiled weakly, stopping herself from commenting. Her thoughts started to slowly drift away, making her almost completely ignore the touch on her wound when Chloe tried to gently clean it. Not that brunette needed it – she was feeling so distracted and light, that she really couldn't care less about her arm.

“You thought about what to do next?” A quiet question brought her back into reality for a while. Chloe had just finished putting on the new, clean bandage around her.  
Max furrowed her brow, still focused on the towels like it was a matter of life and death. She felt a little strange. “Besides the obvious thing that we have yet to deal with the police and those guys, who probably saw the same thing as you and God knows what they're going to do about it, if anything at all? Then no, not really. I have no frigging idea.” She admitted, sighing quietly. “Not that anyone would believe them anyway, but I'm still worried.”

A pair of warm lips brushed her cheek, finally making her turn her head and look right into Chloe's calm face. “Yeah... Whatever you mean by 'deal with them'. I really doubt that they'll be willing to talk, or even tolerate your presence. Not to mention that they still have to find that second dude.”  
Small smile formed on Max's expression when she looked down, having enough blood to blush a little under Chloe's intense gaze. “And that's yet another thing I have to worry about... And I really want to promise you that it won't end as badly as the alley... _Incident,_ but I'm not sure if I can do that.” She closed her eyes, exhaling slowly. She didn't feel so light anymore.  
More like suddenly tired and sleepy.

“You thought about what to do next?” A quiet, familiar question echoed again in the bathroom. Max lifted her gaze way too quickly, alarmed.  
“I... Wait, what?” She asked, not even trying to hide the confusion in her voice.

Now it was Chloe's turn to look surprised. “What 'what'? Stop daydreaming, babe. I'm talking about all this shit we're in, the police, those assholes, your time po-”  
Max shook her head violently, interrupting. “No, not that, of course I know what you're talking about. But you asked already, we briefly talked about it.” It was not physically possible for her brow to furrow any more.

“I... Don't recall that?” A glint of concern found her way back into Chloe's eyes. “Maxie, what's going on?”  
Brunette straightened her spine and leaned back a little. She opened her mouth once trying to say something but words failed her the first time she tried to use them. And the second.  
Only after the third try she managed to speak. “Don't tell me that...”  
Well, it seems like she didn't have much to say anyway.

Chloe gently squeezed her hand. “Max?”  
Brunette slowly shook her head. “I... I don't know.” She whispered, not yet noticing the small red droplet that started escaping from her nose. “I don't know.”

 

 _London Bridge did fall down_  
_My fair lady nearly drowned_  
_What is the reason to lock her up_  
_When already she had such rotten luck?_  
  
_Gutter Glitter – Switchblade Symphony_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took waaaaaay too long for me to update this. Like way, way too long.  
> Anyway, hope you still remember me and this story. Next chapter won't be so massive, I can guarantee that much.  
> Enjoy and take care, people. Until next time, hopefully.


	13. It sits there murdering time

_In a tiny little cave_  
_A dog is sleeping on his back_  
_Iron chains around his leg_  
_But he's purring loud enough to snap_  
_I see blood around his snout_  
_A smile that's bigger than his mouth_

 

**10.01.2018 – 5 days later**

Max rarely thought about the time she spent in Israel. She refused to tell any stories because they were either depressing or simply boring. If someone really wanted to hear about all that suffering and death she experienced, then they were free to research her photos and articles to satisfy their curiosity. She really didn't want to remind herself of all that horror – it was enough that it kept creeping into her dreams at the lowest points in her life.

She could clearly remember what she felt in that cold and cruel world, especially when all her 'firsts' happened.

During her first trip she was just so lost and scared. Despite all the preparations - the books she read, lectures she listened to, documentaries and articles she researched – she was still not ready for that kind of life. She knew how she was supposed to act, what to avoid and how, what was worth the risk and what not.  
But theory rarely corresponds with reality.

The first time Max saved someone's life on purpose was also the first time she saw someone dying. She didn't even know him – it was just some random guy that happened to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time.  
He was not armed or dangerous, he didn't ask to be shot.

Max remembered that she mostly felt shocked at first. Only moments later a wave of sadness and dolor flooded her mind, almost forcing her to at least try to prevent his death.

It wasn't a brutal kill – she barely saw any blood at all – and probably only thanks to that she managed to actually calm herself enough to focus and rewind. It didn't take much after that to save him, she only had to yell a few simple words. Anybody could do that much.

But she felt so proud of herself, so contented. Yeah, sure, she expected to feel something like that – she should be proud, she had every right to be, people can be satisfied with themselves and she wasn't an exception – but later she was actually ashamed of these feelings.

She focused more on herself than on the actual human she saved – on the fact that she had a power that could actually save people, that gave her so much control over others and made her almost some kind of a deity.

She was so preoccupied with her abilities that she failed to even memorize his face. He was the first person she ever saved consciously and she wouldn't be able to recognize him on the street.  
It was a crappy feeling.

She was supposed to save lives, for fuck's sake. That's why she even went there in the first place, right? That was her primary task. Not boosting her self-esteem or to feel a rush from manipulating other people's lives, from being  _better_ than them.

This kind of thinking was one of her biggest problems – she was approaching all this in a wrong way. She didn't own anything to the world, especially not something that grand. She was just a young, confused girl, with a nuclear bomb dropped on her head that she had to deal with all by herself.  
Teenagers shouldn't have to worry about manipulating time and space. Grades, stupid school drama, relationships... Hell, an unwanted pregnancy should be the height of their problems.  
And even then they usually had someone at their side to lean on and confide in.

The world owed Max, not the other way around.

Maybe, just maybe, if she treated her power and using it as a  _possibility_  and not a  _necessity_  then her life would be way, way different.  
Bereft of nightmares, traumatic experiences, scars and all of the other fun stuff she had to deal with on a daily basis.  
Probably also bereft of Chloe, let's be real here.

Max had a good reason to reminisce about her past. Her current situation reminded her a little of the first couple of nights she spent in an unfamiliar and unfriendly territory. During the day she already constantly worried about ambushes, and when the night came? At least she had a slim chance of reacting when she was awake. What was she supposed to do while sleeping?

She had so much trouble with that, with just sleeping back then. The fear and paranoia were so overwhelming, that she sometimes wondered if she would be able to ever sleep again.  
Ridiculous.

But lying here, in her own bed, illuminated by a faint light of blue LEDs hanged around the room a few weeks ago, with a clock ticking quietly and a warm arm resting on her stomach, she had very similar thoughts.  
They didn't seem so ridiculous right now.

Max's gaze was practically glued to the clock for the last hour. She, again, felt paranoid. But not about dying, not this time.  
Well, at least not in the traditional meaning of the word.

Since the day she let Chloe help her with the bandaging, Max rewound time 13 times.  
Only 7 out of these 13 were deliberate.

And she isn't counting the moments when she simply missed that the time was fucking up. It stopped being so obvious to her, especially when it was only a second or two – she always felt tired after using her powers, but with such small amounts rewound the feeling was so insignificant... It was easy to think that she was just constantly exhausted.  
She feared that she missed a lot of those mini-rewinds. She was paranoid that the time was breaking around her and she wasn't even noticing it.

This intense staring at the clock instead of sleeping was supposed to prevent that, somehow. She didn't want to sleep, she kept waking up feeling even more tired than she was before.  
And that fact only strengthened her suspicions that her powers were acting up when she was unconscious.

So she stared at that stupid clock. Not that she could do anything if another couple of seconds decided to rewind themselves – but she wanted to, at least, know.  
No, she  _needed_  to know. Have at least that kind of control over it.

Chloe shifted behind her back, letting out an incomprehensible collection of mumbles. She fell asleep a while ago, way before Max even went to bed. Brunette tried to slip carefully under the sheets, trying really hard not to wake her – God knew Chloe needed some sleep, even more than Max – but she was never good at being subtle and sneaky.

She didn't manage to fully bring her girlfriend back from her slumber, just enough to elicit a sleepy response from her – she groaned something quietly and threw her arm around Max, bringing her body closer to properly spoon it.  
She won't ever remember that in the morning. Like always.

It didn't take long for Max to feel way to warmed up from her body heat, but she didn't really try to escape the embrace yet. It was comforting, felt  _normal_.

Chloe fully moved in. Not that it changed anything – she was spending most of her free time here anyway and 'moving in' meant 'moving all of her necessary things from her home here': clothes, laptop, her own chargers,  _TV_  for some reason, even though Max offered to just buy a new one. It wasn't a problem.  
But, apparently, Chloe wasn't joking when she said that she felt sentiment towards that piece of electronic that she bought shortly after receiving her first paycheck.

Anyway, she was living with her now and they tried to carry on like a normal couple. With emphasis on  _'tried'_.

Max closed her eyes for a moment, taking a big breath. She wasn't feeling so well. Continuous mental and physical exhaustion will do that to a person.  
She carefully, reluctantly escaped Chloe's grasp and warm sheets and started making her way towards the bathroom. To say that the last few days were hard was a big understatement.

The fact that she was losing control over her powers was frightening in itself. She resumed her trainings and, after each one, she maybe felt a  _little_  better. The feeling of tiredness and strange uneasiness were still present after she was done for the day, but she was making progress.  
At least she believed in that, quietly hoping that it was really the truth.

It was just a shame that it was taking so goddamn long. At this pace she will break in one way or another before everything returns to normal.

Today was also more stressful than usually, since she finally had to drag her ass over to the precinct to talk about what happened in that alley – or, in other words, blatantly lie that she couldn't remember anything. Like she agreed with Chloe earlier. It was the safest bet.  
Too bad that she was a terrible liar when it came to talking with authorities.

She had to rewind her first conversation before it even properly began. It was obvious that she wasn't convincing anyone with her stuttering confessions and nervous glances. It wasn't going to fly, not with her worse than mediocre acting skills.

The second time she tried to slightly alter the truth, to tell that she managed to disarm him because he was distracted and not focused on her, but she quickly started stuttering again when the policeman asked her about those three unnecessary shots.  
Her improvisation skills could also use more work.

So, yet another conversation completely erased from this timeline, another 5 minutes of her life gone, just like that. Great.  
And to think that just a year ago she had problems with rewinding more than 60 seconds. It seemed almost absurd.

But Max was visibly more tired when she attempted to get through that conversation for the third time and Chloe noticed it instantly. It wasn't hard to guess what brunette did, especially when she started diverging from their original plan of just fully lying.

She didn't have to also rewind this one, thank God. Confessing to panicking mixed with her showing exhaustion, lack of sleep and with a voice seemingly balancing on a verge of crying, seemed to do the job quite nicely. Certainly better than her previous lies.

They went back home on foot, despite the fact that the precinct was basically on the other side of town – Max categorically refused to ride in any kind of vehicle for now. She really wasn't in a mood to be run over by a car, in case she rewound accidentally. Maybe in a couple of days, but right now she wasn't fully trusting herself.

But she was glad that it was over for now. They still haven't found the second guy so this whole situation was far from being truly over, but it was nearing the end.  
At least she hoped so.

Quietly closing the door behind her, Max moved to the mirror, not even bothering with lighting any lamps. Her eyes were already accustomed to the dark and she didn't have much problems with moving around the bathroom, especially not with that bright moon illuminating better half of it through the window.

_'Well, at least it's not a full moon.'_ She absentmindedly noticed when she briefly glanced at the shining ball on the sky.  
It was almost a full moon when they were attacked. She could remember the bright glow that hanged above them when they watched the fireworks, how it competed with yellow streetlights on their way back.

Max bit down on her lower lip, trying to calm herself, and shifted her gaze to her own reflection. She didn't notice anything out of the ordinary – she was still the same thin, fed up with everything woman she was a month ago. Dark circled, empty eyes that looked way older than the rest of her face, needed some kind of impulse to regain their missing radiance, but with Chloe around it wasn't usually a hard thing to achieve.  
She just looked much, much tired than just a month... Hell, even week ago.

A quiet clicking noise interrupted her examinations and Max clenched her fingers harder on the sink, bringing her head down and preparing herself for the imminent conversation. For the last few nights she was avoiding sleeping as much as she could and Chloe was always catching her red handed. Freaking  _always_ , like she had an internal alarm in her brain that kept going off when brunette was sneaking out of their bed.

At first Max kept saying that she had enough sleep after that hospital coma, but after Chloe menacingly said that she was going to forcefully drag her to the bed and  _make_  her sleep, she stopped using that joke.  
Aggravating her more wasn't a good idea.

But neither the words or the touch she was anticipating came. Only another clicking noise. And another.

Feeling uneasy, Max turned around to take a good look at the moving piece of wood. The door, seemingly on it's own, kept opening and closing, each time making that small, irritating noise.  
_'This is something new.'  
_ Well, at least she really can't complain about monotony in her life.

Max exhaled slowly, trying to focus and to control this new occurrence. Enough is enough, she wasn't going to let her powers act like a broken cassette player, not a chance.  
It was  _her_  power, for fuck's sake.

Trying to ignore the increasing anger she suddenly started to feel, Max looked at the door with an impatient glance, lifting her hand up. She found out today, during the interrogation, that she really didn't have to do that, it was completely redundant. She felt extremely stupid for not noticing it ever before, duh, for not even trying to rewind without this meaningless gesture.  
But she couldn't deny that it helped her focus.

The feeling of tiredness deepened even more, as well as the faint excitement that kept crawling in the back of her mind for a while now - like always when she was about to use her powers. Despite everything, there was still something freeing in letting the time go, only to bend it to her will moments later.

She calmly breathed out once again when she finally managed to stop the door from moving.  
Enough. She had seriously enough.

Her hand quietly hit the sink, just like her ass did when she took half a step back. It just couldn't continue like this, she had to do  _something_.  
But the only idea she had left, despite how much she hated it, was to try and talk with her Copy about this. She obviously knew much more about this powers, she just had to know something useful.

But it was like putting her bare hand into a bee hive, while hoping to acquire some honey – sure, she probably will learn something useful, there was a big chance of that.  
Just like there was a chance that it will end in a traumatic and highly unpleasant way. Like it fucking always did.

She was even more opposed to this idea since it wasn't even her own – Chloe pitched it in during one of their talks. The more they discussed possible solutions, the less likely they were to come up with a more reasonable one.  
And Chloe kept insisting on actually trying to talk with Copy. Even more so recently.

Max didn't even notice when she started to soullessly stare at her own feet. Only the familiar, clicking noise brought her back to the present, making her realize that she completely drifted away and lost all of her focus.

She clenched her teeth and squinted her eyes, looking through the darkness at the wooden door. While letting out an angry, frustrated groan, Max grabbed the nearest thing she had laying around and sent it flying through the room, right into the stupid, annoying, infuriating, maddening, aggra-

The glass cup filled with toothbrushes and toothpaste loudly crashed into the door, breaking on the impact and showering the floor with small shards, much to her surprise. She did that without really thinking and, for a moment, she was so sure that the cup was only going to get stuck in the air, moving a little forward and backward, over and over again.  
She would probably break down if that seriously happened.

Max slowly slided down onto the cold tiles, bringing her knees up to her chest and hiding her head between them. Her hands gripped tightly on her hair when she tried to isolate herself even more from the world. She wasn't ready to go back yet, she was way to shaken to do that now.  
At least it was quiet again.

When she heard another clicking noise after a few minutes, she didn't even bother to look up. Similarly, when a small sigh reached her ears and slow, careful steps sounded in the room, she did absolutely nothing to acknowledge them.

She also ignored the fingers placed on her shoulder and, moments later, let Chloe slip her hands behind her back and under her knees, allowing her to lift her up without any objections. The only thing she did was shifting a little to hide her face in the soft cloth that she also clenched her fists on.

She was tired.

\----------

**12.01.2018 – two days later**

“This is fucking ridiculous!” Max lifted up her gaze from her bowl full of cereal when those alarming words reached her.

“Chloe, you came back like ten seconds ago. The least you can do is take your shoes off before getting that worked up about something.” She muttered, sending her way a curious glance. Chloe was still standing near the front door, clenching her covered in snow beanie in her right hand. She was holding an armful of letters in her other one.  
One of them was opened and she was quickly reading it with increasing irritation.

When Max didn't get any kind of response she got up, leaving her spoon in the almost full bowl with a quiet clank. She wasn't really hungry anyway, like the last hour proved.

She made her way towards Chloe. But, instead of asking outright about the letter, the first thing she did was reaching out to her hair and gently brushing the remains of snow tangled in it. She should get her a proper hat next year, a simple beanie was definitely not suited for this kind of heavy weather. “So, what happened? Are they trying to enforce even more absurd recycling laws?” Max asked, trying to peer over Chloe's arm.  
An annoyed huff told her that it definitely wasn't the case this time. “I wish. Apparently someone wants a bite of your money and has absolutely no dignity and self worth.” Chloe said, visibly outraged, before handing her the letter and starting to take off her jacket.

Max carefully grabbed the piece of paper, now even more anxious than she was before. She quickly began reading it.  
The further she got, the higher her brows went – at the end they basically disappeared under her bangs. “Oh. Wow.”  
Chloe snorted quietly, leaving her shoes near the door and making her way towards the kitchen. “Yeah. Wow. Asshole.”

“Do you know if they finally caught that other guy?” Max asked, folding the letter and throwing it on the table. She considered going after Chloe to continue the talk but, in the end, decided just to sit on the chair again. Knowing her, she was going to move around the house for a while, making coffee, changing clothes, visiting the bathroom – it was easier to just shout across the living room to her.

Before she got an answer, Max had to wait out the sound of the electric kettle turning on. “Nah, you kidding? Nobody contacted me since we left the precinct.” Chloe said, busy with looking for her favorite mug in the cupboards.

“It's in the dishwasher.” Max hinted when she heard multiple cupboards opening, not even looking towards the kitchen. Her eyes were focused on the folded paper that magically made it's way towards her bowl.  
Good thing that she didn't have any appetite earlier, because she would certainly lose all of it by now.

Groaning quietly under her breath, she placed her elbows on the table and started rubbing her temples, closing her eyes. “I have enough. Seriously, can't even one thing be right for just a week?”

She heard a knock and looked gratefully at the hot cup of tea that Chloe placed in front of her. “Hey, don't be so dramatic. We are fine, aren't we?” Chloe smiled, giving brunette's arm a gentle squeeze before she moved to the bedroom to change her clothes. They didn't have any plans for the rest of the day and she wanted nothing more than to just get rid of her work shirt and jeans.  
Especially since her pants were unpleasantly wet at the bottom, because of all that snow she had to conquer to even get home.

“You have no idea how much I wish that it was enough.” Max mumbled, reaching out for the letter. There was no point in postponing the inevitable. “What are we going to do?”  
“What do you mean?” Chloe left the bedroom in the middle of taking her belt off. She managed to change her shirt into a far more comfortable rugged top she used to wear to sleep.  
That is, if she even bothered to wear anything. She had a tendency to sleep nude, much to Max's agitation. It still felt a little weird to just casually wake up next to Chloe's boobs resting near her face.

“Woman, you're a famous reporter, half of the world heard about you and your work, especially after your accident. It was kinda a big deal, I don't know if you realize that. One asshole that wants to sue you for 'exceeding the limits of necessary defence' for that absurd amount of money is not going to win in court with someone like you. Especially since he attacked you and it was his gun after all.”

The chair creaked under her when Max turned around to send Chloe a meaningful stare.  _'Is everything in this freaking house creaking?'_  “A  _war_  reporter, that's different. I'm not that famous – you were just obsessed with me, unlike the rest of the world. I'm sure they don't think my photos and articles are that spectacular.”

She smiled with amusement when Chloe rolled her eyes and tried to avert her gaze. “I wasn't obse-”  
“Besides...” She interrupted, receiving another meaningful eye roll for that. “Maybe that accident really was a 'big deal' but it happened months ago. Even if people remember it, then there is no way they can remember my name. Like really, can you remind me right now of the names of my friends that died in that car?” Max asked, quickly losing the faint smile that lingered on her face before.

But seeing how Chloe's expression suddenly softened, gaining that uncertain and tired look, brunette sighed and got up from her chair. “Sorry, I'm not trying to make you feel bad or to undermine your words. You're just looking at it in a wrong way. Even if we decide to go to the court and engage in this stupid waste of time, I doubt anyone would be interested in it.”

Chloe wasn't convinced. “Caulfield, are you seriously trying to say that you would rather pay him, just to avoid dealing with him?”  
“And why not?” Max shrugged, stopping in the middle of the room. “I don't care, don't want to be dragged more into this and seriously have no time to waste like that. There are more important matters that I must take care of, you know that.”

Chloe bit her tongue, like always noticing Max's use of the word 'I' instead of 'we'. It was probably just a habit, brunette had to deal with this on her own for a long time, but she couldn't help but feel bothered by it. She knew she shouldn't take it so personally but...  
And the fact that Max still kept acting like she was all alone was definitely not making Chloe feel any better. How many times she caught her girlfriend avoiding sleep? Not eating? Hiding the moments when she rewound time?  
Someone should really explain to her what 'our' meant and how it was different from 'mine'.

It was hard not to feel... Redundant. Unappreciated.  _Helpless_.  
Chloe hated feeling helpless. Years ago she made a promise to never be so weak, so powerless again. She was not going to just stand and watch how the people she loved are getting hurt.  
Figuratively or literally.

She exhaled slowly, carefully thinking about her next words. She didn't want to fight with Max, they really didn't need that right now, and this conversation dangerously quickly started transforming into a quarrel. “I'm not sure if paying him money to skip all this is the best course of action. He tried to kill us and you want to agree that he was the victim here? Besides, you want more of this kind of fuckheads in your life? Because there will be more, as soon as they hear that you actually paid him.” She finally muttered, crossing her arms on her chest. Her eyes were full of... Disappointment? Anger?

Max slightly tilted her head, furrowing her brow. “No, I'm not really keen on this idea either, but I just want to get rid of him. I'm not a fighter like you, Chloe. I just want it all to end. As soon as possible. What's one idiot compared to the fact that the universe is fucking up around me?” She mumbled, completely devoid of any will to continue this discussion. The irritation she started feeling was slowly turning into something even less pleasant.  
And it was worrying her.

An idea popped in her mind - to rewind and grab the letter before Chloe gets home. It would be so easy, they could avoid all of this stupid bickering...  
She quickly pushed it away. She knew herself well enough to know that she would 'forget' to mention the existence of this letter. And if Chloe ever found out about it...  
Not to even mention how Max was really fed up with lying. Their relationship shouldn't be based on lies.

“You're not-” Chloe bit her tongue once again, killing the words that tried to escape her throat. She sighed, trying to calm down and keep herself from raising her voice, while still finding a way to express her thoughts.

And that, especially in her current state, angered Max even more. “What? Come on, what? Talk, I want to know what were you about to say.”

Chloe squinted her eyes, visibly taken aback by brunette's words. “I wanted to tell you that you're not thinking clearly. You're acting like a tired idiot right now, sorry.”

An irritated huff and raised brows were exactly the reaction that Chloe anticipated from Max.  
But, what she didn't foresee, were the words that came with those gestures. “Oh, of course, how could I forgot that you always know better. What is my opinion anyway, right?”

Chloe locked her eyes with Max's, quickly feeling how she was starting to lose her own temper. She was also tired – she just got here from work, after hours spent on focusing and carefully inking people.  
Also, when was the last time she had a full night's sleep? It was hard to rest when brunette kept whining and trembling beside her.  
And even harder when she wasn't near her, for fuck's sake. Sleeping alone became something she started to actually dread. “What the fuck are you talking about now?”

Chloe had to lean back a little to avoid the hands that Max threw unexpectedly in the air right in front of her face. “You are  _always_  doing it! Since you forced your way into my life these few months ago.” Brunette growled at her, taking a step back when she realized how close they started to get.

She did notice how Chloe's posture faltered significantly after hearing her words and it made her feel even worse.  
But not bad enough to shut up, apparently. Well, it was to late for that anyway. “You always have to know better! Fuck, you basically took me from my home ten minutes after not talking to me for ten years!  _YEARS!_  Who does that?! The last thing I needed back then was someone's company, I don't think you noticed how many times I just hid from you in your own fucking house!” She forced out of her throat quickly, stopping only once midway to take another breath. Despite her agitation, her eyes were still conveying mostly how tired and resigned she felt.

Chloe tried really hard to ignore the phantom skewer that seemed to suddenly pierce her back. “Max, I only wan-”  
“You apparently know better what I need, want, what would be the best for me.” Brunette continued, completely ignoring the fact that Chloe tried to speak up. It was easier to just keep talking, let her bitterness flow out, than to stop and spare them both this shit.

Maybe if not for the fact that she just felt so tired, so on edge for the past couple of days, she wouldn't get so angry about Chloe's attempts to change her mind. Deep down inside she knew that her girlfriend was right.  
Even if she couldn't admit it right now.

But she was just so, so tired. Why Chloe won't get that, won't just leave her alone, let her give up at last? “What I should do, say, think. 'Go and lie to the police, it's the best solution', 'try talking with the person,  _a being_ , whose mere presence fills you with utter terror, there is no need to think about any other solution that maybe isn't causing you to shit your pants', 'fight with some random asshole in court, in the worst case scenario actually damaging your reputation for real, it doesn't matter how it will affect you life'. Go big or go home, huh?” Max huffed once more, while she still had courage to do so, emphasizing her words. This stupid bravery that came with the anger was slowly sipping out of her, for better or worse.

“You've got to be shitting me.” Chloe growled, finally getting mad. Max wasn't the only person who's been on edge recently. “The only thing I do is jumping and dancing around you like a fucking nanny. I'm fucking constantly worried that you're not eating, sleeping, or even bloody wanting to exist!” She clenched her fingers harder, probably leaving marks on her arms. It hurt, but she couldn't care less now about it.

A dull crack sounded in the room when Max accidentally hit the chair with her elbow. She managed to move back quite a distance during her tirade. “And that's exactly the problem! You didn't even consider that I don't want you to 'jump and dance around me like a fucking nanny'?! It's annoying enough that you treat me like I'm about to break after any harsher words. I am capable of dealing with shit on my own sometimes, thank you very much!” Her words got even louder and she knew she won't be able to keep this for much longer. She regretted every syllable as soon as she spewed it out, but she just couldn't stop herself.

“Oh, are you now? Really? You call sitting in the bathroom in the middle of the night, with broken glass all around you and barely holding back the tears 'dealing with shit'?! Fuck, that's an interesting definition.” Chloe was still not as loud as Max, but she wasn't far from yelling either. “But you really want me to stay the shit out of this? You want to deal with everything alone, you idiot? Sure! Okay then!” She threw her arms in the air, in a gesture that clearly said 'not my problem' and took a few steps forward. “Yes, fine! Then do whatever you want, since you're so self-sufficient and you don't need any help! I'm not going to stand in your way. Come on, someone like me? Some kind of bossy, stupid bitch that can't even do one thing right? I shouldn't be telling  _you_ , the perfectly fine and fulfilled person, what to do, of course not.” She growled and, much to Max's surprise, turned to the right, towards the hangers, where her still wet jacket was hanging.

Brunette's sudden vexation was perfectly masked by the remorse and false anger that still lingered in her voice. “Oh, fuck off with that. That's not-”  
Chloe didn't want to listen to her anymore. She heard enough. “No, fuck you, Maxine Caulfield. I'm just trying to fucking help and you are not making that easy with all that hiding in the corners, lying 'everything is fine', insisting to do everything alone... Fuck, how many times we already talked about this shit? For how long am I trying to get into that dense head of yours, just to make you believe tha- No, fuck that. I've had enough Caulfield, truly enough.” She grabbed her jacket and threw it over her shoulders, completely not bothered by the fact that she was partially dressed in her pajamas. Good thing she didn't have time to take off her jeans. “If you really don't want me here then I'm going to fuck off. Your wish is granted.”

Max's expression softened a little when she realized that Chloe was seriously going to just leave her like that. “Come on, don't be r-”  
“No, no 'come on'. If can't get to you, well, that's too bad. Do whatever the fuck you want to do. I'm not going to distract your majesty with my presence.” Chloe was not looking at her – she stood with her face turned to the doors, pretending to search for something in her pockets. That way she could avoid experiencing the increasing panic and regret that surely started appearing on brunette's face, at least based by how much her voice shifted.  
Chloe was running. Again.  _'Like a coward.'_

“I need a smoke.” She muttered, before quickly grabbing the door handle and stepping outside.  
“Chloe, ple-” A loud slam forced the rest of her words back into her mouth, efficiently shutting her up.  
Max closed her eyes, trying to calm down and suppress the urge to cry.

She didn't mean it.  
She didn't mean any of it, not really.

She was grateful for everything that Chloe did for her. Literally everything, there wasn't even one serious thing that she was mad for or regretted that it happened. If not for her, Max would probably be right now either lying in some coffin or spending her time strapped to a bed in a comfy, bright, white room without windows.  
There was no way she could get through that part of her life alone, she was sure of it.

“Fuck!” She growled suddenly, weakly hitting her hand on the table and opening her eyes. Chloe deserved more, much more from life and Max. She didn't need another person who rejects her, leaves her.  
A quiet whimper she let out only made her need to cry even more pressing. She never wanted to reject Chloe, she was the most important person in her life.

She never wanted to hurt her.

Then why she felt such an urge to attack her like that just a minute ago? When she didn't even mean it? She couldn't seriously believe that this kind of topic can end happily.  
And she really couldn't just blame it on her mood and tiredness.

She inhaled slowly, accidentally catching the still warm cup of tea with the corner of her eye.  
Biting on her lip to silence another whimper, Max straightened her back.  
The idea of rewinding popped in her head again, this time even more tempting and sensible, at least for her.  
She actually thought about doing it.

This plan wasn't fair at all – Chloe didn't deserve something like this, for her memories to be... Erased like that. She wasn't some old policeman that Max had to lie to for a couple of minutes.  
She was Chloe,  _her_  Chloe. They had a fight and, if there was anything that she shouldn't ever rewind, then it was exactly this kind of thing.  
Using her powers now would be like taking away from Chloe something important, something meaningful – it's not what you do to someone you supposedly love.  
Especially since Max will remember all this.

No, it was not fair at all.  
And brunette shouldn't pretend that she was doing it only for Chloe's wellbeing and peace of mind. It was way more egoistical than that.  
Max really didn't want to be left alone again. She needed her, more than she needed food, sleep or air.

Brunette knew that she was making a big mistake when she observed how the blurry phantom thrashed around the living room at an inhuman speed. It was a childish way to solve this problem, a coward's way out.  
Well, nobody can be strong all the time and only do the right things.

Nobody is perfect.

Max threw out her food, quickly hiding in the bedroom before Chloe once again came back from work. She slipped under the sheets, grabbing the second pillow and pretending she was sleeping.  
She didn't forget to grab the damn letter on her way.

Neither one of them deserved what she just did.

But she was just so tired.

\----------

**18.01.2018 – six days later**

Turns out, Chloe was right.  
It was frustrating for Max. Not the fact that she was wrong - she was used to that – but the thought that she now had to deal with this kind of obstacle.

Of course, Chloe had no idea that she predicted all of this. It was not meant for her to remember her own words, as Max decided. “Your reputation precedes you, it seems.” She mumbled, watching the TV. Her elbows were resting on the backrest of the couch that Max was occupying for the last half an hour.

“What reputation?” Brunette sighed, also too focused on the screen to peer her eyes away from it. “As a terrible loser and poor reporter with PTSD that shot a guy in an alley?”

During their second conversation, Max almost instantly agreed with Chloe to go to the court and fight with the guy.  
And she really regretted that.

Chloe playfully smacked her arm. “Hey, come on, that's not true. The first thing they talked about was your work... And how did they call you? 'Maxine Caulfield, the famous war reporter, whose marvelous and touching photos shocked the entire world'. You should engrave that on your tombstone.” She chuckled, feeling really proud of her girlfriend. “But, that doesn't change the fact that if I knew that there will be cameras when we get out of the court, I would dress in something better. Who even tipped them? The trial is not even due for a few weeks and there was already quite a commotion outside.”

Max rolled her eyes. She was not so optimistic about all this. “I'm more concerned about what they're going to tell about us when they hear what exactly happened in that alley.” She admitted, grabbing the remote and changing the station. She had enough news for one day.

A quiet, rustling sound diverted her attention when Chloe suddenly straightened up and clenched the backrest harder. Before she could ask, her girlfriend jumped above it and landed on the couch near her with a loud thump.  
She once again rolled her eyes, this time kind of amused and not surprised at all. Living with Chloe was sometimes like living with a ten year old kid, seriously.

“How would they? You think he is going to talk about your freaky powers? I really doubt that he saw anything, he was way too occupied with me at that moment.” Chloe muttered, making herself more comfortable.  
Which basically meant that she laid on her side with her head on Max's lap. Somehow, during that, she even managed to snag the remote from her hands. “Also, they would think he is crazy.”

“I don't know.” Brunette shrugged, while her hand found the way onto the warm body that invaded her personal space. “But I agree, nobody would take him seriously if he suddenly started talking about magic teleporting or something equally absurd.”  
“Then why are you worrying?” Chloe slightly moved her head to take a look at the face that hanged above her, jumping through the channels without any real purpose.  
She couldn't read too much from it. “I just really don't like to share my personal life with everyone. Especially not with the entire world.” Max just mumbled, with a strange tone that caused Chloe to completely abandon the TV and fully focus on her girlfriend.

A small, a little amused and curious smile appeared on her face. “Maxine Caulfield, are you worried that the world is going to hear about our forbidden love?” She asked jokingly.  
The red tint that appeared on Max's cheeks was not something she expected to see. “Oh my God, you seriously are worried about that. Really, you're ashamed of me?”

Max quickly shook her head. “Of course not. I just... It could be taken wrongly. It could affect how people look at my work, what they think about it.”  
She felt another gentle smack, this time aimed at her chin. It forced her to finally look down, to meet with that blue, laughing eyes. “Okay, babe, that's ridiculous. It's actually the most ridiculous worry you could have right now, besides being pregnant.” Chloe chuckled, apparently not taking her seriously at all.

Max didn't even thought about getting mad at this kind of reaction. “The fact that we were making out was the main reason why they even attacked us.” She pointed out, lazily dragging her fingers across Chloe's shirt, once again familiarizing herself with her ribs.  
“And that paints him in a negative light, not us. Intolerant fuck. It's 2018, you can sleep with another woman if you want to. If anything, you will gain mad points for being homo. That's just the world we live in.” Yet another playful smack, followed by Chloe shifting her position to invade even more of Max's private space.  
She didn't mind it at all.

“I'm not so sure that my family shares your point of view.” She furrowed her brow, glancing meaningfully at her cell that she placed earlier on the table. She was expecting it to ring at any moment, but still wasn't sure if she was going to answer it.  
Her parents didn't even know she was in a hospital recently. They shouldn't learn about something like that from the TV, it was fucked up.

Chloe's smile faltered a little. “Ah, that's also why you're worried. You still haven't called them?”  
Max shook her head before answering. “No. Grandma will disown me if she hears that you are my girlfriend.”  
“I can just visualize how she curses you in her satanic basement.” Chloe muttered, only half jokingly. Personally, she would really appreciate if she didn't have to see her ever again. “Don't fret it. Your mom will want to kill me for being a 'bad influence' on you, just like she worried. I can see the headlines now: 'Chloe Price turned my poor daughter into a lesbian – a tragic story of a distraught mother'.” She theatrically said, lifting her hands up and almost hitting Max in the nose.

“Che...” Brunette couldn't help but smile a little. However silly Chloe sometimes acted, Max actually appreciated her attempts at dispersing the gloomy mood.  
Especially since it usually worked really well.

Chloe smiled and lifted herself up a little, placing a quick kiss on brunette's jaw. “Chill out, Max. You really shouldn't worry, nothing extremely bad will come out of this, I'm sure. And it's free publicity!” She pointed out, shifting once more to be able to bury her face in the warm stomach. Her arms also lopped around Max's back, trying to bring her closer.  
Well, seems like she wasn't going to move anywhere for a while.

“Okay, sure. Nothing extremely bad.” Brunette repeated, giving up. “Fine. I believe your clingy ass.”  
She couldn't see Chloe's smile but was sure it didn't go anywhere. “That's my girl.”

Max closed her eyes and leaned even more on the backseat. In moments like this it was easy to suppress the guilt she felt since she rewound one of the most important talks they ever had.  
Forgetting about all her...  _Their_ problems was also not problematic at all right now.

But, still.

She was so fucking tired.

\----------

**22.01.2018 – four days later**

Patience was never something she had a lot of.  
While she sat in this illuminated, huge corridor, on those old chairs that could seriously benefit from some kind of renovation, her mind wandered.  
Sometimes in such idiotic directions that she almost felt ashamed for herself.  
But this time she would gladly accept some of those stupid, lighthearted thoughts. She really missed them.

With a quiet sigh she peeled her back from the chair and placed her elbows on her parted knees. It was such an unwomanly pose but she didn't really care, she was alone in here anyway.  
She glanced at the clock, silently noting that she was existing here for at least half an hour already. Thirty minutes that she could spend on something way more productive than sitting and waiting.

How many fucking questions they were asking Max? They wanted her life story or something?  
“Fucking courts.” She muttered quietly, feeling the vibrations in her pocket at the same exact moment. She quickly reached for her phone and glanced at it. The screen informed her of an incoming call from an unknown caller.

With a martyred groan, Chloe dismissed it. Since she appeared on the news she started getting those kind of calls. At first she even answered them – but after hearing from the third reporter that wanted to get some detail on the case, she stopped doing that. Apparently her number was far more easily obtainable than Max's.

This one particular caller was trying to reach her for three days now and Chloe managed to memorize the number already. Whoever it was, he was really not keen on writing a simple message, despite his persistence.  
She should just block it, she knew that. But she couldn't help but wonder about this reporter – his stubbornness was really remarkable.  
But she wasn't actually going to answer his calls to satisfy her curiosity. There was no point in doing so.

Her head shoot up when she heard the doors beside her opening. “Fucking finally.” She muttered upon seeing Max and slided her cell back into her pocket. “I was seriously wondering if they were asking about your whole life story.”

Brunette shook her head and took her jacket from Chloe, who was taking care of it when she was busy. “No, thankfully. I would probably die if I had to talk about the 'tree incident' ever again.”  
“You mean the one when you got stuck in a tree in the park?” Chloe laughed quietly, clearly remembering the whole situation. Of course it was about that, they didn't have any other 'tree incidents' – and the eight years old version of Max panicked so much that it was really hard to forget about it. “Your father laughed so hard when he noticed in what position you hanged from the branch.”  
“Don't remind me, please.” Brunette groaned, not losing the faint smile that appeared on her face moments ago. “They just wanted more information for the official files.”

Chloe just nodded. She didn't need any more explanation, not right now. They can talk about it at home, later. “Do you think we can also ride back?” She asked instead, waiting for her to put on her scarf. Max agreed on using the car today and Chloe took that as a good sign. Maybe she actually was developing her powers and talking with Copy could be avoided altogether.  
The look she got as a response was hard to decipher. “Yeah... Yeah, I think it will be fine.” Max added after a couple of seconds.

Chloe still wasn't exactly sure how brunette's powers worked – she knew what was the effect of using them, that much was obvious. But she wasn't familiar with what happened to Max while she was rewinding time.  
She tried to explain it, but it wasn't an easy task. Chloe just understood that it was really tiresome, required a high level of focus and sometimes intensified her other emotions.

That was, when Max wanted to use her powers. It was different when they activated on their own.  
At least that what she was told.  
So she had no real choice, other than to trust brunette's words when she concluded that she will be fine.

Chloe opened the huge front doors, squinting her eyes when the winter sun blinded her for a second. The light bulbs that accompanied her for the last thirty minutes definitely weren't that bright.

She heard a groan coming from Max and quickly noticed what caused it. Yeah, of course that there would be a group of people just waiting here. She shouldn't really expect anything different. “Fuck, that's a lot of press today. Seriously, who keeps tipping them off? It's like you're some kind of a fucking movie star.” Chloe muttered quietly towards Max, shifting in such a way that she partially hid her with her own body from all of the attention she was about to receive in a moment. She didn't really need that, she wasn't some kind of a scared kid. She experienced far worse things than some random people who were looking for a new sensation.  
But that didn't stop Chloe from sending an angry stare to everyone who got too close or asked an especially stupid question.

“I'm just thankful that they aren't camping in front of our house. Let's go.” Max mumbled, letting Chloe march in front of her.  
They swiftly made their way to the car and brunette didn't waste any time getting in it. But Chloe stopped for a while before copying her moves.  
The amount of people was really staggering and she wasted a couple of seconds to just glance around, looking for an explanation for it.

She thought she saw someone familiar while they were going down the stairs.  
Someone, whose presence would certainly explain the crowd that gathered today.  
Someone she really had no desire to ever see again, even in a stupid commercial.  
Chloe locked her blue eyes with hazel ones for a moment too long.

She cursed under her breath, quickly getting into the car and slamming it's doors way too forcefully.  
Max glanced at her quizzically but Chloe just shook her head, too busy with putting her keys in the ignition to answer.

\----------

She kind of liked to watch when Max used her powers.  
It was certainly a strange thing to witness. She seriously looked like she was just teleporting around the living room.  
The fact that she was able to do practically anything with Chloe was also... Horrifying.... Or hot. Or both? She didn't decide yet what her opinion on that was.

Max sometimes moved her around – she did it rarely, because it was apparently way to exhausting. She explained that when she tried to move her own body, she felt like she was floundering in the mud – when she tried to move someone with her it was ten times worse. And it only worked when she stopped time completely, which also required a scary amount of energy.  
Chloe was a little glad for that. It was a disorienting, confusing feeling, when everything around her moved completely, even if only for a fraction of a yard.

However, watching Max was interesting. Like she was observing a superhero. Or a deity.  
But today she would gladly leave brunette alone with her training. From her perspective it only lasted for a minute anyway – for Max it took usually an hour. She wasn't really needed here, she just acted as a 'moral support', how brunette put it. Looking at her was, apparently, comforting.

She swallowed, silently trying to focus on her girlfriend. The only other things she could do were way too extreme, at least for now – trying to fight with her was pointless, but what about pushing her from the balcony? Or shooting at her?

Not that she wanted to, but it would be certainly an interesting experiment. And they should seriously try the first one – maybe making Max jump from the 7th floor was a bit too much, but from a short tree? Just to test it?

“Break. I need a break.” Max muttered suddenly, forcing Chloe to focus on the present. “Or I'm actually done. I'm tired.” She added after a while, breathing heavily through her mouth.  
Chloe nodded. Not like she had anything to say in the matter. “Are you feeling alright?” She asked instead, watching her as she made her way towards the bathroom. Nosebleeds were a frequent occurrence and that bothered and worried Chloe. Especially since Max also fainted the last time.

“As always.” Brunette sent her a sad smile before she disappeared behind the door. She left it opened and Chloe understood the invitation.  
She lifted her ass from the couch and moved towards the door frame.  
She placed her hand on it, shifting her weight a little, and looked at Max's back, now bended over the sink.

The sound of running cold water broke the silence. Usually Chloe would put on some music, but after Max pointed out to her that, during her trainings, she will hear a small part of the song, over and over again, she stopped doing that altogether. She felt dumb for never even thinking about it.

“So...” Max started while reaching for a towel, once again bringing Chloe back to reality. “How are you feeling?”  
“Huh?” Chloe lifted her brow, unhooking her gaze from the now dead point, where Max's back was just a second ago. “Me? I'm fine. I'm not the one manipulating time.” She forced a smile to appear on her face.

A quiet huff clearly showed her that she wasn't getting off the hook so easily. “I didn't know that this was the only reason why someone could feel down.” She commented, with just a hint of amusement in her voice. Despite her exhaustion, Max usually felt better after training for a while, Chloe noticed.

“Maybe not the only one, but certainly the most justified.” A quiet, even if not 100% genuine chuckle emphasized her words, while she crossed her arms on her chest, now resting with her shoulder on the door frame. Her current smug posture was supposed to conceal her actual thoughts that kept annoyingly returning to that one, specific event from today.  
Especially since she knew that it was easy to distract Max with playfulness.  
Even if she felt bad for using something like that just to divert her attention.

But Max knew her well enough to still not believe her fully right now. “Okay, but seriously – what's up?” She once more expressed her concern, sending Chloe a worrying look before she hid her wet face in a towel.

Her face became a little more pale.  _'What's up? What's fucking up? Rachel. That's what's up. I saw Rachel.'  
_ But the words that escaped her mouth were far different from the ones, that plagued her mind just a second ago. She really couldn't help it. “Nothing, why?” She lied smoothly, without stuttering. It sounded truthfully, even to her own ears.

But she wanted to smack herself in the face for that. Hard.

“You seem... Pensive. Or worried. One of the reporters shouted something especially stupid or what?” Max kept guessing, taking of her shirt in the meantime. A white bandage was still present on her shoulder. Her wound was healing so, so slowly, abnormally even. Chloe suspected that it was linked somehow with her constant exhaustion and recent problems with powers.  
Duh,  _'suspected'_. She  _knew_  that it was related. It was a no-brainer.   
But she didn't hear Max complaining about that. Not even once.

“I would've kicked his ass if he did.” Ah, a classic move from Chloe Price – trying to reroute the conversation by using jokes.  
The urge to punch herself intensified.

She shouldn't lie. Not to the love of her life.  
Max didn't lie to her, not since she revealed her biggest secret. It was not fair for Chloe to hold back information like that.

She clenched her teeth when Max turned around to take care of her wound in front of the mirror.  _Why_  was she even lying about that? She didn't do anything wrong, fuck, she didn't even talk with Rachel. They just looked at each other, that's all.  
So why she felt so... Guilty? Anxious? So eager to hide this event from Max?

It's not that she wanted to keep her from worrying. Yeah, she had so much on her plate already, she didn't need Rachel on it. But come on, the presence of Chloe's ex-girlfriend was not a problem at all. It was just a coincidence, she was probably just having a photo shoot nearby. That's all.  
_'Yeah, 'coincidence' my ass.'_

Max chuckled quietly, too busy with putting some kind of ointment on her shoulder to look at Chloe. The mirror was placed in such a way that she couldn't really see her reflection in it right now. “I can actually imagine you doing it. Maybe that would make them piss off for a while.”  
“I can try that if you want to.” Chloe spread her arms to stress her words. It didn't matter that Max couldn't really see it.  
“No, that's not necessary. At least not for now.” Brunette washed her hands, this time under warm water. In the meantime, Chloe moved closer to her, offering her help with applying a new bandage.

“So everything is really alright?” Max asked once more when they finished, reaching for her shirt.  
_'No, nothing is alright, for some reason. I saw Rachel. Rachel fucking Amber, of all the people.'_  
Chloe stopped her from grabbing her clothes by wrapping her arms around her, right under her chest. She pressed her body tightly against Max's bare back. “Now yes.” She mumbled, bringing her head down to place a suggestive kiss on the neck that was eagerly presented to her.  
Jesus Christ, she felt bad for doing something like that just to distract her girlfriend.

Max purred quietly and sent a tired but content and full of love glance towards Chloe's reflection in the mirror.

And, just like that,  _now_  she felt really bad.

“Okay... But I'm too tired for this now.” Max admitted unwillingly, bringing one of her hands to Chloe's cheek and shifting a little. That way she had no problems with placing a long, tender kiss on her lips.  
“Should I carry you to the bed? In a completely platonic and innocent way, of course.” Chloe proposed, smirking, but obediently let her go of her.

“No, I'm not sleepy... And I already told you what do I think about you being innocent.” A chuckle left Max's mouth and she didn't even try to stop her eyes from rolling.  
She nodded at Chloe, urging her to go back into the living room. “But I would gladly sit for a while, maybe watch something.” She added, flicking the lights off behind them.

This seemed familiar – it reminded Chloe of their first couple of weeks, when they hanged out in her living room, in front of the TV, watching some stupid movies.  
But since they started meeting here, they really didn't have much opportunity to do so. And even after Chloe brought her TV here, they didn't have time to watch shit.  
And Max was never in the mood for it, not surprisingly.

So when she finally wanted to have a movie night then Chloe was going to give her a movie night, no matter what. Screw Rachel.  
She really missed Max's cheerful side.

“You got it. Pick something, I will go make popcorn.” She kissed her once again before she let her settle comfortably on the couch. “And nothing animated!” She warned, making her way towards the kitchen.  
A loud, overdramatized groan that Max produced brought a faint, genuine smile to Chloe's face. Even if it disappeared quickly after she managed to hide herself between cupboards, there was no denying that it was there for a while.

She tried convincing herself that everything was actually alright. She didn't do anything wrong. How could she lie when there was nothing to lie about?  
_'Exactly, nothing happened. I just looked at someone. Big deal.'_  
She bit on her lower lip and reached towards the microwave, throwing the popcorn in it.  
_'So what if this 'someone' was Rachel?'_  
Without even an ounce of interest, Chloe observed how the light inside the microwave illuminated the spinning bag full of kernels.  
_'It's not like I'm going to see her ever again.'_  
While waiting for the popcorn to be done, she walked to the fridge and helped herself to a beer.  
_'It's better to just forget about it.'_

She felt vibrations in her pocket and reluctantly reached for her cell, expecting to see another unknown number calling her.  
The text message that appeared on her screen surprised her immensely.

**[16:25]unknown:** Hey. I'm sorry. I saw you on TV and I got worried. I have no right to ask you for anything but let's just talk, please. I know you noticed me today. I'm really, really sorry about everything. - R. 

Chloe quickly turned off her cell completely and left it near the fridge. “Fucking stupid ass goddamn shit.” She summarized quietly, her words lost between the microwave beeping.

 

_Fall asleep and dream now_  
_Your heart is ready to die_  
_Your jaws open wide_  
_Windows are made in your mind_  
  
_Sleep & Dream – Battle of Mice_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know that I really appreciate you all, right? Like, the response I got from you is so overwhelming and surprising, even more so since I didn't advertise this literally anywhere? I feel so bad for not responding directly but I'm really not a fan of doing so and cluttering the comment section.  
> I'm starting to think that it's a bad approach.  
> Anyway, I plan to end this before it reaches 20 chapters. And I really want to take a look at the couple of first chapters and correct as many mistakes as I can in them, because they are seriously bugging me now.  
> Oh, and a happy New Year, guys. May it be better than 2017, seriously.  
> Take care.


End file.
